Jump to content

Mrs Pauliebee

03: Full Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    1,024

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Mrs Pauliebee

    Wash Cloth

    in General Nonsense

    Posted

    The Washcloth

    I was due for an appointment with the gynaecologist later in the

    week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to

    tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had

    only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already

    around 8:45am.

    The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any

    time to spare.

    As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over

    hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to

    make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet

    the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in

    'that area' to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth

    in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced

    to my appointment.

    I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was

    called in.

    Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the

    table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended

    that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised

    when the doctor said,

    "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I

    didn't respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief

    and went home. The rest of the day was normal ... some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc.

    After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called

    out from the bathroom,.

    "Mummy, where's my washcloth?"

    I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

    She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it

    had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

    Michael Shields

    in General Football

    Posted

    Well, they've reduced his sentence to 10 years (from 15), still the government are

    hardly getting off their erses to help him!

    Maybe they are waiting until closer to the election - suspicious me, never!

    Modern Day Lovestory

    in General Nonsense

    Posted

    A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves

    assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

    Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,

    they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

    At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but

    Would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

    "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

    "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own f*cking blanket."

    After a moment of silence, he farted.

    Scotland Squad announced

    in General Football

    Posted

    What major tournamnt is this team taking part in? :lol:

    Scoff all you like Jnr - we'll be back in a tournament before Wembley is finished, that's fer **** sure!

    And when it is....we'll beat you again.....or have you erased the closing games at old Wembley from your mind!

    What a farce - who's in charge of Construction - Paddy & Murphy!

    I passed in on the train yesterday - all it'll take is a footie and Beastie will have that stupid ring thing ripped down in a jiffy!

    if you won the lottery you would

    in General Nonsense

    Posted

    What a good question........

    Stick the two V's straight up to my bosses, and jump on the next plane to Sneck.

    I'd buy a gorgeous house for my Mum & take her to Graceland.

    Build a house for us, then take a massive world tour whilst it's been built.

    Pump money into Caley.

    Buy us Henry and make him come to TCS instead of Barca! :lol:

    Offer to sponsor the Scottish National Squad with a very hefty queue - on the condition that

    David Taylor gets to feck.

    Then I'd pump money into building facilties for our youngsters, and sit back and watch

    as our superb new Team prompty dumps the Sassa's out in the first round!

    Well I can dream eh!

    Proof / Eminem

    in General Nonsense

    Posted

    However hard they try, hip hop just can't seem to escape from extreme violence and shootings.

    I remember watching MTV when Biggie & Tupac were shoot.

    The Furore after that was massive, everyone came together to try and stop it happening again!

    What a waste.

    World Cup Songs

    in General Football

    Posted

    You can stick yer feckin Chariots up yer erse,

    You can stick yer feckin Chariots up yer erse,

    You can stick yer feckin Chariots, stick yer feckin Chariots,

    Stick yer feckin Chariots up yer erse...

    SIDEWAYS :cheers: ......SIDEWAYS :cheers:.............SIDEWAYS :cheers:

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. : Terms of Use : Guidelines : Privacy Policy