For a start, do too many people give a hoot about the men's BV? There are already lots of stories about the bars being packed when the men's events are on but emptying spontaneously as people (well mainly blokes) flood back for the women's.
On which subject - sport or gratuitous titilliation? The stuff of Grandstand or Towie? Should the venue be Horseguards... or would Basildon, Braintree or Harlow be more appropriate?
I was less than surprised that The Sun contrivied to publish a substantially enlarged rear view of the more "svelte" looking of the British duo this morning.
Two of the more interesting rules of women's BV (and I kid you not!) are that the bikini bottoms must have no more than 6cm width of fabric at the hip and can only be dispensed with in favour of shorts if the temperature drops to 16C or below!
It's interesting also that Prince Harry seems to have grabbed a job as some kind of Royal Ambassador to the BV. I suppose his excuse is that the venue is quite handy since his granny has got a place just up the road.
I have to say, even though I found myself a bit irritated by the spontaneous outbursts of raucous music, hand slapping and hugging every time a point is scored, that as a sporting spectacle I found it quite entertaining to watch.