Charles Bannerman

So yet another anti- English -Westminster -Tories - "anyone else their delusions tell them has got it in for Scotland" rant, typically Tolstoyesque in length, whose content does nothing more than show that separatist policy hasn't progressed a jot from its three word simplistic SNP sloganising of the mid 70s - It's Scotland's Oil, delivered whilst wallowing in an ocean of self pity and simmering resentment about what poor miserable exploited Jocks we are at the hands of the b*****d English and Westminster As this referendum approaches it's actually interesting to see the rising Anglophobia on the part of the yessers. Oddquine, if oil is all that blooming important, you're going to need a Plan B for that as well as for currency because, despite some variation in estimates of its longevity, this is a very short term resource compared with a country's history. If independence is forever and not just for Christmas (which it is), you are pinning your hopes on a single resource which will be gone by New Year's day or at least by the January sales. People are not going to be fooled by pie in the sky, land of milk and honey promises based on a single resource of highly volatile value which won't even be there to bail out their grandchildren or great grandchildren. If you make a mistake in a general election you can vote the other way in five years time. There is no such safeguard on September 18th. The willingness of the separatists to let people hear what they want in the hope that they'll believe it just long enough to get them to vote irreversibly yes is quite breathtaking.

Scarlet... please don't be concerned on my account. I actually take the post and the expression in question as welcome indications that I continue to annoy the Separatist lobby which has been opne of my life's missions since my youth. And hey! Do you not think the term "drivel", by the normal standard of nationalist Yah-boo politics, is in reality getting quite close to the top of the pile? Indeed the said "derogatory" post put almost as big a smile on my face as this piece of news from the heartland of our oil industry.... http://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/Article.aspx/3587342 PS ... Oddquine, should somebody not be telling Derek Bateman that he needs to get out a bit more?

Is this you talking about yourself again IHE?

You forgot the bawbee! Indeed I did. 2 bawbees = 1 Swinney. (The One Swinney coin will, by the way, have inscribed on its reverse that immortal Swinneyism of the 1990s - Ah stan' fur Scoa'lan'.) I have to say, though, that this referendum campaign HAS changed my view of the entire question. Steady!!! Let me explain. When this whole referendum business kicked off back in the mists of time my viewpoint was principally philosophical and influenced by my lifelong belief in Britain, plus the strong need for Scotland to remain part of Britain. One comment I used to hear, even from no voters, was that Scotland probably could manage reasonably well on its own, which I was actually prepared to accept - but at no compromise to my strong "Better Together" view. However the more I hear from the yes side, the more it emerges that a lot of what they claim seems to depend on naive belief that the rest of the UK will just dance to their tune. And the more their claims are exposed as vacuous hot air, the clearer it becomes that a separate Scotland would struggle for viability on a number of counts and suffer from extreme long term uncertainties on others. As a result, in the face of what is being increasingly exposed as a threadbare separatist case, the tendency has to be to take this whole saga less and less seriously and instead have a bit of a laugh at the whole longwinded process. In fact maybe the biggest service I could do for the No campaign would be to sign up undercover as a Yes Scotland canvasser and get round as many doors as I can simply making sure that people know what YS are claiming!

A vulnerability seriously further compounded by the unpredictability of the price of the vanishing "one trick pony" asset of oil - which, unlike the pound, Salmond clearly isn't keen on sharing in any meaningful way apart from drawing a line which gets Scotland every last drop it can grab. I could see the government of a separate Scotland spending most of their lives on the toilet, totally bricking it about the next set of oil prices, balance of trade figures and statement of the value of the feebly supported Eck (*) on the international money market. (*) 12 Swinneys = 1 Groat, 20 Groats = 1 Eck

Well you started it.... you invaded Poland

You mean like they or the police let people going to Ness Bank Church park anywhere they like along the Haugh or the Riverside on a Sunday morning, the only difference being that this obstructs traffic while parking on the verge at the stadium doesn't? 12th man - the OPINION that people can park on private property when they like and at the same time also deprive the owners of that property of the right to operate it as they choose, such as by closing gates, is nonsense!

Jeezis OQ... I thought some of my posts were kind of long but that's over 1500 words. So was it actually you who wrote the 670 page Toom Tome in your spare time?

So even doing a poll at the SNP conference you can only muster 87% support for separation? And that's an interesting observation made by Yngwie in #501. The SNP seem not only to want to separate, but for everyone else to agree to do so on their terms. And if everybody else doesn't, then that's "bullying" - which is an interesting term coming from an organisation which controls its own elected members with totalitarian rigour, which has conspicuously failed to condemn the excesses of Cybarnattery and historically whose response to any challenge to its dogma has simply been to shout the same thing louder and louder and more aggressively. I also note with interest that Salmond wants a fair share of everything which is British, including the pound and 8.4% of all tangible assets. Oo...errr... will that be including just 8.4% of Britian's oil assets as well then?

Now there's a thought!! On the other hand DNA testing may be required here since Willie Bell allegedly used to enjoy some of the same (non ovine ) partners as Granville Paterson!

Oddquine...how much personal forward planning have you done in the event of a yes vote? I mean, if you are no longer a citizen of the United Kingdom, do you have another target waiting in the wings for your considerable sense of grievance and resentment? I mean, you almost make me look like an Alex Salmond/SNP fan!

Jock... we have had an art gallery as part of the museum in Upper Bridge Street for several years. The premises referred to here are a small art concern in "Upper Kenneth Street"! (Just a stone's throw from where the horse trough used to be!)

Joe I think some of you chaps on the "terribly serious" wing of the separatist lobby really need to lighten up a bit, stop being such Chippy Jimmies and remember that a huge number of people have no interest at all in going all po-faced and embarking on desperately intense "debates on the constitution" and all the rest of the stuff we've now had to endure since 2011. The reality is that a very large section of the population is actually quite happy to be part of the UK and hence see no need at all to keep banging on about this stuff. However, thanks to the SNP's Holyrood majority, we are now faced with what many of us regard as at least a potential threat to our happiness, our wealth and our quality of life. As such, we are entitled to use any reasonable means to oppose what the SNP are attempting to impose upon us. These means include ridicule and satire, especially since there is so much on the yes side which is particularly wide open to these well established forms of political comment. In fact it's rather a shame that Jonathan Watson hasn't been touring Scotland with a Watson's Windup Referendum Special! We seriously need to lighten up about this!! To be quite blunt, a Scottish identity doesn't really loom very large at all on my list of priorities. Scotland happens to be the part of Great Britain in which I was born and live. But for an accident of my father's employment, that might just as easily have been Yorkshire or Wales or Cornwall or Sussex. The subdivision of the UK with which I identify by far the most strongly is the Highlands (but not because that's the bit where most of the oil REALLY is), far ahead of Scotland. As a result, this current attempt to split off part of the UK in which I live from the rest of the country has all the possible down sides and absolutely nothing to commend it - and that's before you look at the hypocrisy of expecting to take all the oil whilst still also expecting to be bailed out by sharing sterling and God knows what else. But never mind Joe. If we get a yes vote in September, you would surely be well placed to step in as Scotland's Senator Joe McCarthy and become Chairman of the "Un-Scottish Activities Committee." "Are you now, or have you ever been a member of a Unionist Party?"

Turning that around, if there was no oil would anybody want independence? The SNP has been around since the 1930s but had an insignificant share of the vote until 1974. And now the SNP not only seem to want to break up the UK.... they also expect everyone to agree to do so on their terms. When it comes to Britain's currency (and possibly a few other things as well), they expect the rest of the UK to share that with them. But when it comes to Britain's oil they want to nick all of that for themselves. However I wouldn't quite say that there are "rakes of it". The SNP are asking for a permanent separation on the basis of a declining asset which will disappear pretty quickly. I would suggest that the rest of the UK would, at the moment, be pefectly entitled to say "So if you guys really are going to vote to leave, taking all the oil with you, why don't you just p!ss off and fend totally for yourselves?"

It was 1989. Early Learning shops in Saudi Arabia must sell a lot of shaving foam! I suspect this happens quite a lot in age group distance running where African runners' dates of birth tend to uncelar to say the least.

"Don't shoot 'til you see the whites of their eyes!" - Michael Caine, Zulu, 1879. "Trust in God and keep your powder dry" - Oliver Cromwell, Battle of Dunbar, 1650. "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition" - Frank Loesser, USA, 1942. "They don't like it up 'em sah, they do not like it up 'em!" - Corporal Jones, Dad's Army, 1940.

You mean John Swinney?

What Nicola Sturgeon has said is: "'Scotland's Future' is a Scottish Government publication developed and drafted by civil servants under the direction of ministers. Officials developed 'Scotland's Future' as part of their normal duties in support of Scottish ministers in line with the Civil Service code." So what legitimate part does detailing SNP party policy have in a publicly funded document assembled using public resources? The following quote from Alex Salmond also begs that very same question: "The White Paper sets out the policies of the Scottish National Party that will transform the lot of the poor and low paid in Scotland." So it looks as if the top two in the SNP are simply confirming that half a million quid of our money has been spent on what is to a large extent an SNP election manifesto. By the way, do you not think Iain Gray's 2011 visit to the sandwich shop and the part it played in the current SNP majority is a missed sponsorship opportunity on their part? Imagine the scene..... This referendum comes to you courtesy of SUBWAY!!!! "Haggis and neep footlong on Hearty Caledonian please." "Certainly Mr Gray. Would you like lettuce on it? Salt? Pepper? Cheese? Tomato? Olives? Oh... and should Scotland be an independent country? How would you like to pay sir? We can't use sterling and we don't have a Plan B......."

For goodness sake Oddquine, that's about as logical as suggesting that Ibrox could be painted green and white if the Rangers fans allowed that! Holyrood could have had this referendum any time since the place opened in 1999 if Labour, the Conservatives and the Lib Dems had wanted one - but the bottom line is that they don't because they all believe in the Union! We're having one now (well, unfortunately not until September) because, apart from the token Green(?s), the only MSPs who give a toss about this stuff are the SNP ones. This is THEIR baby. Pure and simple. Well....I suppose if you're REALLY desperate, you could sort of attribute this referendum to Labour in a way. I mean the only reason the SNP vote finally stretched to giving them the overall majority they have used to push this through was Iain Gray taking refuge in a Glasgow sandwich shop during the 2011 campaign . I think that was the final straw for poor old Labour which set the scene for the final decline of their vote and the SNP majority which is the sole reason for this referendum.

For the simple reason that 7/650 and 15/129 are both drops in the ocean, but at Westminster you have several drops in a very diverse ocean while in the Holyrood scenario all you have is a very unequal dichotomy of them.... and us - an arrangement which has left the Highlands with a decidedly bum deal at any point through history where it has been in a position to operate. Oh, and I am presuming you don't choose London very often as a favoured holiday destination

There is one reason and one reason only why we are being put through this referendum just now - the SNP proposed the legislation and the SNP ensured that it passed through Holyrood. Otherwise we would just be getting on with our lives unmolested by its sheer tedium. This is their project from start to finish. And if what the SNP think is not how Scotland would be run in 20 years time in the event of a yes vote, why have they said, written and promised so much that depends on government policy post-2016, which they can't possibly hope to guarantee to deliver? Quite frankly the whole referendum business is boring me to tears with politicians from both sides being distracted on to its soapboxes rather than using their energy to run our affairs. The only real relief is to have a bit of a laugh about it.

Well if that is a concern for you, why should anyone expect Highlanders to vote in September for an outcome which would be completely Edinburgh or Glasgowcentric? The SNP have already taken away our local control of police and fire and rescue as well as hamstrung our local councils by imposing a Council Tax freeze and we could expect a lot more of the same if the central belt get a 100% say over our lives. Funny how the separatists bang on about the evils of the centralisation of power whilst imposing just that themselves.

Oddquine, after more than three years in the trenches, even the soldiers in the First World War (Oops! Don't mention the War. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it! ) managed to dilute the misery and the tedium with a bit of humour. Look, we've been suffering this tedious referendum crap for a very long time now with more still to come and I think we need a bit of a laugh as a bit of light relief from it - well perhaps apart from Derek Bateman who, since he vacated the airwaves, seems to have found another medium in the form of a blog to indulge in his apparent life's preoccupation of constantly banging on about this referendum.

You mean like Eshenpee shupporter Shur Shaun who lovesh hish country sho much that he ushed to shtay in Shpain? The problem with these expats getting a vote would have been that none of them is going to have to live with the consequences in the event of a yes. Also, far too many people who may have begun life as domiciled Scots but now live abroad float about on some misplaced, Braveheart-motivated cloud of pseudo-romance and look nostalgically on Scotland as some kind of Brigadoon theme park.

http://www.inverness-courier.co.uk/Sport/Football/Row-threatens-end-of-Inverness-and-District-Welfare-season-05092013.htm As far as I recollect, about 10 years ago or so they fell out with the Scottish Amateur FA and hence defected to the Scottish Welfare FA with whom this latest fall out seems to have been. As I recollect, they were also with the Welfare before the Amateur back in maybe the 60s and 70s but am not clear as to whether it was also a fall out that led them to go Amateur in the first place. I am also unclear as to whether the rattle is in need of retrieval again because they have gone back to the SAFA for a second time or whether they have resolved their differences with the SWFA. But in any case the people who organise the football you see on midweek summer evenings at the Buight and elsewhere around Inverness seem to have an amazing capacity to fall out with the establishment, whoever they may be!