Yompa

Queens Park-Elgin draw @3.50

Plastic Whistle @1.67 please Mr Gringo

Sorry I forgot my homework last week by the way....

I say Colonel, can I have a tenth of a pound of Partick-Dunfermline DRAW @3.50 please.

Crikey, almost forgot to flippin' play!!!

Peterheid @1.44 please, old chap.

Time now 14:46...

Cowdenbeath-Raith draw (quite possibly 2-2) @3.5

Arbroath @1.61'll do me.

Smoaken....

If I may borrow a quote from CapitalCaley (who ain't doing so well, himself)...

Ha! The Colonel's still last!

Forfar for moi @1.61

Berwick @2.25

Berwick @2.25

That's 'em fooked....

For Von Schiehallion...

Partick Fissle

Dear Mr Cameron,

My wife and I started watching Caledonian Thistle (remember there was no Inverness back in those days) in 1995, during the club's second season in the league. Since then, our family (ourseleves and our three boys) have supported the team the length and breadth of Scotland, enjoying (and sometimes enduring) the highs and lows of life on the road as a football supporter. Memories such as being one of the 'Stranraer 2' the night Jim Farry made Inverness return south, just 48 hours after a frozen pitch saw off our cup tie; being one of the 'Berwick 17' the night we got dumped out of the league cup; the 5-1 humping we took at Cappielow on a Friday night before Scotland hosted England the next day in the Euro playoffs; Feb 8th 2000; Caledonian Stadium when (a) we got promotion to the SPL the first time (b) we got relegated; the 7-0 game Somerset Park; the 4-3 game at Livingston... the list just goes on and on... these are the memories that define the very soul of a football supporter. It's not just about the result, it's about how you got there: it's about the journey.

I believe that whatever you achieve in life, you must earn it; indeed the satisfaction to be gained by doing things the hard way, the proper way, far outweigh anything that you can get on the cheap. Ask any Caley Thistle Highland Marcher how it feels when you get to that ground at the other end of the walk...

And so to 'The Rangers Football Club'... this football club has no history for it is a new club. It may have a ground and wonderful training facilities, but it (currently) has no players, and hence no team. I have spent 17 years on the road with Inverness Caledonian Thistle, and here we are, about to welcome our neighbours from over the bridge into the same promised land that we have been part of for so long. Seventeen long years that Highland football has taken to sit at the top table... But now, because it suits the commercial interests of not only the Central Belt majority but the mainstream Scottish media, whose very existence has for so long depended on what was once The Old Firm, we are being force fed the notion that Scottish football needs The Rangers in the SPL. It does not. The Rangers have not earned their right; indeed they have not yet earned their right to any place in the Scottish league. The likes of Spartans and Gala Fairydean have, in my opinion, every bit as much of a right to a place in the league.

So in summary, I would say this: if there is one part of Scotland that should understand how it feels to earn the right to play in the SPL, that place is in the Highlands. There is absolutely NO WAY that The Rangers FC should be granted a place in the SPL without first having earned the right by promotion through the league structure, and in the event that it should happen, then my family will never again return to the Scottish game.

I think you've covered most of it there, Brig; although I must correct you on one important aspect: new players join at the foot of the table, which means, a-hem, that they'll be sitting alongside yourself. What was it yow said about bragging rights and abuse?

Because you are limited to 140 characters on Twatta, you need to be smart with your twats. Here's an example of an acceptable format in an 3 game accumulator:

Man City @2/5 + Brighton @1/2 + Southend @8/13. 10p (34p). Kitty 70p.

All winnings must also be declared. Here's an example:

Man City/Brighton/Southend treble won for 34p. Kitty £1.04.

You can bet on any event, or combination of events, just so long as you can quote the odds from a reputable bookmaker. All of the current players have online accounts on their phones (William Hill is the preferred choice because they allow you to bet in units of less than 10p; Ladbrokes and Bet365 start at 10p).

The game relies on the complete honesty of the players although you will find that we do scrutinise each other's bets and you really don't want to be caught inflating the odds or declaring a false result. Transparency is everything; that's why we ask for the kitty to be declared on every bet and on every win.

One thing I'd add on the "must bet your pound" rule is that in the main, each of us loses money, ie we end up with less than a pound. Sounds daft but it's true. Therefore it's deemed unsporting to place a couple of bets then sit on the other 80p and declare that as your kitty come Sunday night. The spirit of the game is to get in there, punt your pound, then scramble about like mad trying to get back into profit on Sunday evening.

Please declare your final kitty at 9pm (or before if you've declared earlier) on a Sunday night so that we can get the league table sorted. I keep that on a spreadsheet and publish the table on Facebook (Steve Taylor).

The players to follow (currently) on Twatta are CaleyGringo, GringoJnr, CapitalCaley, Zinaad, ba_hm10, moraywanderer, taffytaylor89 and VonSchiehallion. MBeatonio was playing at one point but is currently sidelined.

What I will say is that once you start playing, your Friday's will never be quite the same again. The sense of anticipation and optimism as 6 o'clock approaches is quite addictive. But it doesn't last. Friday night has been the graveyard of many a reckless punt.

For anyone mad enough to want to be there and do it, the Highland March will be passing by Croy station at around 8am on Saturday morning, thereby offering the early burd punter a chance to walk the final 18 or so miles to Hamilton. And, if you haven't previously clocked up any HM miles, you'll also get to call yersel' a Wum for the next twelve months. See The Highland March in Wikipedia for the explanation of that one...

:walking: :walking: :walking: :walking: :walking: :walking: :walking: :walking: :walking:

Don, that's a magnificent post. You should apply to become Tel's Andy Coulson...

However, one question I would ask Doncaster is this:

"Name all of the teams who went into administration trying desperately to cling onto their place at the top ten table the last time this experiment was played out because history suggests it is a failed business model..."

Also...

"I note that you oversaw (as Chief Executive) Norwich City's promotion to the Premier League in 2004/05 but fecked off a few years later when your business model failed and the club was relegated into the third tier of English football. Mr Doncaster, you are a solicitor by trade, so why don't you concentrate on drawing up a meaningful contract with your customers instead of chumming up with your corporate spin doctors."

Counting House Casuals; The Scotrail IPA's chilling on the back step as we speak....

Very sad news.

My favourite memory of Alison, which I'm sure you will remember well, was the night we played I-spy on the steps of Hampden Park hours on end awaiting the verdict of the Partick appeal.

Iain, my thoughts are very much with you and the family.

Steve

I think it's twenty quid at the gate, Brons, unless you fancy turning the clock back six years... Look forward to seeing you cos you helped the HM to become the evnt it is today. Thank you!

Check the match preview on the official Kilmarnock FC site.

They really have done us proud....

http://www.kilmarnockfc.premiumtv.co.uk/pa...1517726,00.html

For anyone who's going to be at the game tomorrow, look out for the mother of all Highland March entrances at an away ground...

Highland March 7, the biggest, highest, longest and most challenging Highland March to date, will leave Rugby Park (in pouring rain allegedly) and head north for home. It's 175 miles with almost 26,000ft of ascent and descent making it the equivalent of a marathon plus Ben Nevis every day for a week. The route this year is an absolute belter:

After the game/through the night/Sunday morning - Kilmarnock to Aberfoyle (50 miles)

Monday - Aberfoyle to Killin via Brig O'Turk and Balquhidder(25 miles - mainly offroad)

Tuesday - Killin to Drumochter via Kinloch Rannoch (30 miles - mainly offroad)

Wednesday - Drumochter to Ruthven Barracks via the Pass Of Glen Tromie (25 miles, offroad)

Thursday - Ruthven Barracks to Slochd Summit (20 miles- mainlky offroad)

Friday - Slochd Summit to Inverness (Falcon Square)

Saturday - EVERYONE to meet in Falcon Square at 11:15am where we will hook up with Spud The Piper. Spud will lead the procession down Academy St, past the Innes and on to the Stadium.

The Marchers this year are Yompa, Gringo Jnr, Gringo (all veterans of many HMs), Slater, Dunco and Wumba. Slater and Dunco are back after HM6 so we must have done something right last year! Slater and Wumba are part of Chumba's team who are doing the inaugural Tartan March in August. The Tartan March is an expedition by five Inverness fans back from Oslo to Hampden between the Norway and Macedonia games. This year's Highland March is a sponsorship-free zone and we are promoting the Tartan March instead.

But back to tomorrow... Kilmarnock have been absolutely brilliant in the build up to the game and there will be two pipers on parade tomorrow, one in a Killie top and one in an Inverness top. What we're expecting to happen is that they'll take up their places in the centre circle at around ten to three, then the marchers, including Chumba and Lady Madonna (both Tartan Marchers) will enter the arena and give it laldy... and see when we get to the away end guys, lets show 'em what this game means to us all!!!

Enjoy the game and here's hoping we get the three points that will keep us up.

:( :crazy07: :boldred:

I'll be there with the nutter formerly known as ITN Micro....

Yow can add a Yompa, two sons and mate of one of 'em. Until tomorrow, this individual will claim to support 'a force of eveil' but I'm gonna lend him Minor's away shirt....

Gonna get the 12 o'clock from Queen St to Falkirk High then yomp into town to find a boozer that'll allow the weans in to see Killie getting humped (again) at lunchtime. I Might try the one on the Main St in where we celebrated the end of Highland March 1. It doesnae matter if it's a mile from there to the ground.... I'll just call it training for HM7.

And for good measure, here's a song for the game.... To the tune of Bread Of Heaven:

Relegation,

Relegation,

Relegation for the Bairns,

Relegation for the Bairns.

repeat until hoarse....

Cap doffed to all taking part . :thumb04: :018:

The Godfather here, Chumba, me old mate....

As I said on the Tartan March site, I applaud your vision, your sense of adventure, your appreciation of the difficulty of organising something on this scale, but above all I applaud your commitment to doing something that you love so dearly.

As you already know, I'm holding back holidays from work this year in order that I can join you for part of the way, and my own sense of adventure says "done Scotland, like the sound of Norway" but we'll just have to see how work pans out nearer the time.

Am I right in thinking, sir, that the participation of Team Chumba in the TM means that your places on HM7 are up for grabs? If yes, then maybe we can tempt a few new marchers to join Colonel Gringo and myself on the march to the great unknown on May 16th.

Respect!

Colonel Yompa

IHE,

Sorry mate, I've been so busy these last few weeks on non-football business, I've missed the action on this issue. However...

As I was sat next to you throughout the first half, I can vouch for your non-provocational behaviour and even though I wimped out of the rainstorm at half time (due to the need to walk to Fort William in the same kit after the game) I viewed your removal as a scurrilous act by those in authority. At no time in the years that we have been aquainted have I ever known you to be an aggressive individual on the terraces and I have to say that if we had more people like yourself at matches, then supporting ICT would be even more enjoyable than it already is.

For what it's worth, I think you are exactly the person we need to champion the rights of the bloke on the terraces at football.

Sir, do not lose the faith!

I bumped into Yogi at Stirling Uni today (ITN Junior was there for an interview) and he still remembers the HMers from the last game at Brockville. Hey, see if we get Falkirk away again, we're in for one big reception.... :004: