Caley Thistle go into this week's game at Tannadice hoping that a killer touch can be added to improving performances that saw the CaleyJags take all three points against Kilmarnock and a share of the points against Hearts in the last two games.

The Hearts game was especially frustrating as they were there for the taking, but that's football for you ....

This week's preview comes from the pen of regular contributor Davie and he somehow manages to bring back William McGonagall, an old photo of Maurice Malpas and his uncle Harry ! Over to you Davie......

The trouble with ghosts seems to be that they always come back to haunt you. I’ve no real objection to that – it’s their job. It fair perturbs yer equilibrium though, when they turn up mob handed, which was why I felt decidedly perturbed when I spotted Sir William Topaz etc. and my uncle Harry at the end of my bed. I jumped.

“Davie, how are ye?” said the bard, “It’s that time o’ year again” That explained both of their retro adidas Dundee United tops. I’d never seen Harry in one of them or outside the snug on a setterday, and said so. “What are ye doin wi him?” I enquired. “I’m tryin tae understand that boy o’ mine – I wiz never intae football and he’s a ragin Arab. Could he no play snooker or something? It’s weird.” No quite as weird as livin’ in Kirkcaldy on a voluntary basis, I thought. McGonagall looked bored. “What’s happened to your team? There’s none o’ them left”

I gave him the standard explanation. Some of them were getting’ on a bit. They left. Some wanted more money, they left. Some girned too much, they left. We brought others in to replace them, younger and better but they got injured. So we had to improvise, and we have. Terry Butcher says that we are getting there, after all we have some new guys you won’t know about:

David Davis – no relation to Dickie Davis, came from Wolves. Good debut last week.

Aiden Chippendale – winger, he can “outstrip” any Arab on the park.

Gregory Tade – forward, once described as having five lungs, two hearts and no brain. Has danced in the streets of Raith and started scoring.

Greg Tansey – Liverpudlian bloke with his own two man fan club (I met them on a bus)

Roman Golobart - Plays a bit like yer Davie Narey used to when your team wore those jerseys; he’s prone to the odd faux pas, so probably now terrified of guys called Terry or Mo.

They should all play on Saturday, and there are more of them, but we’ll leave them for another preview. “That’s a bigger change than when your old man went on the wagon” said Uncle Harry, when Wullie butted in. “Did you say Chippendale? When did you start signing the ungodly and unclothed”? I sighed, I should have known this would come from a man who tried to moralise Dundee and unsurprisingly failed. Harry just lit up another fag.

United are in the same boat really, said the bard. Gomis gone, Bauben gone, Goodwillie gone, Russell out, Severin out. It’s a sorry tale, but needs must and so must John Rankin.

Both sides are anchored at the wrong end of the table, with one point separating them and something has to give on Saturday. Matches between the two sides are traditionally close (apart from those in any way involving Craig Brewster) and Saturday shows every sign of being the same.

“What’s aboot yon stripper you’ve signed then?” said Harry. I sighed again, and the Bard looked as if he was about to wade in. “We’re a family club” I said:

“And, in conclusion, I will say without dismay,

Visit the jaggies without delay,

Because the football is a school of morality,

And hasn't the least tendency to lead to prodigality”.

“Have I heard that before?” said McGonagall. “Probably”, I replied, somewhere around 1884.