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Any Single Dads With Custody?


SMEE

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Are you able to share how he managed that? Was it that the mother was just an unfit mother or was it just deemed that the kids be better with their dad?? Im curious to how he managed to win. Am at the stage where av had enuff of sitting back!

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Hi Smee I have full custody of my 3 boys. I got the residency as they call it now 3/11/2006. It was a very difficult time for lots of different reasons. It was through the courts in England but if I can help drop me a message.

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Many thanks for your input people. got some thinking to do now. DewsburyDude....i might be in touch yet. Now i have slept on things, and the dust has settled, am a bit calmer. Doesnt change the fact that the wee ones are desperate to live wi me tho. :lol:

Having looked into it a bit...it seems to have to be really bad for the kids for the courts to award custody to the dad.

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I actually think that the system is flawed and that it shouldn't be the case of things being so bad with the mother before things can be changed.

This thinking that kids are best with their mother is not always right. I was actually speaking to someone about this last night and apparently there are 1 or 2 countries where the child belongs to the father. They are very open minded about affairs and if you were to get their wife pregnant, they don't even have a problem with that as long as you take your child away with you when you go. Now that is the other extreme where the mothers have no rights so I'm not saying that's ideal either, but there must be some common ground.

Good luck Smee

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I actually think that the system is flawed and that it shouldn't be the case of things being so bad with the mother before things can be changed.

This thinking that kids are best with their mother is not always right.

Good luck Smee

I agree...

Good luck from Jb

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Being honest folks....the kids arent in any danger or anything where they are. They arent around drugs...or beaten or anything, Its just...well...their mother hasnt got as much interest in em as she should. So they arent really at risk

And basically...the courts wouldnt entertain me based on that, judging from what i have read so far.

They love being wi me....where they get loads of affection, attention if they want it and the freedom to be kids with me. They would be far happier here. (One time...even a nursery worker at playgroup said that to me) This morning..i said to Lewis...if he had one wish in the world, what would it be...and he said to stay with me.

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Being honest folks....the kids arent in any danger or anything where they are. They arent around drugs...or beaten or anything, Its just...well...their mother hasnt got as much interest in em as she should. So they arent really at risk

And basically...the courts wouldnt entertain me based on that, judging from what i have read so far.

They love being wi me....where they get loads of affection, attention if they want it and the freedom to be kids with me. They would be far happier here. (One time...even a nursery worker at playgroup said that to me) This morning..i said to Lewis...if he had one wish in the world, what would it be...and he said to stay with me.

Really admire you mate, I think most guys would be only to happy to leave the kids with their ex and go back to the single life.

When I got together with my wife, she had 2 children (girls) both with different dads. In the 10 years we have been together, their Dads have taken next but nothing to do with them, and have let them down more times than I care to remember. There has been zero financial support either.

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Being honest folks....the kids arent in any danger or anything where they are. They arent around drugs...or beaten or anything, Its just...well...their mother hasnt got as much interest in em as she should. So they arent really at risk

And basically...the courts wouldnt entertain me based on that, judging from what i have read so far.

They love being wi me....where they get loads of affection, attention if they want it and the freedom to be kids with me. They would be far happier here. (One time...even a nursery worker at playgroup said that to me) This morning..i said to Lewis...if he had one wish in the world, what would it be...and he said to stay with me.

Really admire you mate, I think most guys would be only to happy to leave the kids with their ex and go back to the single life.

When I got together with my wife, she had 2 children (girls) both with different dads. In the 10 years we have been together, their Dads have taken next but nothing to do with them, and have let them down more times than I care to remember. There has been zero financial support either.

I know what you mean about zero support. I get ?5 a week for 3 kids. I know its not exactly zero, but, ?1.66 per child per week is a p*ss take. Then I am have to drive 150 miles to pick them up when she has them.

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Being honest folks....the kids arent in any danger or anything where they are. They arent around drugs...or beaten or anything, Its just...well...their mother hasnt got as much interest in em as she should. So they arent really at risk

And basically...the courts wouldnt entertain me based on that, judging from what i have read so far.

They love being wi me....where they get loads of affection, attention if they want it and the freedom to be kids with me. They would be far happier here. (One time...even a nursery worker at playgroup said that to me) This morning..i said to Lewis...if he had one wish in the world, what would it be...and he said to stay with me.

Really admire you mate, I think most guys would be only to happy to leave the kids with their ex and go back to the single life.

When I got together with my wife, she had 2 children (girls) both with different dads. In the 10 years we have been together, their Dads have taken next but nothing to do with them, and have let them down more times than I care to remember. There has been zero financial support either.

I aint with my kids father but they have the most amazing step dad who supports them more emotionally and financialy too.. They dote on their step dad.

I admire men who are willing to be single dads my cousin is a single dad and i admire him for what he has done and he works to on his dads farm has lots of help from the family. I think dads can be just as good single parents as mums.

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It breaks my heart reading this, my wee bro is in what sounds like the same thing, My nephew is awsome, clever, funny just ace, and it breaks my heart when i hear him ask his daddy to stay one more night when he has to go back to his mums, Shes not bad to him, in all fairness shes a good mum, just wont let my bro have him that often and does make life hard for him when he does get him, but when he asked my wee bro one day why he didnt have the same second name, daddy explained why in a really good way, to which my nephew replayed, daddy im going to get a tatoo that says "Me and Daddy forever!!" just like you have daddy... its not a nice situation to be in and my heart goes to you..... good luck.x

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All the best SMEE.

People have mentioned their admiration for myself taking on another mans children, but that admiration falls short by some distance for the admiration I have for you - I hope it all goes well for you buddy.

Myself and the other half have mentioned my adoption of the kids, especially as both have muttered wanting to change surnames too. One rule I find very strange is that she (my wife that is) would need to give up certain parental rights, which is something I could never ask her to do. I can only be there for them as much as i know how and do the best i can, should things, god forbid, go to pot in future.

All i will say is, keep your chin up and do whats best for the children. They are, after all, caught in the middle. I'm sure you will do the best for them whatever the outcome. I wish you luck!!!

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Thanx for all the support people. Im humbled. Id just like to clarifty tho....my ex isnt a bad mum as such. She does do fun stuff with them that i cant...like takes em to the beach......taken them abroad and stuff. But it is interspersed with behaviour i find hard to accept at times. i just wish she was more in touch with her motherly insticnt more than any of that other stuff.

I remember her saying she wasnt wanting to have the same relationship she had with their mother, but, things are fast heading that way and she cant seem to see it. I wish she would get it into her head that they only get one childhood, and that shapes em for life

But After our youngest was born...she changed beyond all recognition. I dont know what happened. She just seems to have lost interest in a lot of things. I dont understand it, as she has landed on her feet, got a rich boyfriend, who bought them a fancy house, and even a horse ffs.....all stuff she used to dream of.....and still she aint happy!

We have an older son too.....who isnt technically mine, but i been his dad since he was four...and he has sed he would much rather live with me also. Its kinda sad that the kids feel this way. Ad be over the moon if the adored their mum too, but you would have to question why, kids that hadnt seen or heard from their mum in 10 days, are in no way pleased to see her....more upset about having to leave here.

Honestly....i dont think ad stand a chance......all i can do at the end of the day, is continue what i am doing.

Edited by SMEE
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i think you'll be safe knowing that the kids know the difference between real love and bought love.

you're ex's boyfriend may well be trying to please them by buying them expensive things such as horses, but they clearly know where they can find real love - and this is what kids need.

Take my step kids for instance. I don't shower them with gifts by any means, but i do treat them to a sweet or toy on the rare occasions that they behave. I take them on days outand spend time with them whenever i can. they also know the main reason i took driving lessons and got a car, was to enable us to do more things as a family rather than waiting to a rare date i can afford the extortionate inverness bus fares.

Like i said before, you can only do your best to support them no matter what happens. They will always know you're there for them and they will always have a roof over their heads should your ex distance herself from them at all.

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Take my step kids for instance. I don't shower them with gifts by any means, but i do treat them to a sweet or toy on the rare occasions that they behave.

Interesting you should say that Gringo Jnr...for...i was ripped apart the other night, coz I buy my kids sweets and i give them puddings. To put it into perspective....they get ONE sweet per day (like a pack of smarties) and ONE pudding a day, after dinner, which this weekend, is strawberry cornettos.

But....she views that as not nescescary and spoiling them, so...a reason for her to pick a fight!

I think she is a deeply unhappy person, and it is not going unoticed by the kids. JUst to back that up...she spent 4 yrs training as a nurse, landed her first proper job, and hadnt even managed a full year...before having to cut her hours to 20 per week...as she was struggling! So thats not a good sign

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