Johnboy

Nawwww.... It wisnae cried Google.... it wuz cried Boaby...... You couldnae hit a coo's erse wi a banjo.... couldya..??

So where the hel have you been..?? Hope you are gonna try & raise the falling standards..... I have about as much confidence in this site as I have in Tony Blair & his government.......

you can remember what Minnie Caldwell's cat was called.....

Terrific performance tonight...... Pity that booking Kenny Miller picked up against the Faroes is going to come back & haunt him, thanks to his booking tonight...... He'll now be suspended for the game against France..... Blo0dy daft to get booked when your team's 4 goals up.......

Dangerous..... :009:

Well, with your connections, Father Ted, I'm quite sure God WILL help us...... :004:

A'll third that..... :003: Cannot believe some of these posts on here....... :010:

A'hm wondering what age does a Jambo's kids have to be before they are considered capable of going anywhere without mummy & daddy..?? Into their thirties, maybe.....?? Is this something peculiar to that area...?? :006: :006:

Racaille_Verte : I doubt very much if the manager, or your friend the owner of Diggers, would be very well pleased with your comments here in suggesting a suitable alternative pub for our supporters.... Diggers has long been a favourite Embra watering hole of mine.... and not just on match days.... Should I stop going in there now lest I offend one of the regulars who likes to take his kids (aged 24 & 28) to the family room..... What would you say to the doorman who was directing our fans to the family room?

What do you keep coming on here for then....?? Surely it can't just be to annoy me..?? :012:

That's wot stingrays do I suppose...... :009:

Gonner.... Gonera.... Gonnerra GONORRHOEA......

Guess you must be an old jambo, Jake... Either that or you are being unintentionally thoughtless...!!!

Brothel.....

Jake : Are you trying to wind us all up again? KingKojack's response was most appropriate.... The Jambo should have addressed his complaint to the Diggers staff/management. and..... "I agree with Mantis....." :002: :002:

Wildlife....

The Peter Pan of Scottish football........ :003: :003:

Courier...

Junkies...

Yeah - I'm worried about Mee..... maybe she's been abducted and forced into an arranged marriage. Immortal Howden Ender has been conspicuous by his absence too... They have some weird customs down there in Chorley.... :017: :010:

I am just a very appreciative audience, Johnboy and story telling is not one of my strong points. Yes I see what you mean.... Still at least you made an effort..... One here from the US....... LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT...... District Attorney : Will you please state your age? Little old lady : I'm 86 years old.... D.A. Tell us, in your own words what happened on the night of April 1st? Little old lady : Well I was sitting in my swing on my front porch, when a young man came up and sat down beside me. D.A. : Did you know him? Little old lady : No, but he sure seemed friendly.... D.A. : What happened after he sat down? Little old lady : He started to rub my thigh.... D.A. : Did you try & stop him? Little old lady : No... D.A. : Why not? Little old lady : It felt good... Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.... D.A. : What happened next? Little old lady : He began to rub my breasts.... D.A. : Did you try & stop him then? Little old lady : No... D.A. : Why not? Little old lady : It made me feel alive & excited... hadn't felt that good in years... D.A. : What happened next? Little old lady : Well, I was feeling all spicy... I just lay down and told him "take me, young man, take me" D.A. : And did he take you? Little old lady : **** no... He just yelled "April Fool" at me.... And that's when I shot him, the little b'stard....

After all we have just won the race to sign Gary McSwegan :006: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015:

That's exactly what McSwegan's saying in that Daily Retard interview....

Rodent...

Absent friend : You set up this topic... Would it be too much to expect you to post a joke on it..??