Charles Bannerman

Less than most people with any luck!

OK Mantis. Sense of humour transplant begun! I really wish Johndo would stop sitting on cameras!

Mantis... I'm not convinced that a colostomy is the ultimate insurance against piles. They are basically varicose veins in the rectum which you can presumably get even if no poo passes, although they may be less likely in these circumstances. IHE and Scarlet.... your respective ghastly picture and graphic description of "the operation" in the 1960s has quite put me off the Tescos breakfast I'm meant to be away to get now. "haemorrhoidectomy".... what a wonderful word for a spelling bee!

"Eenie... meanie" in my day. But nowadays that presumably becomes..... "Eenie meanie miny mo Catch a pigmentally intense person by the toe...."

Kingsmills.... to spotting you on the other side of the street, crossing over to interview you and realising it wasn't you after all..... twenty guineas!

Absolutely Sandy. A very interesting post, in unique conflict with the normal football fan's view that his club doesn't get enough coverage. And there's only one species that's worse than a journalist isn't there ... a teacher/journalist who gets all these holidays as well the the football "perks". I'm actually a bit surprised you've posted it on this forum and not on "Off the Park"... or have you had an attack of the "Grumpy old Man" syndrome? Oh, and by the way... you also seem to be suggesting that indulgent trawling of this site should be declared as a perk to the Revenue. I must remember that when I fill in my return.

Some of these old films Gerx13 mentions ring a vague bell with me. I do remember seeing, perhaps on that Grampian TV programme of old films (the name escapes me for the moment) the BB one and I've also seen one of a sports meeting. In fact an Inter School Sports at The Bught in the 50s comes to mind. In fact, as I write, I'm crystallising memories of having seen a compilation of film snatches of Inverness very similar to the one you describe. I think it was transferred to video. There are a few references in the Royal Academy log book during the 40s and 50s to the acquisition of new audio visual equipment, accompanied by a visit from "Mr. Nairn" to instal it and demonstrate its use. The thought of the spontaneous combustion of cellulose nitrate film is a bit scary! I certainly have no recollection of a restaurant in the La Scala. In fact the thought of one, linked with memories of all the spontaneous scratching you'd do after a visit (not an apocryphal tale either!) quite turns my stomach!

So Juanjo WASN'T the first Spaniard to play for Caley Thistle then?!

MFTJ.... that Jags result in1985 is not one I'd be likely to forget! On the assumption that Thistle had no chance at all, I treated myself to a much needed Saturday off. However I happened to be driving back up Kingsmills Road about 4:55 so I stopped and asked these guys in black and red what the score was. "3-0" was the (goodness knows why) somewhat subdued reply. "Never mind, lads. Next year, maybe." "3-0 THISTLE!!!!" I really regret having missed that one. Question for former Jaggies.... when Thistle went to Celtic Park in the next round, who was their substitute striker? (HINT - the same man came on as sub in a different position in Bruce McCraw's testimonial on Sunday.) By the way, I tend to be a bit of a pain in the a**e when it comes to the minutiae of the merger and apologise if I appear over pedantic. I think this originates from the need during these very delicate days to report things with absolute precision and impartiality!

Thanks Caley D... I hadn't realised that Wikipedia was an open source. As far as I am concerned that means that I will be looking on its contents with a good deal more caution in the future. At best, a lot of Internet sources are of dubious reliability and what you've just said has certainly downgraded this one. As for adding to it, that, unfortunately, requires a degree of technical competence so I'll just give it a miss!

A couple of points here. As far as I recollect, it was in 1985 and not 89-90 that Jags beat Kilmarnock 3-0 at Kingsmills. Also, whilst understanding the need for brevity is describing the merger process, I have some reservations about this statement from Wikipedia"..... "Caledonian decided to apply for membership, as did city rivals Inverness Thistle. The SFL hinted that a joint application might be more successful and the boards of Caley and Thistle decided to merge. This decision was met with widespread opposition by supporters of both sides but an amalgamation went ahead." It's principally the second sentence I take issue with. For a start, even within the necessary constraints of a single sentence, it oversimplifies a rather more complex process. Secondly, and possibly more importantly, it was not the "boards" of the two clubs which made the decision. Neither club had a board since they were both members clubs. It was the Memberships of the two clubs, on the recommendations of their respective committees, which corporately both voted in favour of a merger. I'm also not convinced that either club decided to apply on its own account although it was always a possibility. Caley had had a "letter of intent" lodged with the SFL for some years which wasn't an application since, when it was lodged, no vacancy existed. It was more a standing delcaration of interest in SFL membership. Thistle had just missed out on a previous application during their heyday in the early 70s. But given the extent of their financial decline in the intervening 20 years, I'm not convinced that they could or would have sustained an independent application in 1993. But there's no point in rehashing history. I for one am in no doubt that the outcome which (eventually!) arose was the best one for football in Inverness.

R and B CB.... if you're under about 40 you probably won't remember The Playhouse which, as I think has been said already, burned down in 1972 while showing Le Mans. It was at the end of Hamilton Street, two along from the Station Hotel (Royal Highlander.... nothing is sacred in this place!) in the direction of Markies.... next door to the Pizza restaurant. Apart from being the town's better (best in the days of the Palace) picture house, the cafe upstairs was also renowned for being transformed into Disneyland at Christmas time - the genius of one Jimmy Nairn. Those in their latter 40s and 50s will remember Inverness Royal Academy prize givings being held there. Those of an older Royal Academy vintage will have been at prize giving in the Empire.

Especially for Third Division football!

Michael Rennie was the actor who played Harry Lime in the Third Man TV series. To digress, other TV memories from that era included Maigret (striking the match against the wall and lighting the fag) starring Rupert Davies, Hiram Holliday, Fireball XL5, Robin Hood starring Richard Greene, William Tell starring Conrad Phillips, good old Bilko who is still with us of course, Sunday Night at the London Palladium (I still tell the corny joke to Chemistry classes about the catalyst for hydrogenation of alkenes being Nickel except on Sunday nights when it's Palladium... they haven't got it for years!), Take Your Pick with Michael Miles, Double Your Money with Hughie Green.....which for a different reason makes me think of Jess Yates (The Bishop) in a later era, Tonight with Cliff Michelmore and featuring Fife Robertson, Grampian presenters June Imrie and Jimmy Spankie (who these days would probably be obliged to sign the sex offenders' register), Laramie, Wells Fargo, The Lone Ranger (see William Tell above), Crackerjack (HOORAY!) with Leslie Crowther, Eamonn Andsrews and Peter Glaze (does anyone remember Eamonn Andrews as a boxing commentator), Sportsview with the ancient TV cameras in the days when you used to have all these invalid cars parked round the pitch (apologies to the PC brigade but I can't think of anyhting to call them other than "invalid cars"). Wow! What a digression!

I think it was part of the Lifesaving training.... related possibly to pulling a rescued person up from the bottom. I THINK the Lifesaving technique was called the Holger-Neilsen method when you got behind the person, put one hand to either side of their head and pulled them backwards with a breast stroke kick. The kiosk was the place that sold the Puff Candies. In later years I think it was taken over by someone called George. We used to go to the Baths from Dalneigh by double decker too. It was the wee blue Pagliari's van that did the Harry Lime theme. When I was in Italy (sorry... I sound like Jonathan Watson doing Denis Law!) last week it was SO good to get real Italian ice cream for once. PS - the Morettis were quite good too, if a bit expesive in some bars. Drink prices ranged from a fiver a pint (OUCH!) to a mere 90p for quarter of a litre of wine... but I digress.....

Don't know too much about this since I am now home but I gather the Pistoia team were at least a bit more competitive, which is what the manager said he wanted. Dargo - 2 McCaffrey Wyness Wilson. 1-0 HT. More than that I don't know. What I have is just the result of a quick call to Trevor Martin on the team bus back from the ground at Pistoia to Montecatini. If Italy win the Final, all left over there will have a WONDERFUL time tomorrow night!

OK so that does make Rory McAllister's goal last night ICT's fastest ever. I remember checking that up when Dargo scored against Celtic before Christmas but last night could only remember that the fastest was in an earlier friendly. The time escaped me. Thanks Scotty. I'm now heading home so won't be able to post on the second game but the club seem to be well on the ball on that anyway.

I have been particularly impressed by Parratt, both in tonight's game and on the training field.

A number of club records broken in this one. The 12-0 scoreline certainly eclipses the 8-1 against Annan Athletic and the attendance of 7 (SEVEN) members of the public must also be a record low (it rose to 19 by the end.) Also, given that the media are strictly neutral, this must be the first ICT game with NO ICT fans present! I couldn't get a hold of Ian Broadfoot to check whether Rory McAllister's opener after 19 seconds is also the fastest ever goal, but I do know there was a very fast one in a pre season friendly some years ago. It was almost totally one sided although Mark Brown did have one decent save to make in the first half. MIchael Fraser came on in the second along with 5 others but Michael had very little to do. The goals were - 19 sec - McAllister header. 2 - Wilson - lovely 20 yard volley. 27 - Keogh 32 - McAllister 38 - McAllister completes his hat trick. 5-0 half time. 48 - Black - largely made by himself. 61 - Dargo straight into the top corner from an acute angle on the right. 67 - Duncan header. 70 - Dargo penalty. 77 - Dargo completes his hat trick. 82 - McCaffrey scored what Stuart describes as the best goal of the game! Barry might dispute that! 90 - Wyness. Charlie said that although there was a big differenece between the teams it was a good and worthwhile start for his side, although he hopes that Saturday's game against another local side will be tougher. The starting eleven was - Brown, Parratt, Golabek, Munro, Dodds, McBain, Wilson, Wyness, McAllister, Keogh, Morgan. There were mass substitutions at half time and nobody who was in any danger at all of worsening any minor injury was played at all.

Kick off time was advanced by half an hour yesterday to 8:30 local time, 7:30 UK time. It definitely won't be on BBC online. We have about 20 min on the bus back to the hotel after the match but IF we can get a hold of the necessary internet facilities, we'll do our best to put a score and outline details on this site as soon as we can. But in any case I'll have a report on the BBC's Highlands and Islands bulletin just before 8 tomorrow morning. Report and photos will also be sent to most national papers. I understand the team will be playing in white this evening. We are also wondering if this will be the first ever ICT game where there is not a single ICT fan in support?

The first game is tonight, kick off 7:30 UK time, at a ground which we have come to call "Stadio del Big Hill behind Montecatini Terme". It looks a wee bit like the Queens Park in Inverness. It's where the team have been training much of the time, working extremely hard and looking very fit. But to return to the game, it's against Montecatini and seems to be of a level which suits Charlie perfectly. There will be a match report on the BBC Highlands and Islands bulletin sat 7:50. There are also hopes that something will arrive with the Scottish press tomorrow morning. There's a second game against another side on Saturday night. It's been extremely hot out here with temperatures up to 35C. The players have been doing double sessions in this, except today when there's just a single morning session in advance of the game.

Just to let ICT fans know that there will be a small "media" group in Italy not too far away from the ICT squad so news will get back here, hopefully quite soon. Kenny MacPherson and Trevor Martin will be there to do pics for various newspapers, including the local press. Alasdair Fraser will also be doing newspaper reports . I'll have stuff fairly regluarly on BBC local bulletins either at 0750, 1254 or 1654. This can be accessed on 92-95FM but only within the Highlands and Islands. I also hope to have an overview on radio after the team returns and there will be coverage in the Highland News both this coming week and next. I'm not sure what The Courier are going to have, but there WILL be information available if you keep your eyes and ears open.

caleydon... I will both answer your questions and take issue with a couple of your statements. No, Tullochs will not be "pulling out of the club". They will still retain two "Tulloch" directors on the Board and shares will be transferred to the Inverness Sports Trust whose directors will be David Sutherland and his Tullochs deputy George Fraser. Also, in response to a direct question from me in an interview on Wednesday night, David Sutherland quite categorically stated that support for Caley Thistle by Tullochs would continue. (However I would add my own opinion here that the football club also needs in the longer term to become more self sufficient.) As far as the 4th stand is concerned.... how often could the crowd exceed the current limit of 7500 and by how much? How often, for that matter, are there fewer than 2000 empty seats at the moment? Is it worth spending upwards of £1M for the sake of something like three games a season? As for the "present waffle about a gas main" being "just a load of codswallop", the situation, again described publicly by David Sutherland in an interview, is that to build something as heavy as a stand over the gas main would need a device called a "cantilever". This would be extremely expensive and couldn't be justified in relation to the usage a third stand would get. Something lighter like a family enclosure might be realisitic but there are other items of expenditure which have higher priority. Finally, with reference to your statement that "£200,000 would be better spent on the stadium rather than some airy fairy trust"... you seem to have forgotten that ICT is not the only sports club in town and that Tullochs are very aware of the need to support other sports. They have mentioned athletics, shinty and rugby as examples. The £200,000 is NOT specifically, if at all, for ICT. Unfortunately I detect on these forums an occasionally proprietorial attitude towards Tullochs. ICT are not Tullochs' only beneficiaries, even within football, and indeed the company was supporting other sports before Caley Thistle was even a glint in ther eye of the enlightened gentlemen who got it here. In the intervening years, Tullochs have helped football to catch up on other sports in Inverness in terms of standards. Before 1994 many other sports were producing performers up to advanced international standard (and still do) whilst football (partly because of the intransigence of the SFL clubs) was struggling along at local level - ie the Highland League. We are all familiar with the revolution which has allowed football to play a welcome catchup in the last 12 years. That has been assisted by Tullochs' money and all Tullochs are doing now is to re emphasise their previous policy of helping a wide range of sports.

All I would add is that, over the years, ICT and the greater Inverness community have had a constructively symbiotic co-existence. They have benefited each other hugely, although I would have to add the caveat that whilst Inverness could have survived without Caley Thistle, the converse is not the case. But that's merely an historical analysis. Fortunately both are going from strength to strength to their mutual benefit.

Scotty... "breakpoint chlorination" I think they called it. That, if anything, was the most limiting factor in terms of how long you could stay in. And then when you went outside afterwards it hit you again. Donnie Ross.... the very man who taught me to swim. Lesson 1 was by numbers sitting on the floor of a store room. My poison after a swim was Puff Candy, without the chocolate coat... so I'm surprised I have as many teeth left as I do. Willie Bell baiting was always a wonderful sport. I think the street you mean might be Friars Street.