broomie boy

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About broomie boy

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    edinburgh

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  1. broomie boy

    Jokes

    A guy took his wife to the disco for their 25th anniversary. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it laldy, break dancing, moon walking and lots of back flips. The wife says "See that guy there, he proposed to me just before you did, obviously I turned him down". Husband says "looks like he's still celebrating". My wife wanted me to put my referees kit on and have sex with her. She screamed and moaned to the biggest climax I have ever known her have in 20 years... So I gave her a yellow card for simulation
  2. broomie boy

    Jokes

    My grandad went down in history... and on one occasion fingered a girl in geography. Paddy was on his death bed and knew the end was near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast. He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes. When all is ready he begins to speak: "My son Seamus, I want you to take the houses in Cultra." "My daughter Geraldine , you take the apartments over in Malone Road." "My son Patrick Junior, I want you to take the offices in the City centre." "Bridget, my dear wife, please take all the residential properties on the Upper Lisburn Road ." The nurse and witnesses are blown away. They did not realize the extent of Paddy's wealth. As he slips away, the nurse says to his wife, "Mrs. O'Shaughnessy, my deepest condolences. Your husband must have been such a hard-working and wonderful man to have accumulated all this property".. "Property?”, his wife replies. “The git had a window cleaning round."
  3. broomie boy

    Jokes

    An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the old man and asks him old he is? "I'm 90 years old,' he says "90!" Replies the woman. "Don't you realise you've had it?" 'Oh, sorry' says the old man, 'how much do I owe you? Sign in pet shop window.............'Clitoris licking frog' Woman walks into shop.............man behind counter says..........'Bonjour madam'
  4. An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2am and is asked where is he going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replies, “That would be my wife.” In a small church somewhere in the Highlands, the minister had an idea to increase the collection. He said the person who contributed most could choose three hymns. When the plate came back he saw a roll of £20s. "Who gave this," he asked. "Me," said this little old spinster at the back. "OK, Minnie McHaggis, what three hymns would you like?" the minister asked. So, Minnie came to the front of the church and started pointing: "Him, and him, and him..."