broomie boy

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Everything posted by broomie boy

  1. Word Association

  2. Crap Jokes

    Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want". The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and POOF she's gone. The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and POOF she's gone. The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini". St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. "No Sister, he laughs, this says 'Sahara Pipeline, laid by 500 men in 7 days'!"
  3. Crap Jokes

    An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2am and is asked where is he going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replies, “That would be my wife.” In a small church somewhere in the Highlands, the minister had an idea to increase the collection. He said the person who contributed most could choose three hymns. When the plate came back he saw a roll of £20s. "Who gave this," he asked. "Me," said this little old spinster at the back. "OK, Minnie McHaggis, what three hymns would you like?" the minister asked. So, Minnie came to the front of the church and started pointing: "Him, and him, and him..."
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  8. Golf Terminology

    Here are some , whats yours A Rodney King - Over clubbed. A Stuart Lyons taxi trip - a ***** drive. A Gynaecologist's Assistant- Shaved the Hole. An Adolf Hitler- 2 shots in a bunker. A Sally Gunnell - Not very pretty but a good runner. A Diego Maradona. A nasty little 5-footer A Barbers Shop...Just off the fringe A John Holmes- rammed in a two footer
  9. Golf Terminology

    A Kingsmill , a playing partner you don't like but are happy to play along with :)
  10. Word Association

    Lesser :)
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  15. Crap Jokes

    I was going to a fancy dress party as a sweetie shop owner, and tried on my outfit. I walked into the livingroom and my wife said `give me a twirl'. Christ, I thought, this outfit must be really convincing Older guy is talking to the family doctor tells him he is concerned his wife is going deaf. the doctor suggests he tests her by speaking normally to her and keeps reducing the distance until he gets heard by her. returning home he is at the kitchen door and asks what's for tea dear? silence so moves closer and asks again,silence Standing right behind her he asks again what's for tea dear. For the third time Chicken. I found my first grey pubic hair today. I'll not be eating my granny's soup again.
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  24. Crap Jokes

    Two auld dears were hurtling doon the Royal Mile on a tandem. Jeannie turns round to Maggie and says, " Ye ken Maggie, I've never come this way before." And Maggie says, "Aye, same wi' me Jeannie – it must be they cobblestones." A scotch pie costs 1.50 in Trinidad and Tobago, it costs 1.70 in the domican republic and 2.15 in Jamaica. That's the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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