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Narey's Toepoker

A blog by hislopsoffsideagain in Football

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About this blog

Looking for some insight and debate about Scottish football? Don't get your hopes up. If you want to hear from a cynical, whinging Caley Thistle fan, on the other hand, you're in luck...

Entries in this blog

2025/26 Scottish Premiership preview

Before we get on to anything else, I'd like to point out that I got huge stick last season for predicting Dundee would come tenth. Just saying, like. What do you mean, even a stopped clock is right twice a day? Anyway... In recent years, my Premiership season preview has tended to follow a pattern: first we have The Cheeks Of The Glasgow a***, then we look at the three clubs whose budgets should -but often don't - put them comfortably clear of the rest, and then the other seven who could all pot

2025/26 Scottish Championship preview

Ah, the mad, bad Scottish Championship, a place where teams who think they're too good for this level quickly learn to show respect after they've been scudded at Gayfield. There's a reason why clubs looking to get promoted fill their squad with players who are known to be good at this level, rather than ones who they think can do a job in the top flight. Thus ROSS COUNTY followed their relegation by quickly moving for Declan Gallagher and Ross Docherty, who formed the backbone of the Dundee Un

2025/26 Scottish League One preview

For my annual League One reviews, I've tended to assume that full-time sides (the ones that are not financial basket-cases) are likely to beat out part-time ones over the course of a whole season. Of course Arbroath put that particular theory to shame last season, but I'm not going to let a small thing like that stop me. Of this season's four full-time League One teams, INVERNESS CALEDONIAN THISTLE are the bookies' favourites but start with a five point deduction courtesy of last season's admi

2025/26 Scottish League Two preview

Lessons I've learned from the League Two previews I've done in the past (many of which have been extremely, spectacularly wrong): - Do not pay much attention to the League Cup group results. They tend not to be a good indicator of what's coming. - If there is a team that is pretty well bankrolled, put them near the top as they will either romp it or, if they don't, they will sack their manager and/or bring in loads of players in January and then romp it. - The weakest team right now is not actua

The eighteenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year

I'm getting later at doing this every year, so sorry about that. Still, traditions are traditions. And it's always a fun excuse to look back at the teams from the olden days. I can barely remember when Stephen Hughes was actually a thing... 2007/08: Allan McGregor (Rangers), Alan Hutton (Rangers), Carlos Cuellar (Rangers), Lee Wilkie (Dundee United), Lee Naylor (Celtic), Barry Robson (Celtic), Stephen Hughes (Motherwell), Barry Ferguson (Rangers), Aiden McGeady (Celtic), Scott McDonald (Celtic

Worst signings of the 2024/25 Premiership season (part 2)

This year's top ten, as promised. Numbers 11 to 25 can be found here. In all the year's I've done this, I've not really had to think much about ranking players in the context of clubs releasing them because of run-ins with the police. How on earth do you quantify that? And is it possible to still think of this exercise as a bit of pointless fun when you're referring to allegations of assaulting a woman, or domestic violence? Hopefully next year I'll be back to just ranking goalkeepers with c

Worst Signings of the 2024/25 Premiership season (part 1)

As Andy Williams once sang, it's the most wonderful time of the year. People wrongly assumed that he was referring to Christmas, but actually he was a big fan of this blog. Honestly. For the thirteenth time, I present my list of the worst signings made by Premiership clubs this season. Here's your reminder of the twelve previous victors : 2012/13: Rory Boulding (Kilmarnock) 2013/14: Stephane Bahoken (St. Mirren) 2014/15: Jim Fenlon (Ross County) 2015/16: Rodney Sneijder (Dundee United) 2016/17

2024/25 Scottish Premiership preview

A friend and I were reminiscing about the good old days the other evening and discussing how old we were when we first got into football. For me, it was the 1990/91 season, as Scotland embarked on their successful Euro 92 qualifying campaign and Aberdeen failed to get the point they needed at Ibrox on the final day to win the title (to this day, an Aberdeen-supporting mate practically spits on the ground at the mention of Michael Watt). That was more than 33 years ago and in that time no-one e

2024/25 Scottish Championship preview

When was the last time the Scottish Championship felt as open as this? Usually the side(s) that come down have a clear financial advantage that ultimately works in their favour over the course of an entire season, but that isn't the case this time around. And at the other end we can normally pinpoint a part-time side as relegation favourites, but not in 2024/25. Genuinely, there are reasons why fans of every club can dream of a successful season...and perhaps fear a dreadful one. Let's do this

2024/25 Scottish League One preview

Traditionally, my League One season previews follow a standard pattern: the full-time teams near the top, the well-run part-time teams in the middle and part-time teams that seem one step up from a pub side at the bottom. Except this time around the part-time teams seem to be the professional outfits, whereas the full-time sides...well, let's segue neatly onto the subject of  INVERNESS CALEDONIAN THISTLE, who are back in the seaside leagues for the first time this century, and my God it has be

2024/25 Scottish League Two preview

In the absence of one clear heavily-bankrolled favourite, trying to predict League Two has been a bit of a mug's game in recent years. Luckily, I happen to be a mug. I work from three tenets here; firstly, a good (or terrible) manager makes a hell of a difference; secondly, good recruitment makes a hell of a difference; and thirdly, the League Cup results are a lousy predictor (Forfar Athletic have burned me too often on this point). I'm not in a position to judge whether the maverick Michael Mc

The seventeenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year (part 2)

The defence and goalkeeper can be found here. CENTRAL MIDFIELD: MATT O'RILEY (CELTIC), CALLUM MCGREGOR (CELTIC) Honourable mentions: Lyall Cameron (Dundee), Beni Baningime (Heart of Midlothian), Connor Barron (Aberdeen), Mark O'Hara (St. Mirren) I'm cheating a bit here as O'Riley could - should? - be better placed as an attacking midfielder. Anyway, he was damn good and possibly should have won Player Of The Year? McGregor is McGregor, a class above any other deep-lying midfielder in the leagu

The seventeenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year (part 1)

How long do I have to keep this going before I can call this an 'annual tradition'? I'm mainly doing it because I've always done it and I'm worried the universe will implode and swallow itself whole if I stop. But I haven't yet reached the point when I can look back and laugh at the fact I included Daniel Majstorovic one year. The previous sixteen vintages, for the record: 2007/08: Allan McGregor (Rangers), Alan Hutton (Rangers), Carlos Cuellar (Rangers), Lee Wilkie (Dundee United), Lee Nayl

Picking Scotland's Euro 2024 squad...again

Steve Clarke has till 6 June to name his Euro 2024 squad. We had a go at predicting it all the way back in November; since then UEFA have confirmed that 26 players can be named - just like at the last Euros - and we have lost Lewis Ferguson to an ACL injury. Here's who I think Clarke will pick, with my thoughts. I'm not expecting any 'October surprises' so there's no Harvey Barnes or Tino Livramento here, sadly... GOALKEEPERS On the plane: Angus Gunn, Craig Gordon, Zander Clark Missing out:

Worst signings of the 2023/24 Premiership season (part 2)

Here's part 1, the countdown from 25 to 11. And here's the top 10. Who will succeed Anthony Stewart as the 'winner'? 10. RILEY HARBOTTLE (HIBERNIAN)According to Harbottle, he was so strongly encouraged to join Hibs by then-Forest teammate Scott McKenna that McKenna "seemed more excited about it than I was". I wouldn't take advice from him in the future, Riley. Harbottle joined Hibs on a three year deal for "an undisclosed fee", made one league appearance (a defeat at home to Livingston) and di

Worst signings of the 2023/24 Premiership season (part 1)

Ah, it's that time of year again. I don't have much time for blogging these days, but I will always try and make an exception for this. The eleven previous 'winners' of our Worst Signing award: 2012/13: Rory Boulding (Kilmarnock) 2013/14: Stephane Bahoken (St. Mirren) 2014/15: Jim Fenlon (Ross County) 2015/16: Rodney Sneijder (Dundee United) 2016/17: Joey Barton (Rangers) 2017/18: Eduardo Herrera (Rangers) 2018/19: Umar Sadiq (Rangers) 2019/20: Madis Vihmann (St. Johnstone) 2020/21: Shane Duff

Picking Scotland's Euro 2024 squad

It's still more than six months until Euro 2024, and the draw hasn't even been made yet. So of course it's far, far too early to think about who will be in Steve Clarke's squad for the finals. But I'm not going to let that stop me. Rather than just list twenty-three names (current info suggests that the squad size will be cut back to what it was before Covid and Euro 2020), I'm going to break things down by position and look at what options there are, as well as who is most likely to be on the p

Dodds was a symptom of Caley Thistle's problems - and this is their last chance to fix them

Maybe it was the realisation that Billy Dodds couldn't even beat Raith Rovers that was the end of him. For what it's worth, Caley Thistle only lost to a late goal away from home to a club who went top of the Championship as a result of their victory. And by all accounts the visitors put on their best performance of the season and squandered numerous chances of their own. But Inverness had this absolutely mental record against Rovers where in twenty-three years and thirty-four competitive match

2023/24 Scottish Premiership preview

The Premiership increasingly feels like three separate leagues due to the vast financial disparities...so that's how I'm going to treat it for this season's preview... THE OLD FIRM/GLASGOW DERBY (delete as applicable) TIER  (Finishing outwith the top two, or even less than ten points ahead of third should result in manager and entire squad being hanged, drawn and quartered) CELTIC: they say you should never go back, but for Brendan Rodgers I think an exception can be made. Celtic can be pret

2023/24 Scottish Championship preview

God, I hate the Scottish Championship. My club have been stuck in this particular circle of hell since 2017 and I'm desperate for us to get out of it. And the more time that passes the more likely it is that my wish will be granted...but with a move downward rather than up. After all there's always someone worse off than you...and it's Falkirk. The usual script for this league is as follows; one club has a decent financial advantage over all the others, and that club gets promoted. The last co

2023/24 Scottish League One Preview

Whereas in League Two the difference in budget between richest and poorest is pretty minimal, League One has four clubs who are full time - Cove Rangers, Falkirk, Hamilton Accies and Queen of the South - and six clubs who savour bloodying their noses regularly. So while I make no apology for my choice of the top four it is quite easy to see it going spectacularly wrong for each of them. Take FALKIRK, for example. It's like the Bairns have been given a special demotivational plaque by Mr Burns.

2023/24 Scottish League Two preview

With no moneybags team in League Two right now it's decidedly harder to predict who is going to win it. Last season I suggested Forfar Athletic, who ended up looking like relegation candidates until they changed manager. Having a good (or terrible) boss, or being the team with the striker that scores twenty goals are the sort of factors that can have an exponential effect at this level. And so we segue rather clumsily straight onto ELGIN CITY, who nearly finished bottom last season and have ma

The sixteenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team Of The Year (part 2)

I said I'd get it done 'eventually', didn't I? CENTRAL MIDFIELDERS: CALLUM MCGREGOR (CELTIC), REO HATATE (CELTIC) Honourable mentions: Leighton Clarkson (Aberdeen), Ylber Ramadani (Aberdeen), Cammy Devlin (Heart of Midlothian), Ryan Jack (Rangers), Keanu Baccus (St. Mirren), Mark O'Hara (St. Mirren) I desperately wanted to not flood the team with Celtic players. And reader, I failed miserably. Trying to shoehorn anyone in ahead of McGregor and Hatate here would have made me a laughing stock.

The sixteenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team Of The Year (part 1)

I've done this every year for sixteen years, and to be honest it's never felt more like a chore. When you don't have any skin in the game - that's six years Caley Thistle have been stuck in the Championship - it becomes even harder to be motivated by watching Celtic and Rangers pump everybody. It's also more difficult than ever to pick players from other clubs for this XI, because I'm very close to crossing the 'taking the p***' line' by doing so. Still, I've tried my best. For historical reco

Worst signings of the 2022/23 Premiership season (part 2)

Top ten time! Here's the countdown from 25 to 11, if you missed it. 10. JOHN SOUTTAR (RANGERS) There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and John Souttar getting injured. Inevitably Soapy got crocked on his Rangers debut and was missing for eight months; giving him an Old Firm game at Celtic Park for his first start felt like a disaster waiting to happen and so it proved with the centre-back gifting a goal with a dreadful backpass. Rangers need a reliable partner for Connor Goldson; Sou

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