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Narey's Toepoker

A blog by hislopsoffsideagain in Football

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About this blog

Looking for some insight and debate about Scottish football? Don't get your hopes up. If you want to hear from a cynical, whinging Caley Thistle fan, on the other hand, you're in luck...

Entries in this blog

2023/24 Scottish Championship preview

God, I hate the Scottish Championship. My club have been stuck in this particular circle of hell since 2017 and I'm desperate for us to get out of it. And the more time that passes the more likely it is that my wish will be granted...but with a move downward rather than up. After all there's always someone worse off than you...and it's Falkirk. The usual script for this league is as follows; one club has a decent financial advantage over all the others, and that club gets promoted. The last co

2023/24 Scottish Premiership preview

The Premiership increasingly feels like three separate leagues due to the vast financial disparities...so that's how I'm going to treat it for this season's preview... THE OLD FIRM/GLASGOW DERBY (delete as applicable) TIER  (Finishing outwith the top two, or even less than ten points ahead of third should result in manager and entire squad being hanged, drawn and quartered) CELTIC: they say you should never go back, but for Brendan Rodgers I think an exception can be made. Celtic can be pret

Dodds was a symptom of Caley Thistle's problems - and this is their last chance to fix them

Maybe it was the realisation that Billy Dodds couldn't even beat Raith Rovers that was the end of him. For what it's worth, Caley Thistle only lost to a late goal away from home to a club who went top of the Championship as a result of their victory. And by all accounts the visitors put on their best performance of the season and squandered numerous chances of their own. But Inverness had this absolutely mental record against Rovers where in twenty-three years and thirty-four competitive match

Picking Scotland's Euro 2024 squad

It's still more than six months until Euro 2024, and the draw hasn't even been made yet. So of course it's far, far too early to think about who will be in Steve Clarke's squad for the finals. But I'm not going to let that stop me. Rather than just list twenty-three names (current info suggests that the squad size will be cut back to what it was before Covid and Euro 2020), I'm going to break things down by position and look at what options there are, as well as who is most likely to be on the p

Worst signings of the 2023/24 Premiership season (part 1)

Ah, it's that time of year again. I don't have much time for blogging these days, but I will always try and make an exception for this. The eleven previous 'winners' of our Worst Signing award: 2012/13: Rory Boulding (Kilmarnock) 2013/14: Stephane Bahoken (St. Mirren) 2014/15: Jim Fenlon (Ross County) 2015/16: Rodney Sneijder (Dundee United) 2016/17: Joey Barton (Rangers) 2017/18: Eduardo Herrera (Rangers) 2018/19: Umar Sadiq (Rangers) 2019/20: Madis Vihmann (St. Johnstone) 2020/21: Shane Duff

Worst signings of the 2023/24 Premiership season (part 2)

Here's part 1, the countdown from 25 to 11. And here's the top 10. Who will succeed Anthony Stewart as the 'winner'? 10. RILEY HARBOTTLE (HIBERNIAN)According to Harbottle, he was so strongly encouraged to join Hibs by then-Forest teammate Scott McKenna that McKenna "seemed more excited about it than I was". I wouldn't take advice from him in the future, Riley. Harbottle joined Hibs on a three year deal for "an undisclosed fee", made one league appearance (a defeat at home to Livingston) and di

The seventeenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year (part 1)

How long do I have to keep this going before I can call this an 'annual tradition'? I'm mainly doing it because I've always done it and I'm worried the universe will implode and swallow itself whole if I stop. But I haven't yet reached the point when I can look back and laugh at the fact I included Daniel Majstorovic one year. The previous sixteen vintages, for the record: 2007/08: Allan McGregor (Rangers), Alan Hutton (Rangers), Carlos Cuellar (Rangers), Lee Wilkie (Dundee United), Lee Nayl

The seventeenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year (part 2)

The defence and goalkeeper can be found here. CENTRAL MIDFIELD: MATT O'RILEY (CELTIC), CALLUM MCGREGOR (CELTIC) Honourable mentions: Lyall Cameron (Dundee), Beni Baningime (Heart of Midlothian), Connor Barron (Aberdeen), Mark O'Hara (St. Mirren) I'm cheating a bit here as O'Riley could - should? - be better placed as an attacking midfielder. Anyway, he was damn good and possibly should have won Player Of The Year? McGregor is McGregor, a class above any other deep-lying midfielder in the leagu

2024/25 Scottish League Two preview

In the absence of one clear heavily-bankrolled favourite, trying to predict League Two has been a bit of a mug's game in recent years. Luckily, I happen to be a mug. I work from three tenets here; firstly, a good (or terrible) manager makes a hell of a difference; secondly, good recruitment makes a hell of a difference; and thirdly, the League Cup results are a lousy predictor (Forfar Athletic have burned me too often on this point). I'm not in a position to judge whether the maverick Michael Mc

2024/25 Scottish League One preview

Traditionally, my League One season previews follow a standard pattern: the full-time teams near the top, the well-run part-time teams in the middle and part-time teams that seem one step up from a pub side at the bottom. Except this time around the part-time teams seem to be the professional outfits, whereas the full-time sides...well, let's segue neatly onto the subject of  INVERNESS CALEDONIAN THISTLE, who are back in the seaside leagues for the first time this century, and my God it has be

2024/25 Scottish Championship preview

When was the last time the Scottish Championship felt as open as this? Usually the side(s) that come down have a clear financial advantage that ultimately works in their favour over the course of an entire season, but that isn't the case this time around. And at the other end we can normally pinpoint a part-time side as relegation favourites, but not in 2024/25. Genuinely, there are reasons why fans of every club can dream of a successful season...and perhaps fear a dreadful one. Let's do this

2024/25 Scottish Premiership preview

A friend and I were reminiscing about the good old days the other evening and discussing how old we were when we first got into football. For me, it was the 1990/91 season, as Scotland embarked on their successful Euro 92 qualifying campaign and Aberdeen failed to get the point they needed at Ibrox on the final day to win the title (to this day, an Aberdeen-supporting mate practically spits on the ground at the mention of Michael Watt). That was more than 33 years ago and in that time no-one e

Worst Signings of the 2024/25 Premiership season (part 1)

As Andy Williams once sang, it's the most wonderful time of the year. People wrongly assumed that he was referring to Christmas, but actually he was a big fan of this blog. Honestly. For the thirteenth time, I present my list of the worst signings made by Premiership clubs this season. Here's your reminder of the twelve previous victors : 2012/13: Rory Boulding (Kilmarnock) 2013/14: Stephane Bahoken (St. Mirren) 2014/15: Jim Fenlon (Ross County) 2015/16: Rodney Sneijder (Dundee United) 2016/17

Worst signings of the 2024/25 Premiership season (part 2)

This year's top ten, as promised. Numbers 11 to 25 can be found here. In all the year's I've done this, I've not really had to think much about ranking players in the context of clubs releasing them because of run-ins with the police. How on earth do you quantify that? And is it possible to still think of this exercise as a bit of pointless fun when you're referring to allegations of assaulting a woman, or domestic violence? Hopefully next year I'll be back to just ranking goalkeepers with c

The eighteenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year

I'm getting later at doing this every year, so sorry about that. Still, traditions are traditions. And it's always a fun excuse to look back at the teams from the olden days. I can barely remember when Stephen Hughes was actually a thing... 2007/08: Allan McGregor (Rangers), Alan Hutton (Rangers), Carlos Cuellar (Rangers), Lee Wilkie (Dundee United), Lee Naylor (Celtic), Barry Robson (Celtic), Stephen Hughes (Motherwell), Barry Ferguson (Rangers), Aiden McGeady (Celtic), Scott McDonald (Celtic

2025/26 Scottish League Two preview

Lessons I've learned from the League Two previews I've done in the past (many of which have been extremely, spectacularly wrong): - Do not pay much attention to the League Cup group results. They tend not to be a good indicator of what's coming. - If there is a team that is pretty well bankrolled, put them near the top as they will either romp it or, if they don't, they will sack their manager and/or bring in loads of players in January and then romp it. - The weakest team right now is not actua

2025/26 Scottish League One preview

For my annual League One reviews, I've tended to assume that full-time sides (the ones that are not financial basket-cases) are likely to beat out part-time ones over the course of a whole season. Of course Arbroath put that particular theory to shame last season, but I'm not going to let a small thing like that stop me. Of this season's four full-time League One teams, INVERNESS CALEDONIAN THISTLE are the bookies' favourites but start with a five point deduction courtesy of last season's admi

2025/26 Scottish Premiership preview

Before we get on to anything else, I'd like to point out that I got huge stick last season for predicting Dundee would come tenth. Just saying, like. What do you mean, even a stopped clock is right twice a day? Anyway... In recent years, my Premiership season preview has tended to follow a pattern: first we have The Cheeks Of The Glasgow a***, then we look at the three clubs whose budgets should -but often don't - put them comfortably clear of the rest, and then the other seven who could all pot

You can't take your eyes off the Scottish Championship

I know I keep banging on about it, but the Scottish Championship really is a compelling league. As we enter the final quarter of the season, all ten clubs have something to play for. Inconsistency has been the dominant theme as teams go from periods where everything goes in to ones when they seem to have smashed a mirror over a black cat whilst walking under a ladder, or vice versa. The table is so tight that some teams who were in the promotion playoff hunt a month ago are now looking over the

Is the Championship a ticking time bomb?

It may not have Rangers or Hearts or Hibs in it any more, but the Championship is still a league worthy of plenty of attention. Firstly, there's a title race (no, there isn't one in the Premiership. Rangers being six points behind does not a title race make). Whether Ayr can sustain a challenge is unclear but Ross County are good value for top spot and Dundee United have used their new American money to buy an entire new team in January as they look to pull back the current six point deficit to
  • Scotty

Martin Canning and Hamilton. Being crap is bad enough, but being boring is unforgivable

After Brendan Rodgers told the media that Martin Canning "has done a wonderful job" at Hamilton, one couldn't help thinking of the bit in Return Of The Jedi when Obi-Wan Kenobi tries to convince Luke Skywalker that his claim that his father was dead "was true, from a certain point of view". That point of view is certainly held by Canning's employers. They are quick to point out that this is the fifth consecutive season that Accies have spent in the top flight, no mean feat considering that as r

How to fix Scotland's referee crisis, in several hard steps

Who'd be a referee? The aftermath of the Old Firm game and the treatment of John Beaton - regardless of how you felt about his performance - has not been a proud moment for Scottish football. And it follows on from four months of seemingly endless refereeing controversies and criticisms. According to several managers and clubs, there is a real problem with the standard of officiating. According to the officials, it is harder than ever to do their job right, and they are being given an unfairly

Looking ahead to January

The January transfer window always seems a bit mental. With it being the last decent chance to bring in new players, we often see managers panic and bring in an entire team of players, the footballing equivalent of throwing a ton of stuff at a wall and hoping some of it will stick. There are also inevitably some unexpected arrivals, and some unexpected departures too. So frankly, predicting what will happen is a mug's game. But we're going to do it anyway, because, you know. Let's have a look a
  • Scotty

In defence of Liam Polworth

In the Spring of 2015, I was lucky enough to be on a city break in Barcelona right on time to take in the second leg of Barca's Champions League Quarter Final against Paris St. Germain. You may well remember the home side's opening goal; facing his own goal, midway inside his own half, Andres Iniesta took a pass into feet with a PSG player steaming in to close him down. The crowd collectively took a deep breath, only for Iniesta to spin 180 degrees and leave his opponent for dead. The 80,000 che
  • Scotty

Thoughts on the Israel game

Ladies and gentleman, the James Forrest Show Few players are more frustrating to watch than nippy wingers who are playing badly. Conversely, few excite quite as much as nippy wingers who are in top form and oozing confidence. Step forward James Forrest, who has now scored five goals in two Scotland games - and 11 in 11 games for club and country. There was more than just the hat-trick to savour; his decision-making, so often erratic at best, was perfect again and again as he weaved in and out of
  • Scotty

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