Ross County are seeking a route planner for their open bus tour of the Highlands and possibly beyond. This tour will take place on Monday 17 May 2010.

Bus designs should include a raised platform to allow the masses including native sheep to view the Scottish Cup.

In terms of route, Buckfast is unlikely to be an option. Most of Inverness will be a no go area. Dingwall has limited turning space and is likely to be awash with secret police for this prestigious event.

Details of your bid may be posted on this website or sent under cover to The Adams Family, Welldoneyoujammyrivals, Tinkville, Caleyforever.

I thought it was going to be an open-topped caravan - anyone got a tin opener?

If Ross-shire folk who are not going to Hampden wish to see the cup I suggest they follow the A835 to Tore, then follow the A9 to Perth and then join the M90/A90 to Dundee. That is where the cup will be.