Thanks Airborne Jake...
Here's another cracker - just for you... It's the way I tell em - you've heard them all before - it's just that I tell em better.....!!!
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of my dear wife!"
That won him top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night at the pub" "Really" she said, "What was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life sitting in the church, beside me wife"
"Oh, that's very nice", said Mary, "Thank you for saying that"
The next day Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize for the best toast at the pub the other night with a toast about you Mary"
"Aye he told me" says she, "I was a bit surprised myself. You know he's only ever been there twice in the last 4 years. The first time he fell asleep, and the second time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come" ....!!!!