During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.
I described a typical day this way:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7km through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.
I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers"
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a **** golfer"