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From todays Scotsman: EDINBURGH PREPARES FOR A HIGHLAND INVASION BY EWEN "SQUIRREL" MCMURRAY Lothian and Borders Police have today announced that the force will be cancelling all leaves for Saturday 11th September 2010, as Leith prepares itself in readiness for a potential human hurricane. The National Criminal Intelligence Unit (NCIU) has received reliable information which suggests that two of the most notorious football "firms" in Scotland are planning to stage a full membership "union" - called the Gathering - at the Hibernian versus Inverness Caledonian Thistle SPL league game. The two firms - "The Mob" and "The Sesh Army" have been rumoured to have been in the throes of amalgamation for several months, and Police Surveillance Units have noted that there has been an increasing mingling of the two factions at recent ICT away fixtures. Bob Plod of the NCIU stated that "There has been evident increasing activity at many of the recent ICT matches where incidents have been monitored, reprted and observed - A fun loving Greenpeace Steward was jostled, hustled and abused at Greenock; a faction of the ICT support stood and chanted incessantly at Dumfries, the frivolity and pitch invasions carried out in Ayr were reminiscent of Wembley 1977 and there were mass expulsions from Tannadice where a steward was rushed to hospital with a scratched tupperware box." PC Plod advised members of the public to avoid direct confrontation but reassured them that many of the potential noise makers were fairly easily recognised - half of them are bald and fat and the others are young and trendy. Their apparent battle cry is "Stand Up For The Caley Jags" and the noise levels and atmospheric problems appear to increase when they perform their War dance or "Haka" which has the curious tradition of taking off one of their shoes and waving it in the air. Meanwhile the Leith Central Community Council met urgently yesterday. They are arranging for all local residents to be issued with free ear plugs and are in the process of soundproofing the local Drill Hall in Dalmeny Street where residents can gather as a "place of safety" on the day. It is also rumoured that the Council will be employing observers from the Noise Abatement Society who will be on the streets with Analogue Sound Level Meters. Lothian and Borders Police have also reassured the council that spot checks for megaphones and loud voices will be randomly carried out. The only local business that would appear to be opening its doors to the Highland Hurricane is the Iona Bar. Its owner Harry, who also runs the Ship Inn in Ayr, told us " There have never been any incidents in here before. We tape up the windows, use plastic glasses and most of the regulars are tone deaf anyway. I will be only too happy to allow any highlander to lubricate their tonsils pre match. Local Inverness historian, Ian Broadfoot, informed us that the Gathering was not a surprise to him but was probably an event that was always going to occur. He felt that "It is a natural progression, the marriage between the days of yore and the vivality of the present and the future" "The Mob are a post merger amalgamation of the "Caley Animals" and the "Heathmount Back Bar Brigade". They are all now mature and wise individuals in their thirties, forties and fifties. Whereas the "Sesh army" have grown over the last few years and are the future of ICT - a bit of a Fan Academy really. Some say it is a bit like a Robbie and Gary reunion but I would liken it more to a meeting between Johnny Rotten and Amy Winehouse. Reprentatives of the Mob and the Sesh Army were unavailable but we met with an AndyM of the "Real ICT Sweet Rustling and Gurning Society" who stated that " My fellow sweetie rustlers and I will be monitoring the situation and will be advocating that the throng are moved en masse if they make too much noise, preferably to Tynecastle." The final word laid with David Sutherland on behalf of the ICT Board. He assured all concerned that " We are appalled by these rumours and wish to distance ourselves from any support and/or encouragement. We have always done our uptmost to prevent an atmosphere at any of our games. It is not in the best interets of ICT to allow laughing, smiling, singing, standing and camaraderie to seep back in to the stands - we have a repuation to uphold and the TCS is a glowing example.

Oh ****, it gets worse. Word on the street is that the notorious Summer Wine Crew are going, and they ain't happy about these other factions muscling in on their territory. Apparently they will be popping a few scones and drinking loads of tea before wading in to the action, armed with their full arsenal of dated and predictable jokes. Stay well clear .

to be honest though we really are on the ropes, I'd be comfortable with McBain playing on the left but i'd still be thinking " WE NEED FORAN!"

Wave at birdog.

Fail.

Like yourself Scotty - enabling ICT fans worldwide to have petty but heated arguments on a public forum since 1994

http://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/Article.aspx/1897709 Ah well he thought he was moving on to bigger and better, the best thing that came from his move was Ryan the Legend, Good luck finding a club dude.....

absolute twaddle!! your basing your opinion on a booking and a sending off which while annoying was borne through frustration?? have you never done anything in the heat of the moment? Imrie was not to blame for that defeat in Perth, our second half collapse was. i always thought Imrie was a good player although admittedly sometimes hot-headed and inconsistent but always a trier. He was definitely an asset to have in the team and still to this day I think getting rid of him was a mistake. I think he proved this by getting more than 4 MoM awards for Hamilton in the SPL immediately after he left us Whether he is a likable character or not is not the case in hand. he winds folk up but at the end of the day he has the ability to win games. as he did for us and as he did for hamilton today much to our annoyance.

Swearing I am no prude. I sit in section G for the atmosphere and am fine with the occasional use of the Anglo Saxon as an unintended expletive or as a connecting, adjective, or rhyming word in a song. However, yesterday it was just offensive and not funny: Constant (and I mean constant) 'Imrie you are an F'ing C' adds nothing to the atmosphere, is not clever, and I am sure only serves to fire up the inteded recipient. This is just one of many examples. The constant reference to Imries' private life was the same. There is a difference between clever banter and slanderous base insult. But it's not just Imrie, more and more we are just hearing repetative insults to the opposition, ref etc which make the protagonist sound like an inarticulate idiot. Come on lads....you used to do a great job of livening up the North stand with wit and banter and people used to join in (I know not enough... but some). Those people on the fringes who you are trying to get to join in are just getting sickened by you and thinking of moving...or have already. If you really want to help the club you need those on the fringes, who are not brave enough to shout on their own, to join in. I have supported you on here on numerous occasions in the past but yesterday, and not for the first time, you alienated me. And you are right next to the family section!