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This is a true headline. See http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/t...age/5032688.stm. What is the best football headline you have seen apart from 'Supercaleygoballisticcelticareatrocious'?

Euro-cup fate of “Neftchi” to be defined after final Cup of Azerbaijan Source: Trend Author: Z.Safarov As some leagues reach their climax, can anyone understand this potential option? 31.05.2006 The opportunity of “Neftchi” to participate in the Cup of UEFA will depend on the result of the final Cup of the country between “Karvan” and “Karabakh, which will be held on June 3 in the stadium named after T.Bahramov. As a result of the national championship, “Neftchi” has taken the third place, which gives it an opportunity to participate in Cup of Intertoto. However, guardship of Agasalim Mirjavadov keeps the chances to play in the European club tournament if “Karvan” gain the victory over Agdam team in the decisive match. In this case, the team of Yavlakh that gained sliver medal and the opportunity to play in the international arena will, as the holder of the country Cup, go to the Cup of UEFA.

In an effort to boost slow-moving season ticket sales, Dundee United chairman Eddie Thompson has personally written to every registered Tannadice supporter (writes John Brown). “That’s why it is not unreasonable to expect Dundee United to finish in the top six.” Eddie has put around £4 million into the club since acquiring his 82 per cent. stake from former chairman Jim McLean, and failure to get into the top six last term cost United upwards of £500,000. Speaking from Spain today, where he is enjoying a few days’ break, he said, “I never expected my investment to yield any dividend, but I did expect results on the pitch — and that hasn’t happened. “Rightly or wrongly, I stood by previous managers. “These managers brought in established players, but those players did not perform for us, for whatever reason.” Several players, including David Fernandez, Derek McInnes, Grant Brebner and Jim McIntyre, have been told they are surplus to requirements at Tannadice, and the chairman insists they won’t be leaving with a big pay-off. Clearly Dundee United is a club going places. Clearly Brew could be going places!!!

If Brew doesn't shut up in his Largs base with Charlie, Malky MacKay etc we should start the reverse psychology speculating on Dundee United players joining ICT. A chance for the Inverness Courier to start a counter rumour. Barry Robson anyone? Come to think of it there's no one there good enough to get into our first team.

One new stand for Procter, plus covered seating for the wings and a new super dooper lounge with free beer for 10 years for season ticket holders for Black.

Inverness doesn't quite realise the privilege it has to host SPL football. Mark Brown is one of many very talented players who have helped put the city on the world map. This award is richly deserved. Hopefully for Mark he will make the breakthrough to international level sooner rather than later.

There are still associations to select clubs e.g. Romania, Slovenia, Azerbaijan - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UEFA_Intertoto_Cup_2006

So where did they go wrong? One minute they were appointing a Business Consultant who played a bit of football, then the club with Intelligent Finance said get rid of Gough and go for Lambert. It took 12 straight defeats for him to realise there was a problem. Robbo came in and said we must start winning soon. Who do you blame and why?

This is looking pessimistic unless Azerbijan mess up the paperwork. There aren't many chances left as far as I can see. However, in the absence of a close season legal challenge for the SPL maybe there is still some drama to come.

We seem to be clutching at straws. Odense do look as though they are in the Intertoto. We may have to wait for the Azerbijan nomination unless someone knows that one already. There are a few cup finals today so something might go our way but I am not optimistic at present.

Donald Park scored against Hamburg in the Cup Winners Cup for Hearts.

Richard Hastings has scored in the Champions League for his Austrian club.

It's quite interesting to list those at our club who have hit the net in European matches.

Very competent. Prior to this he had 45 minutes or so at Pittodrie against Dunfermline where he rode his luck. Well that's Mark's record for consecutive appearances gone.

The need for first class pre-season training is important. For years we were slow starters. However, the last time fans called for Brewster's return they got 1 win in 14 and saw their team taken apart bit by bit as the Chosen One imposed his personality on the club from a footballing city.

Totally agree with Kindablue. We do not need a wee midfield player. He would not fit our style methinks. Sell him to Dundee United.

Quite a brilliant record. Now we need to put the record straight against Falkirk this week because they did give us a good beating earlier in the year. It would be nice if Dargo hit 20 goals in that game because that might be a record that stands for some time too.

If Dundee United lose their last two games, they could finish second bottom. They would find it hard to get out of the blocks next year with a new team and a Manager desperate to play on. It has to be them.

Last week Brewster suffered the curse. This week Robbo. He probably felt Cocky when hids Ross County beat ICT in the pre-season friendsly but it's apt that Barry should formally sink Livvy after they tempted him with big cash and then spat him out. Funny 'ole game!

Whilst we have moved up the leagues, lets not forget East Stirling at home attracted less famous people to our wee stadium. However, SPL status brings big teams and big names so perhaps we need a Celebrity Spotters Section. We have certainly entertained Mr Romanov, we know Gordon Ramsay ate at least one pie (it looked like more in the London Marathon), Tony Blair has walked the turf, while Europen Cup winners like Paul Lambert have graced the pitch and dugout as his downward career followed that of Craig Brewster. World Cup winner Juninho has looked out from the tunnel into the Graet Glenn.

The worst against was Gus MacPherson's last seconds equaliser in the SFA Cup for Kilmarnock after Robson had hit an apparent stunning winner in the 90th minute. A case of don't celebrate until the referee blows the whistle. A bit like Partick this year really.

I agree entirely with Mee's perception. Rossco was slapped right in front of Brewster but in defence of the referee, these incidents are all too common and men being men, waving a handbag should result in a yellow. The recipients all too ofter fall about dramatically e.g. Lennon. Samuel was diving very skilfully. Was Dargo's shot into the wind which ballooned back to Mark a passback? Mark thought so. Clearly the Dundee United one was too. Any way, for his first game, well done. Refereeing must be pretty thankless because at half time and full time you normally get dogs abuse and booing. Few of us get that at work each week.

Brewster's face was priceless. The script was perfect. Manager signs player who he describes as 'will be quality'.Fans suspicious. Player becomes quality. Manager vindicated. Manager and laughing boy Thompson head for Millionaires Row, Tannadice-shire. Player and friends stab backstabber in the last 30 seconds. Laughing boy stops laughing. Rossco and Keogh crack joke but Brewster and Thompson don't see funny side. Manager stays in Inverness overnight for comfort stop and sympathy. Then heads back to Tannadice to save playing and managerial career using Grocer's diminishing funds. Looks down to Capital City for spiritual guidance and can only see fellow ex-ICT Manager drowning sorrows in a rant about officials costing Livvy £1m. Text message sent to Pele expressing disappointment at his not getting Ross County job. IHE offers support group counselling!!!

Denzil was injured last week. The conditions were difficult for every player today so Denzil was no different yet he almost won the game late on. Jackson is injured and on critches. It would have been inappropriate to send him on today with crutches. Get real and become true supporters.

One win in 13. Thank goodness we pocketed £250,000 when we did or else we might be half a million worse off by now.