hislopsoffsideagain

Oh god, I'm more nervous than a rhinoceros that has just walked into a bar full of ivory dealers during an acute shortage of piano keys. So I am very nervous.

Jeez, its squeaky bum time, ain't it? Come on boys, nick a goal, please!!!!

Hi Robbo, as always it's a pleasure to have your insight available to us. Here's a question for you - who do you think will be relegated from the SPL? Will it be us? And, in light of my username, was it just my imagination that Hissy kept getting caught offside?

I think the phrase to describe today rhymes with "clucking bell". A terrible match between two equally terrible teams. How there were four goals at all is anyone's guess. The first goal looked to all the world like it was miles offside - even Finnigan initially looked like he assumed he was off. The penalty? No idea what it was for, it was down the other end and no Falkirk player was appealing for it. Calum Murray was appalling - every time there was a high ball one of our guys got a shove in the back. Defensively, though, we were a joke. Djebi-Zadi had a mare. I can't remember Grant Munro ever having a worse game. He lost every header to Higdon and his distribution was utterly abysmal. The number of times I saw Mihadjuks sprinting out to wide areas to cover his team mates was astronomical - he is the only one of the back four who doesn't deserve a total kick up the arse. There is certainly a case for Hastings to return to the team - either at left back or centre back. God knows what we were doing in the first half, lobbing high balls at Imrie and Rooney. Blackie barely got a kick in the first 45 because the ball kept being punted over his head. Proctor kept wandering in field and we had about as much width as Kate Moss. Only in the second period did we finally start putting into the channels and getting Foran in the box. Until the second goal, you would have said we were well on top. In conclusion, a complete, unmitigated disaster. And in front of a phenomenal away support as well.

Just back from the Steve Conroy show. This joke of a referee actually managed to outdo Mike McCurry in terms of farcical decisions. He lost control from the word go, and gave the impression that the only way to concede a free kick was to commit grievous bodily harm. As a consequence our guys were getting bumped and whacked all over the shop; Steven Pressley had his hands on our players so often you could have put him on the Sex Offenders Register. Not only that, but he managed to come to the conclusion that Barr's headbutt (it looked pretty damn blatant even from 50 yards away) was only worth a yellow card, and that exaggerating being head butted (I think if you get butted you are entitled to make a meal of it) was also worth a yellow for Duncan. Most Scottish officials are to football what Fred Goodwin is to banking. Ironically, the only decision he got right all day was the penalty - completely blatant and completely pointless. LDZ was in tears coming off, and he gets no sympathy from me at all because it was utterly, utterly stupid. Despite being 10 v 12 we battled to a man in the second half, but we just couldn't get the rub of the green. Their keeper made a stunning stop from Foran late on, matched only by the save he made from Rossco in the first half. Frustrating, frustrating, frustrating. Apparently Gordon Smith was at the game today; surely the referee's performance will not have passed him by? Certainly if we continue to get officials like Conroy and McCurry I am going to end up with one hell of a case of laryngitis...

Just back. That was just an incredibly frustrating afternoon. We weren't particularly great, but neither were Motherwell, and we lost because of two blunders best described as catastrophic. What Esson was doing at the first goal was a mystery to me, while Granty, who played the guy onside for the opener and in general had a complete shocker of a game, made an error for the second so farcical that it looked like a moment from a Keystone Cops movie. That was a bad game to lose. As for the referee, well, to borrow a quote from Spike Milligan, the best I can wish Mike McCurry is an early death. As soon as the crowd got on his back it just appeared to antagonise him to make yet more horrific decisions against us. You'd think that he would be instinctively giving the dodgy decisions to the team in blue, given his past record.

If we hold on this is surely the best result of the season.

Just back. It's a long time since a home game has been as exciting as that! A lot of tired legs at the end and we were hanging on a bit, but a phenomenal effort and we deserved that point. TB called it spot on tactically for me, though Proc should have been protecting Rossco more against McGeady. Foran looks a good find even if he was half a yard short of fitness. Imrie will sleep well tonight after putting in one heck of a shift. Even Djebi-Zadi had a decent game, bullying Naka out of it and only looking vulnerable when Robson went wide. Still can't be having with Barrowman though, he appeared to take one look at McManus and soiled his shorts with fear. Star man for me today was Mihadjuks. We need to sign him sharpish, he was absolutely colossal at the back. The great escape begins!

That's me decided, I have now ordered a Latvia flag which hopefully will arrive in time for the Celtic game. Mihadjuks is the man! Not sure if the flag would be big enough to fit his surname on it though...

Just seen the first Hearts goal on BBC Alba. On what planet is that not a foul on the keeper?! Obua isn't even looking at the ball, he's just jumped into Esson. When you're down, the breaks always seem to go against you...

I'll second that. He did a great job in his first spell, no doubt about it. I don't doubt for his second that he gave it his best efforts and he deserves respect for that.

You wait so long for a moment like this, then, when it comes, you don't know what to say... My tears of joy probably speak louder than any words could! Seriously though, all the best to CB, though I don't feel he was good enough for this post. He's now lost his job, though, and you have to feel very sorry for anyone in those circumstances. According to one of my mates (who supports Dunfermline), it's the "most deserved sacking since Nick Leeson".

The match report in the Sunday Times runs with the headline "BREWSTER ON BRINK". Reading it, it's quite clear that there is a lot of agreement with the comments of those at the game...the rest of Scotland is now well aware of our plight as well. Selected quotes below... "It is the worst run in the club's history" "What the Inverness board must weigh up is whether Brewster has it in him to make them any better" "The same men who will decide Brewster's future yesterday laid on complimentary buses...the Highland crowd responded, filling a respectable 500-odd seats. Initially at least, they also took up their benefactors up on the unwritten part of the agreement, leaving the widespread dissent at Brewster's continued presence in the dugout unaired until late in the second half" "While the home side were undone by the lack of a final ball, Inverness for the most part would have been grateful to get even that far...an utter fecklessness in the final third is now a defining characteristic" "Brewster removed the ineffectual Andy Barrowman and sent on Garry Wood, another willing customer patently not up to leading a Premier League frontline yet. It is strange the same thought did not occur to Brewster when Marius Niculae, Graham Bayne and Dennis Wyness left last summer" "'We know we need to score goals', said Brewster, who will attempt to sign another striker in the next two weeks. He needs to come up with something, anything, to stop them being his last in the job"

That last comment is the latest in a series of contenders from Brewster for the "stating the blatantly obvious" award. For the love of Pete, if a team finds it difficult to score, surely the solution is to use more attackers?

So far, the poll does not appear to be going in Brew's favour - and rather more than 20 folk don't like him. Right now he appears to be about as popular as influenza...

I can't believe that he has such poor PR ability that he has done this. He even comments on how sacking a manager involves paying them off - which suggests, between the lines, a whiff of "I'm not resigning, I want my money if I leave". As for the 20 fans comment, it suggests a man who is living in an alternate reality. If the man showed some sort of humility, some acknowledgement that he has made errors, then fine. But there is no sign of any willingness to take responsibility. Is Craig Brewster the footballing equivalent of George Bush? Or are we "mis-underestimating" him?

"The, ah, players just weren't, er, up for it today" "We've got to stick together, um, we've got to dig in and results will come" "La la la, I'm not listening" (this one while with fingers in ears and eyes closed)

Add me Already makes 17 on this thread, I think

Catastrophe. Disaster. Fiasco. Shambles. All words that do not do justice to today's result, today's tactics, and our season in general so far. What the hell does Brewster have to do to get chucked? Commit a murder? We are tumbling faster than the stock market.

Just got home, I still can't feel my legs! I think you can call us hardy souls hardcore! We were freezing our backsides off with nothing much to cheer for the last half hour, however at least for a change this was because we were coasting to a win rather than a defeat. I would firstly like to eat a slice of humble pie after my comments about the signing of Filipe Morais. One swallow does not make a summer, but considering he still looks a yard or two off full match sharpness, he played a blinder today. Brew gave him a free role in what appeared to be a 4-4-1-1 formation, and Partick found him a nightmare to pick up. He covered a heck of a lot of ground, pressed defenders, chased lost causes, and had an eye for a pass too. His goals were complete contrasts - the first a shot from distance which didn't appear to have a lot of venom, but which ended up presumably skidding off the wet surface and found itself in the bottom corner, the other coming off a long punt and a flick by Barrowman, where he held off a couple of defenders and bundled it past the keeper. A very promising debut indeed. The other goal was the pick of the bunch. It was nice to see us score at the start of a second half, rather than concede! Some brilliant one touch football culminated in Cowie playing Vigurs in, and the young lad put his left boot right through it and stuck it in the top corner. An absolutely fabulous goal, honestly. We had other chances, and though we took our foot off the gas late on, Partick didn't offer too much. Ike kept himself warm with a couple of good stops. Mihadjuks strolled through the game. I don't how he will fair against SPL strikers, but he looked comfortable in the air and his positioning was impeccable throughout. I was very impressed indeed. The rest? Plenty solid if unspectacular performances. Barrowman again showed his link play has improved, though he missed a gilt-edged opportunity early on and still looks like he couldn't find the goal if he had some sat-nav. As I say, Partick were really disappointing, so I suspect we will need to move up a gear against Hamilton next week. It's a great boost for the confidence though. As a postscript, there will be a fair few mentions of Djebi-Zadi's performance I think. He just had to be hooked at half-time, he was so out of his depth. I feel for the guy, who looked nervous and lacking in confidence, but he is absolutely not good enough for this level and I doubt we will see him in an ICT shirt again.

Not impressed in the slightest. Morais is all pace but from what I've seen has nothing else to offer. We all know perfectly well that he is a diver as well. I daresay that his off the field activities are nothing to do with his ability to play football but I'm not overly impressed about that either. (I will climb off my moral high horse now!) Gatheussi will fit perfectly well into our calamity-prone defence. These guys are so far off the first team radar at Easter Road that they might as well play for Hearts. I can't help feeling we should be more ambitious than picking up rejects from a club who are no better than midtable in this league.

Here's a few... Don Cowie - More Life In A Tramp's Vest (Stereophonics) - apt summary of his performances this season Andy Barrowman - You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet (Bachman Turner Overdrive) - because we haven't - or Money For Nothing (Dire Straits) - because that's what he's getting Craig Brewster - Losing Grip (Avril Lavigne) - nuff said Ian Black - Disillusion (Badly Drawn Boy) - ditto Malky Thomson - God Only Knows (The Beach Boys) - a reference to how his mind works David Proctor - Help! (The Beatles) - he could do with some Ross Tokely - Get Back (The Beatles) - as he keeps getting caught up field Phil McGuire - Trouble (Coldplay) - he causes so much Russell Duncan - Pass It On (The Coral) - if only he would give it to his teammates rather than the opposition Roy McBain - Live In A Hiding Place (Idlewild) - a summary of most of his performances Richard Hastings - Bad (Michael Jackson) Can't think of one for Dougie Imrie right now though

I was at the game, mate, just how I saw it, that's all.

Credit where credit's due today. The first 45 minutes were exactly what I look for from my team - commitment, energy, passion. Rangers didn't turn up in the first half, but we were absolutely excellent - McBain did a remarkable job playing wide right, Barrowman showed some fight and guts, and our midfield in general were everywhere. The home support gave our boys a standing ovation at half time, which was well deserved and you could see the players appreciated it. Unfortunately, we appear to be cursed to shed goals at the start of the second half. Mendes' finish was out of this world, make no mistake. But again it looked like rohypnol had been planted in the half time tea. Rossco went to pieces in the second half, though it appeared he had strained a stomach muscle when he was subbed so that might explain it. But as soon as the first goal went in we looked panicky and rudderless again. Substituting Black was a baffling decision, not any easier explained by the fact that Imrie contributed zero. ANd ultimately we got caught on the break for the second goal, and by the strangest free kick decision ever (should have been ours, then they took the free kick from the wrong place when the ref wasn't looking) for the third. Ultimately, Brew's stock has not risen or fallen today. But once more we have shown that we are capable of playing quality football against good opposition, only to cause our own downfall with individual errors and our lack of heart when we fall behind. Today, in conclusion, was a crying shame.

Can we not start charging them for our quotations - I should be making a packet out of how often they quote me! Shame they never run any of my extended metaphors...