McGonagall revisited as United head north.

This twice postponed match will surely go ahead this Tuesday evening (19:45) barring a disaster of McGonagall sized proportions.  The weather has wreaked havoc with United's schedule this season, more than most others, and it will be a welcome relief all round to get this fixture out of the way.  A waterlogged pitch a month ago caused a bit of a splash as a late call off meant a wasted trip for many supporters and the United team.

However, blue skies overhead and no snow underfoot should see this fixture completed, fingers crossed, in fact you might need to bring your sun glasses.

Inverness will look to bounce back after a poor showing at Easter Road with the capital side running out deserved winners against a lack lustre Highland squad, full of strangers, if Butcher's comments are anything to go by.  The performance in Edinburgh was in sharp contrast to the  battling display against St Johnstone the week before which gave the support some false hope that we had turned the corner, despite a depleted squad taking to the field.

The Arabs are a bit erratic as well, two defeats and two draws in their last four is not the sign of a team firing on all camels.  They served up a goalless draw in the Tayside derby; the pitch, the pitch, and an even worse draw against bottom club Hamilton where they had to come from behind to take a point.

Hot shot stopper Ryan Esson will hit the ton tonight as he will make his 100th appearance for the Caley Jags since signing in July 2008.  He has made 84 league appearances and 15 cup games since coming to Inverness and the United game will see hime reach his century.  Ryan has been the most consistent performer for Inverness this season and the only surprise is that Craig Levein continues to ignore him for a call up to the national squad.

Davie bumped into McGonagall before the last scheduled game against the Arabs and lo and behold he met up with the master of disaster once more to bring you this preview from beyond the grave.  Think outside the box, (not the penalty one), and you will find a preview in this meeting with Sir William, good luck.

Pert Twa

WHAT IS IT NOW? Will you leave that Ouija board alone?

Sorry Sir William, I had something else to say.

Crivvens, can a poet no get any peace, even if he’s deid? It’s bad enough up here wi aw they harps and lyres. So what is it?

Sorry Willie, I mean Sir William, I just thought I’d interrupt the heavenly reverie and all that ‘cause the last game got postponed.

Postponed, how?

A Highland flood of biblical proportions that made the ba stick like nae nails tae a blanket in the penalty box, apparently. Pitch had less bounce than a silicone boob job. Ironic, since we’ve been playing fitba when everyone else has been in the deep freeze and Tannadice looks like the kind of arctic tundra that Bruce Parry would love, meet natives and drink stuff that tastes like brake fluid. Hang on, that could be Dundee...

Aye said McGonagall, I think I remember something about that - a danger to the fine citizenry of Dundee travelling o’er hill and dale to the Sneck. Terrible country - I wrote about Loch Ness once;

“Your scenery is romantic,

Wi rocks and hills gigantic,

It’s enough to make you frantic”¹

He sat back smugly as I choked on my tea. Is that with or without the A9, I enquired splutteringly, but he just looked at me. The A9 makes me frantic anyway.

I thought we were here to talk fitba.

Oh aye right then, what happened at Hamilton? I only saw a wee bit with yon gadgie MacLean on sportscene doing reminiscence therapy wi a pensioner, but it looked worse than the stuff we saw at Easter Road. What’s going on?

Dunno, Davie, it’s a tangerine mystery to perplex the heavens – serial underachievers whose league position is out of kilter with their talent. I’m told. Still, could have been worse if Casaluinovo hidnae fallen over his own feet, what wi Russell missing a sitter or Robertson blootering it fae a yard oot, ach never mind. It’s injuries you know – we miss Garry Kenneth. And Dods and Kovacevic, and Daly. Nae height. Houston says “We have to take one game at a time," and "We have a small squad due to injuries”. If the fixture list gets any worse, we might end up playing two games at a time, all with people under 5'6". Not easy.

Same old story with United then? Mind you, we wernae much better on Saturday in auld reekie Willie – we wouldn’t have scored if we were still playing now. Butcher says we didn’t turn up but something in blue n’ red did. I just don’t know what it was. Butcher claimed that he might have picked up 14 strangers on the A9, so they might have been Angus or Boab or Andy from Dalwhinnie and his mates – they played like them. Hogg certainly showed his lack of acquaintance with his fellow defenders, Cox was underwhelming in midfield and the forwards were no better. I’m sure that was Adam Rooney up front , but maybe not, Dalwhinnie is full of 6’2” ginger topped ghillies and distillery men.

Oh. You’re a bit disgruntled Davie. That bad?

It’s injuries again you know Willie, or rather its one injury. Forget Gillet or Blumenshtein or Royster or anybody else - we miss Jonny Hayes. We’re like a three legged dog trying to pee on a lamp post without him – we just keep falling over.

Shame that, could be messy.

I know, it’s pish.

Sir William refused to rise to the (admittedly malodourous) talismanic bait. I could sense he was distracted now. I searched for facts:

We’ve met the Arabs 19 times so far in the SPL and its remarkably even – 5 v 6 wins, and 8 draws. They have hardly any points from their last three games (D, D, L), we at least have one win to crow about (L,W,D) ominously being against Taysidish opposition. They are on 31 points, we are on 33. We’re both still in the Cup. A quick website trawl reveals no fresh injury news from either team (Monday) amid the general air of gloom. It’s the lack of daylight I tell you. If we could replicate the balmy days of August where we crushed these “fiendishly grinning arabs²” as Willie would put it, all would be riotously well. It seems a long time ago since that 4-0 victory and it can’t come round quickly enough again. McCann’s gone so Russell Duncan, grab some sunshine - this is your hour.

Okay Mr. McGonagall, I’ll go now. It seems a bit inconsiderate all this continually waking the deceased, but a month’s a long time in this life so I promise not to invoke you again until at least the 19^th of next month….

He looked disgusted at that and asked if I knew what “rest in peace” actually meant, then he leaned over his chair shouting at someone I couldn’t see “Is MacLean here yet?”

I’d given up the ghost.

¹ Loch Ness. More Poetic Gems, 1962. Sandwiched between “The troubles of Matthew Mahoney” and “The avenging Angel”

² The rebel surprise near Tamai, Poetic Gems, Dundee 1896. Neatly confined between “The Clepington disaster” and “The burning of Exeter Theatre” Utter quality.

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Thanks davie, so that was the verse from the hearse, let's hope it turns into a rave from the grave; for ICT anyway.

Prediction:- With both sides dishing out disgruntlement in copious amounts, it would be prudent to stick your money on a point each.  Of course from an Inverness perspective, the result could hinge on whether we get a glimpse of Jonny Hayes, or possibly no glimpse of Eric Odhiambo, who is having a tough time convincing the fans with some less than accomplished performances.  A dull draw is my best shout.

***Latest Team News*** 

Inverness are set to continue without Jonny Hayes as the wide player is struggling to recover from his ankle/foot injury, although once again Butcher will give Jonny every chance to prove his fitness before kick off.  Proctor and Sanchez will be out for the forseeable future but Kenny Gillet has returned to training.  Left back position is proving difficult to fill at the moment, and Graeme Shinnie is still out with stomach problems.

Dundee United will not have the services of Jon Daly and Gary Kenneth for the next couple of weeks, and Severin, Dods and Kovacevic are still receiving treatment for long term injuries. Peter Houston has bemoaned the amount of draws United have amassed and is looking for a positive result, ahead of a hectic schedule coming up for the tangerines.

Other SPL news

Hamilton's Simon Mensing has revealed he was banned for a month after taking the substance methylhexaneamine after believing it to be ok.   http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/h/hamilton_academical/9407839.stm

Rangers took advantage of Celtic's first defeat in 17 games after thumping St Johnstone 4-0 on Sunday.  Neil Lennon's side were Well beaten, 2-0 at Fir Park.

St Johnstones Michael Duberry could be out for a few weeks after injuring his groin against the Gers.

Ricardo Vaz Te has signed for Hibernian until the end of the season.  The former Bolton forward has impressed Colin Calderwood in trials last week.  He has represented Portugal at u21 level.

Hamilton v Hibs are also playing on Tuesday night, and Wednesday night sees St Johnstone play Aberdeen, so top six places in the balance by the end of this week.

Inverness CT will know which side of the Old Firm will visit the Highlands on Scottish Cup duty after Wednesday nights 5th round replay at Celtic Park.  The first fixture was a thrilling encounter and Celtic seemed to be gaining the upper hand over their Glasgow rivals, but league results last weekend has thrown a massive spanner in the works with the Steelmen denting Lennon's pride and jhoy and Rangers title aspirations back on.

In the smaller leagues, Jimmy Calderwood will be looking for his first win as Ross County manager when they visit Stirling Albion.  Surely this time Jimmy?  Last seasons "team of the first division", ahem, are struggling badly and a defeat tonight could see them slip into the relegation play off position and only two points above the bottom club.

Elsewhere

Alex McLeish has become the first Birmingham manager to lift a major trophy since 1963.  City surprisingly defeated Arsenal 2-1 to win the Carling Cup with the decisive goal coming in the 89th minute, Obafemi Martins seizing on a calamitous error to stroke the ball into an empty net.  So, miracles do happen.