********GAME OFF********

Davie is a poet, and he didnae know it.

But McGonagall had the last laugh.

Ach Davie, it's anither disaster Ye couldnae write it ony faster It looks as though yer prose' is in vain An all because oh this feckin rain But ne'er mind it saves ye's losin Cos the Arabs wid hae gein ye a doin Tae the teuchters and all the Irish too Eh think we'd hae triumphed, 1 tae 2 But next time I'm up a'm goin tae see The North's finest poet, it's HeilanDee It's just such a pity his team were deducted Twenty five points, it's what was instructed

Dundee United are next up for Inverness this Wednesday evening with a 19:45 kick off.  United have closed the gap on Inverness with only goal difference separating the sides on 29 points, although United have four games in hand over the men from the North.  With no wins in ten now for Inverness, only Hibs and Hamilton can beat that, and that is the reason that they are at the foot of the table.  United saw off the city slackers on Sunday with a crushing 3-0 win over Calderwood's hapless Hibees.  Goals from Daly, Conway and Russell cofined Hibs to their fifth straight defeat and 634 minutes without scoring a goal. Playing only one game in December due to the wonderful Scottish weather, United are now left with a bit of catch up to do.  They have played less games than everyone else but now find themselves in the top six after their unbeaten run has seen them crawl in behind ICT.

United's recent form is almost the reverse of ICT's run.  Nine games without defeat in the SPL for the Arab's, add to that two cup games against our old feeder team from the quaint market town of Dingwall and you have a team on the up after a slow start to the season.  Our excellent early season form saw us fly out of the blocks to thump United in the second game of the season.  A resounding 0-4 scoreline gave us hope of bettering our best ever finish in the SPL, but recent events have seen us slump badly and our faint hopes of a top six place look to be under threat from all quarters, Hibs and Hamilton excepted.

With the transfer window open, Terry Butcher has brought in a few new faces.  Aaron Doran being the first and he made a substitutes appearance against the Dons last week, but the game was lost by then.  Former Hibs captain Chris Hogg has signed on at Inverness until the end of the season and will be required to help out at the back with suspensions looming for red carded Grant Munro, and Ross Tokely who's accumulated points tally will see him miss some action soon.  Nineteen year old Alex Macdonald has signed on loan from Burnley for the remainder of this season.  He is already a Scotland u21 player with an eye for goal.

Head to Head :- These two clubs have met nineteen times in the SPL.  Of the nine games played in Inverness, the home side have only won twice with United winning three.  There has also been two cup games in the Highlands and ICT won both.  In terms of goals scored during the SPL encounters in the Sneck, the overall aggregate for these would be ICT 6-10 United.  Only one no scoring draw would indicate that goals might be on order for Wednesday's game, and the highest tally in Inverness was a 1-3 victory for United on the 6th December 2008.  The overall picture is brighter for Inverness who lead the scoring at Tannadice by 16 goals to 13, with three wins apiece, the highest aggregate being a 2-4 win in what was Brewster's first game as Arabs manager against Charlie Christie's men; sweet.  The most goals scored in one game belongs to Inverness with 4, twice at Tannadice. However, this is a home game for Butcher's lads and with goals at a premium in this particular home fixture, and given our recent scoring drought it looks to favour an away win in a tight game. 

A one time Arab in a previous life, CTO's very own davie found himself drawn into a war of words with a certain Mr McGonagall, a rather curious old fellow, a weaver, actor and infamous wordsmith.   Like davie, McGonagall was misunderstood and his grasp of the English language left a lot to be desired, but it has withstood the test of time, and this preview is in honour of the bad Bard of Dundee, unlike davie, who was bad and barred from Dundee.  In amongst this conversation, there is a preview, obscured by words, but trust me, read on, it's in there somewhere. 

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William Topaz McGonagall sometime resided at Hawkhill Dundee in a ground floor tenement flat. It’s on the left as you go through the close, has high Victorian ceilings and not a bad line in cornice detail considering that this is Dundee and just along the road from the Tay Brig Bar. I noticed the cornices when I used to lie in my bed, musing on things. I lived in the same house, about 100 years after he did.

“Nice hoose ye had here Willie”

“Sir William to you boy, it wisnae so nice wi fourteen bairns and a wife and what do you want anyway?”

“I know you’ve been deid for ages and all that, but what’s your favourite Dundonian thing if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Fitba laddie, fitba. Ii’s the future and I’ve seen it from up here. The crowds, the noise and the good stewards, especially the ones at Tannadice. Nae publicans to throw peas at ye there. Grand.”

“Don’t tell me yer a dark blue are ye? Publicans are always throwing things at them.”

“Arab, you daft boy, through and through. I’m looking forward to meeting Jim MacLean soon, it must be near that time. He’s only lasted so long because he’s TT like me. I talk to Eddie Thompson a’ the time, he just wants another fight wi wee Jim. It should be fun; I think I might put it to verse”

“Why an Arab, Sir Willie?” I ignored the offer of verse.

“Do you know nothing boy? They used to be Dundee hibs, formed by Irish Labourers from Tipperary (“the tip” - part of Dundee, not great) and with a name like McGonagall, who else could I go for? Anyway, I like tangerine and they beat that Edinburgh hibs on sunday.”

“What do you think of United just now?”

“Ach, no bad. A bit like myself – never quite achieved the dizzy heights their undoubted talents merited, I could write about them so I could. But they’re getting there – they beat Ross County again you know and they have Irishmen playing for them”

“So do we”

“We?”

“Inverness, Caleyjags and all that. You wrote about it once, and thanks for the County thing. Stayed in the Gellions if I remember, after some gig. You said at the time:

Oh, magnificent city of Inverness,

And your beautiful river, I must confess,

With its lovely scenery on each side,

Would be good for one's health there to reside¹.

He looked shocked. "Surely there are no highlnders who could hold a candle to our Scots and Irishmen?" Little did he know. “Our Irishmen could beat yours you know” I said, sneaking in a challenge before he could recite the rest of that god awful poem. Whilst he spluttered away "You have Irishmen, how?" I told him: “Rooney is still here by some miracle and he can gub Garry Kenneth any day and wee Jonny looks like he could give Conway a run for his money. Richie Foran’s not quite firing on all cylinders but he’s good for this type of game and the new boy looks alright. Your full backs are toast.” His hand went up like a linesman’s flag:

“Just let me write this son; the muse has got me!

Rooney and Foran, Jonny and Doran,

All in a line they are running and roamin’

Their skill is a dazzling, their strength is immense,

All the way from Dublin to dear Inverness”

Aye, right, I searched for anything to put him off, but couldn't figure how you put off a dead guy.

“Willie, remember the last time we played you, what was the score?”

We left it there, before my ears started to bleed and he tried to rhyme something with Goodwillie but he was in some ways right. It’s a strong spine to a team that has to come right soon even without Munro and Tokely. Proctor should get a chance to shine against his former employers and Lee Cox or Russell Duncan might come into contention to add bite. Our additional new boy MacDonald may feature at some point, especially if Adam escapes before the window shuts, that way he can get to know his fellow under 21 internationals Shinnie & Ross. Well done lads. United have no injury, suspension or selection worries betrayed by their website. In fact, their website betrays precious little.

A long, long overdue home win please, cheers Willie.

¹ He actually wrote this! The heather blend club banquet, 1894.

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Thanks davie, I think I'll get Heilan Dee in to interpret this one.  Maybe you could get him to write a song for us.

tm4tj Prediction :- We are hoping that the Tay Bridge Disaster will turn into the Kessock Bridge Disaster for United, and Inverness can bury this dismal run of form, but I don't see anything to suggest that we are on the up.  A better performance against the Dons left a bitter sweet taste in the mouth, with Munro red carded and Hayes injured again.  On the sweet side, Rooney looked alert and was unlucky not to notch a goal or two, and Ryan Esson continues to perform heroics in goal.  We may have to endure a share of the spoils, and it could all depend on Hayes, or no Hayes, that is the question.

***Latest Team News***

Inverness have held onto Adam Rooney through the transfer window, but with him being out of contract in the summer, he would be free to sign a pre-contract with any club.  So three in, nobody out.  Grant Munro is suspended after his curious red card against Aberdeen where Chris Maguire did his best to attract the ref's attention after some arm wrestling allegedly.  Russell Duncan may be recalled with Duff surely filling the right back slot.  This would leave Grant's space to be filled by either a semi-fit Hogg, or Innes, who has not endeared himself to the Caley Jags fans with some cumbersome performances.  One other option would be to fit David Proctor along the back four somewhere.  Plenty options now from midfield forward, with Doran, Macdonald, Eric, Dani, Sutherland, Ross, Foran and Hayes (if fit) all fighting over three or four places.

Jonny Hayes looks like missing this one with the ankle knock sustained in the Aberdeen game.

Dundee United have signed Timothy van der Meulen for the remainder of this season, providing international clearance is OK, he could be handed a place in the squad.  He is a 20 year old defender who joins from Ajax, and is seen as a future prospect by Peter Houston.  Danny Cadamarteri had left Tannadice by "mutual consent" after 18 months.

Darren Dods, (machine), Paul Dixon and Scott Severin are all out, and Morgaro Gomis is rated as doubtful, which will make it a similar squad to the one that eased past Hibs at the weekend.

As davie reported above, no new injury news from Tannadice, and we expect the same squad to face Inverness.