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Johnboy

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Everything posted by Johnboy

  1. of cucumber
  2. on Johnboy's
  3. up
  4. gulping eagerly
  5. Reported on teletext tonight Brew looks set to sign for Killie.... I still say we could have done with someone with his skills, if even just for the rest of this season.... :020:
  6. cream
  7. well endowed
  8. Too right I have, Gabby mate....!! :023: Some more from "Down Under" The Cork Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Melbourne , when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his ***. If you do not mind me saying," stated the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?" I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my ***." "I do not understand," said the other. The first Arab says, "I was walking along Russell Street And I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in Australian Flag attire with a white beard and Akubra hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Captain Ozzie, the Genie. I can grant you one wish." I said, "No sh1t?" God Bless Australia
  9. Johnboy

    Aw Ma Paw

    Was it a Buckfast bottle Bob? Tell your master to think about pet insurance..... :024:
  10. beyond
  11. shouting loudly
  12. therapeutic
  13. with laryngitis
  14. Not even till the end of this season? There would be a good chance of him, not only scoring a few goals, but setting up a few more for Dargo.... Could be crucial by the end of the season.... :018:
  15. sex~worker
  16. I'm reliably informed (seriously, not like IHE!) that he is considering offers from two SPL sides, and one Div1 side....
  17. hopped it
  18. poor~substitute
  19. They've probably found better things to do with their lives....unlike you & me... :024:
  20. Quote Alex : Look at the fixture list properly and you'll see there are 4 games in eight days. Dunfermline away 23rd. Rangers home 27th, falkirk away 30th, St Mirren home 1st. Then five days later its away to Stirling. Ok then, include the pars game....12 points from that will certainly help our league position.... :003:
  21. He should be seeing the finest private consultant in the world, given what I've handed over the turnstyles this season and last season... :006:
  22. thanks~to~you~no
  23. You're still at school and you are likely still to be drunk on the afternoon of New Years Day....? :024: What is the youth of today coming to..? :018:
  24. Rangers at home on the 27th, Falkirk away on the 30th, and St Mirren at home on the 1st.... Nine points from that will certainly help our league position.....!! :022: :023: :022:
  25. Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled. Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've gone an' bloody suctioned m'self to the floor" she said. "Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck like bloody superglue, woman. I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate). They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it, have ta go with Plan B," Cobba said. "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What's that"? "I'll go get my hammer and chisel outta the ute and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba "Spot on, you're a legend," Bruce said "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits." "Play with her tits"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?" "No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive".
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