IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

Well I was there and I know all about Body Language. There was little else to watch. All I am saying is that IF Richie was more Conti like than Wengeresque it would send a very, very strong message to the fans and the feckin players. Richie is simply being too feckin nice. Some of the tactics were poor but some individual performances were SHOCKING. "Tell it as it is" I say. If you had got a complimentary journey and ticket to Tynecastle you would understand. When you actually pay good money to get there and watch ABSOLUTE EMBARRASSING DROSS you have the entitlement to say your piece. That last sentence is the most laughable

What is the difference between Jennifer Anniston and ICT - She has two more points than us.

Sorted Less than I have had though !!

Lionel ??

If that was the real Richie Foran those feckin seagulls would never have been there. Never mind Monday the shell was overflowing yesterday.

The Heathmount post match kitty

The brave pishedd off 230

Esson, C. Brown Warren, Meekings, Tremarco Robertson, Draper, Macarthur, Doran Fisher, Boden Subs; A.Trialist (1); A.Trialist (2); Fon Williams: Sutherland; Foran; Urquhart; Milroy

Exfeckincactly - May I add the words "togetherness" I take it that you were not at the game yesterday. I understand and applaud your devotion but what we need is the "support" of punters paying admission fees - and the devoted are not enuff. Oh - and THERE IS NO BUDGET!!

Team for Tuesday: Fon Williams Raven, Rennie, J. Brown, Horner Robertson, Tansey, Vigurs, Polworth Sutherland, Mulranney PS - This is NOT sarcasm.

I am so thankful. Cramp after 60 minutes of total exertion was a worrying sign.

At least Kenny Cameron is out there trying

I see Mrs Mulraney has voted

THE NEW CLUB CREST WITH A CHERISHED DATE

And here is the original Match Report which will inevitably be censured to feckin shreds but is from the heart. TOOTHLESS CALEY THISTLE This is how the report would have read if I had typed it last night - "MATCH DEPORT - Home Safe - Pishedd but ICT were pisheddedder" Well were do I feckin start - Lets look at this comment first - Inverness Caledonian Thistle manager Richie Foran: "I don't think it was a 5-1. We had more chances on goal today than we had in the previous three games, but you've got to put the ball in the net." It could actually have been 25-5. We were slaughtered. It was embarrassing. 44% possession but NO width and NO penetration. 13 shots on goal and 7 on target - for on target add weak or directly at keeper. 7 corners all aimed at Gary Warren. Fer fecks sake. "They had that bit more belief when they had their chances. That's what we lacked." And where do they get that belief from. Shure Rice was barking orders but that is lukewarm. Foran looked like a feckin mannequin. Take the feckin suit off and give them laldy. Be more of Foran the nasty, snarling player, forget they were team mates and give them some good old Irish bollockings. "We had too many players underperforming as well. I've got to take a big part of the blame for that as well - I picked the team, I picked the tactics, I picked the training through the week." Fair enuff - Neither Butcher or Hughes would have said that. But the tactics are WRONG. BUT we don't have any real replacements. I thought "If it was me - how could I change it ?" - Only by being ruthless and perhaps playing the yoof. "These players have proven over the years they are top players, but I'm not getting the best out of a few of them at the moment, so I'll take the blame for today." That is a fellow player talking - a buddy - a friend - not a manager. The blame will rest with Foran in the end but we have some of his old buddies playing cards in the feckin trenches. There are some who frankly are not playing for the shirt becos they probably think - "well who else is there". Apart from Warren and Tremarco NOBODY else looked like they were giving 100% - please refer to Grumpometer becos there is NOTHING to smile about !! So the only positive about yesterday was pre-match. Great to have trains running from Englandshire all the way to Embra. Great to be at a game again. And great to see many of the old faces and enjoy a dram or twenty. But then I had to go to Tynecastle - in the Over 65 gate though with the adult Mantis So to the game. Lets summarise. We made Don Cowie look like Wayne Rooney and Connor Sammon look like Slatan Ibrahimovic. Nuff feckin said. We played some neat stuff for 7 minutes. I don't know about anybody else but I hate that 1-2 touch technique fresh off the training ground. Toothless. And then I am sitting there looking at two banks of four that would have won a Synchronised gold feckin medal. But then it didn't change. It stayed like that. And I thought to myself - Somebody with guile will suss that and the olde 1-2 will be easy peasy. And then it was delivered by those two masters of skill - Cowie and Slamon - Fer fecks sake !! And then we allow Cowie time to measure and deliver a cross to a totally unmarked Ibrahimovic who rose UNMARKED like a majestic flounder at the back post. 2-0 and GAME feckin over. But did we pull up our sleeves and show what we were made off. NO we feckin didn't. We sat back and admired. We did not have the energy to press and we had holes all over the place. We were second to every ball. And we did get a chance - which we did - we fluffed the lines like an Amateur Dramatics line up in the West End. The lights were too bright for Boden (especially), Warren and Draper. GUMPOMETER !! Von Willems - Looked like a POW at the back. Starved off confidence but equally starved of protection. Appeared too weak to shout and cajole the culprits in front of him. To be fair he had little chance with the goals but he is "invisible" to me. And why - oh why - the feck did he come out with Esson early at half time. WHY ? Well should have been to change feckin jerseys. Raven - Sorry Mr Hughes - you were right !! Warren - 100% no doubt but 120% is too much. Too eager to get forward and left Meekings stranded at times. Meekings - Simply was NOT 100 % fit. He must have thought - who is the geezer at right back and where are the people who are supposed to be in front of me !! Tremarco - My MOM if only for determination and not putting his head down. Polworth - Why oh feckin why play him wide left. End of. Tansey - Shocking Draper - Drifted in and out of the game - said it a long time ago but Draper + Tansey does not equate. Vigurs Why oh why play him in the feckin "hole". Totally wasted and he gave up. Mulranney I was looking forward to see him. Well he looked like a white Mutumbo with less awareness. Nuff said. Cramp after an hour and stretchered off. *****. Boden Proven goalscorer in the lower English leagues. BUT he is NOT a feckin lone striker. And he had NO support. He did a lot of good running off the ball and got in positions to score twice before half time. Shure he fecked them both up but he got in that goalscoring position. Looked the most likely to score and what to we do. We feckin SUB him !! So take Fisher on and hook Mulranney and help out Boden. Too feckin simple. And Fisher looked and is a target man but NOT a lone striker. Great overhead kick attempt thoughLittle Jack Horner should have been kept sitting in the feckin corner. Nice to see Doran back and he HAS to start next week which means that he wont. And I thought that McLean was very lenient. And we still amassed 4 needless yellows which bodes well for future suspensions !! Oh and get the Board to stump up more money - Fer fecks sake - This is the real world nt a game of feckin Monopoly !!

DOH - So why not just do that in the first instance ?!!

Ain't got yer number Mantis and call registered as message. Looks like we are both OK fear tickets. Where are we meeting pre- match ?

Farid El Alagui is on the lookout for a new challenge after a “mixed” two years with Hibs. The 30-year-old Moroccan managed only 21 appearances in an injury-disrupted stint at Easter Road. Despite his fitness problems, he insists he has no regrets about agreeing to become the second signing of Alan Stubbs’ tenure two years ago.“I’ve got mixed feelings when I look back on my time at Hibs,” he said, in conversation with the Evening News in a North Edinburgh coffee shop. “I was happy to be there at this stage in my career and it was a great place to be under Alan Stubbs but the big frustration was that I was not able to produce for a long period of time because of injuries. I feel like I did well when I played. I was feeling fine when I was fit and involved, especially when I first signed. I regret my injuries but I definitely don’t regret going to Hibs. I just feel, obviously, that I could have done so much more. “Even though I had a bad time with injuries, the fans have always been great with me. Apart from the injuries, I’ve got some great memories from my time at Hibs. The club will always have a special place in my heart.” El Alagui had scored four goals in his first five appearances for Hibs before a serious Achilles injury, sustained away to Alloa Athletic, effectively killed his chances of being a success at Easter Road. He eventually returned to action later that season, and scored in a 2-0 victory over Hearts, but he wasn’t playing pain-free. Surgery last summer to remove screws from his Achilles area, which he thought would cause minimal disruption, then had a debilitating effect on him for the first half of the season just finished. By the time he eventually rediscovered his fitness, his body remained prone to irritating niggles.“The big one at the start, the Achilles, was the worst,” the striker said. “In the second season, I had to remove the screws from the operation the previous season and I thought it would only take a couple of weeks to get fit again, but it took a lot longer for me to start jogging because it was painful.“I eventually started to feel really good from January onwards – that was as good as I’d felt for a long time. I was training a lot but I just couldn’t get a rhythm of games. It was on-off, on-off, so when I did come on I kept getting niggles. I started against Livingston in April then felt something in my hamstring which wasn’t related to my Achilles problem. We took a little risk to come back for the Scottish Cup semi-final against Dundee United a couple of weeks after that, but it unfortunately it didn’t work. I felt my hamstring again and that turned out to be my last game for Hibs. El Alagui looks a picture of health and declares himself in prime condition fitness-wise. He knows that wherever his next move takes him, it is critical that he enjoys an injury-free summer as he strives to get his career back on track. “I need a good pre-season and a good run of games from the start to be fit for the long term,” he said. “Apart from the niggles at the end of the season, every time I played I felt sharp and feel like I contributed at Hibs. The good thing is that I managed to get fit just before the final, so I’m ready to start pre-season as soon as I get a new club. I’ve been out running and keeping in touch with the Hibs fitness coach, who has given me a programme, so I’m feeling 100 per cent. That will mean I can do pre-season like every other player. I’ve not played much recently so it is no good for me to take a month off over summer. I need to keep going. I’m a fit person naturally so I enjoy doing all the work.”

Thank you Nairn and Graeme McLeid FARID El Alagui’s hat trick at Station Park helped Inverness CT to ease past a hard-working Nairn County. The visitors took the lead with just two minutes on the clock. Stephen Rennie’s in-swinging corner from the right was met by the towering figure of Farid El Alagui and he sent a header crashing beyond Dylan Maclean and into the roof of the net. The game livened up again around the quarter-hour mark with Chris Moir’s square pass infield being picked off by Aidan Wilson before the Inverness midfielder drilled a low shot past the near post. Almost immediately at the other end, Chris Moir attempted to round Ryan Esson but could only lift the ball inside for Jamie Mackay. His attempted volley spun up into the air and Wayne Mackintosh ran on to it but the County skipper’s drive was beaten away by Esson at his near post. However, it was Inverness who struck again on 18 minutes. Jamie Mackay was short with his back pass from the right allowing Farid El Alagui to nip in and roll his second goal of the night under Dylan Maclean. A diving save from Ryan Esson kept the visitors two goals in front on the half-hour. The former Scotland goalkeeper threw himself to his left to tip away a Kerr header off a Mackay cross from the right just as the ball looked to be creeping inside the near post. Three minutes before the break, a neat interchange of passes put Aaron Doran in from the left but his curling effort was parried away by Dylan Maclean. Maclean was called into action again eight minutes into the second half as he clutched a Josh Meekings header off a Doran free kick. The busy Nairn stopper was beaten again in fortuitous circumstances on 58 minutes. A Doran cutback from the left was side-footed goalwards by El Alagui and just when it seemed as if Maclean was set to gather a simple shot at his near post, the ball deflected off the chest of substitute Jamie Wilson, as he found the net three minutes after taking to the field. Esson was called into action midway through the second half as the goalkeeper stood tall to keep out a Dylan Mackenzie drive from 12 yards after the Nairn sub had been played in by Mackintosh. The fourth goal arrived following the award of a dubious free kick on the standside touchline. Jack Maclean won the ball in a sliding challenge right in front of assistant referee Molly Alexander but the official flagged for a foul. From the delivery, Ali Sutherland knocked in his side’s fourth of the night. Nairn can feel hard done by with the award of a penalty which led to a fifth Inverness goal on 79 minutes. Willie Barron attempted to usher a bouncing ball back to Maclean but was shoved in the back by El Alagui. That caused the Nairn defender to stumble, with the dropping ball striking him in the arm. Referee Ben Dempster awarded a penalty despite the apparent foul and Farid El Alagui stepped up to coolly stroke home for his hat trick. But County grabbed a consolation goal three minutes from the end. A clumsy Jason Brown tackle on Jason Morganti just inside the Nairn penalty area led to a spot kick, which Wayne Mackintosh stepped up to blast home. Nairn County – D. Maclean, Keogh (Morganti 76), P. Macleod, Riddell (S. Mackenzie 51), Mackintosh, C. Maclean, Kerr (Macrae 46), Moir, Mackay (D. Mackenzie 63), J. Maclean, Glenn Main (Barron 51). Subs unused: R. Macleod (gk). Inverness CT – Esson, C. Brown (Gilchrist 55), Rennie, Meekings, J. Brown, A. Wilson (J. Wilson 55), Robertson (Stark 55), Macarthur, El Alagui, Sutherland (Smith 81), Doran. Subs unused: McRitchie, MacDonald, Hoban (gk). Referee – Ben Dempster. Written By: Graeme Macleod

Can somebody grab me a ticket and I will catch up on Embra ?

Looking forward to Dumfries and Greenock

Boyce afeckingain

Things are Boden better

Season over for McNaughton ?