Scotty

Inverness extend their stay at the top Inverness failed to set the heather on fire but did enough to earn their chips at Auchterarder as they beat SPFL strugglers Kilmarnock by the odd goal in three. Richie Foran, the SPFL player of the month, and N Ireland international striker Billy McKay scored for the visitors with Barry Nicholson getting the last touch in a bizarre goal for Killie. This was an error strewn match but manager of the month Terry Butcher's side always had the edge over a disappointing Kilmarnock who looked more like a pub side than a team playing in the top division in Scotland. Immortal Howden Ender took a break from ghost duties to write this report for us..................... Well I suppose that the old cliche says that it takes a good team to take three points away from home when they are not performing at their best. That was a rather uninspiring performance but we were still streets ahead in regard to quality and endeavour - and if we had scored a second early doors we could have cruised home in comfort. As it was we were happy to hear the final whistle although we never looked like or deserved to be losing two points. Lets liken it to the Bazooka Joe experience - or probably Hubba Bubba to the yoof - I can recall blowing this massive bubble until it popped and stuck to ma face. It would then take ages to peel the debris off and ages to get the energy to blow another fecker up. But I still have this big bubble in front of me and it ain't going to burst easily. And I suspect that if it does I will comfortably peel the debris off, unwrap a new chewy and start blowing it up again. This ICT side really do have the togetherness factor and are simply not going to implode. They may stutter but they could explode again. We decided not to stir up the spirits in the Hunting Lodge but drank some spirits in the Portmann Hotel - which is recommended for future Killie trips. There was a rather subdued support today and averaged in the 40+ years and that is why we didn't bounce to the Ultra ditty until just on full time !! As fer the game - not one to write home for - but Foran netted again after 5 minutes. If he had been found the first time he would have been offside but by the time the second attack came round he was in the perfect position. If we had got a second soon after - and we clearly went fer it - we could have feckin hammered them. We were by far the better team in the first 45 and perhaps Doran could have netted one of his two chances. But we went more and more on the back foot and allowed Killie to pass the ball although they never did anything in the last third. Their equaliser evidently came as a shock and Nicholson benefited from a lucky ricochet off a Shinnie clearance which left Brill with no chance. It did kick us back into life and McKay lobbed home a beauty to take the lead again. But instead of capitalising we seemed to sit back and look to score on the break. To me that was tactically wrong and let Killie more in to the game and us resorting more and more to the hoof. I would have to say that I was actually disgusted by the tactics employed when we got a corner with 4 minutes to go. We put ONE feckin player in the box and went to time waste. Sure, that may have gained us two very valuable points but it was negative and disappointing in the extreme. But as the final whistle blew we were / are still TOP of the league and deservedly so. The brethren again paid homage to the footballing gods as TB emerged from his pulpit and led the faithful in the celebratory homage. To me - Foran has been a revelation this season and was my MotM by a country mile. Just behind him was a more difficult choice but I would plump fer Meekings and Draper. It is probably homage to the defensive unit that Brill is still relatively untested. He had no chance with the dodgy goal and had only one real save which may have been going wide anyway. His distribution however waned in the second half. Raven was solid enuff although TB must have been pished off that he managed to play half an hour in a brilliant white and un blooded head bandage. Warren was solid if not as effective as usual. Boyd is still a handful if not well past his SPL sell by date. Shinnie is as good an attacking wingback as there is - especially in comparison to Lee Wallace. Ross and Doran looked good at times but were employed more in a defensive role. Poor Vincent worked his socks off but can anybody tell me what his feckin role was today. McKay again ploughed a lone furrow but his chip was worthy of winning any game. I really hope that today was horses for courses and we are more attacking at the Hill of Dung. But I and you can probably put up with another week of adrenaline and serotonin surge. Date: 14.09.2013 Venue: Rugby Park, Kilmarnock Attendance: 3063 Referee: Steven Mclean Kilmarnock: 1 Lineup: Samson, Clohessy, Irvine, Tesselaar, McKeown, Nicholson, Fowler (Pascali 70), Jacobs (Stewart 76), Gros (Ibrahim 46), Gardyne, Boyd Subs (not used): Reguero, O'Hara, Ashcroft, Pooler Scorers: Nicholson (51) Booked: Pascali (76) Sent Off: none Inverness CT: 2 Lineup: Brill, Raven, Warren, Meekings, Shinnie, Draper, Foran, Ross, Vincent (Williams 81), Doran, McKay (Agdestein 85). Subs (not used): Esson, Devine, Greenhalgh, Tremarco, Polworth Scorers: Foran (6), McKay (56) Booked: Shinnie (86) Sent Off: none

Men against Boys It was discussed in the preview that Inverness were a vastly more experienced squad than their Hearts counterparts, and having witnessed this demolition job that is exactly how it panned out. He scores when he wants grabbed a brace in the first half, but in all honesty he should have scored the proverbial barrowload. A second half penalty miss and a one-on-one opportunity were passed up by McKay but Inverness were utterly dominant and cruised to victory over the young Jambos who were tiring rapidly after their midweek adventures at Raith and ended up chasing shadows around the Tulloch Caledonian Stadium, thankful that their goal difference only suffered a minus two set back. The £5 cash back offer swelled the away support to what looked to be over a thousand Hearts fans and they got right behind their team and were in good voice throughout the entire game, matched by a vociferous home support to make this an entertaining encounter. We appear to be playing our home games in traditional Winnie the Pooh fashion as another blustery day welcomed everyone to the ground, and our contingent from Watford liked what they saw as Inverness took the game to the youngsters who must have won the toss as we attacked the large away support end from the off. Ginger Jaggy has a report for us after missing the ginger plane to Holland to watch this one unfold, or maybe he did get that plane. Here's one from me instead. It was the home side who were first to trouble the scorers, but not before Jamie Walker dragged a shot wide in the opening exchanges as he cut into the box on the left side, but his shot was weak and missed the target. Hearts were intent on pushing forward and they paid for that after 10 minutes. Meekings broke up an attack and fed Raven, who threaded a brilliant ball down the flank where Doran never broke stride before looking up and placing an inviting cut-back in front of Billy McKay who needed only one touch to drive the ball high past a diving MacDonald who could only palm the ball into the roof of the net. McKay striking on the run some fifteen yards out for a superb opening goal. Walker was again prominent up front but he rifled another shot wide from a tighter angle after good harrying by Paterson on the touchline. Nick Ross seems to have filled out nicely and he had a go from twenty-five yards but also saw his shot curl wide of the target. Similar to the first goal, Inverness swept forward at pace once more as McKay sprinted onto a superb volleyed clearance from Draper on the edge of his own box. Billy carried the ball over the half way line and held it up on the edge of the visitors box before picking out Doran who had made great strides down the right, his cross come shot was part blocked but Vincent helped it towards McKay who curled a tidy finish into the bottom corner. But, we never do things the easy way and almost shot ourselves in the foot after Graeme Shinnie got himself in a fankle, the ball getting stuck between his feet after an excellent throw out from Brill was nodded back by Ross. This seemed to catch Shinnie unaware and from the resultant cock-up, Walker rattled Brill's post as he burst into the box, choosing to shoot to the tighter angle, a let off and warning for Inverness but half time came along at two goals to the good for Inverness. Half-Time 2-0 Any thoughts that Inverness would sit on their lead were quickly dispelled as we took the game to Hearts in the second half which was as one-sided a forty-five as you could witness. Three minutes in and Gary Warren had crashed a header of the bar with MacDonald beaten as Warren got a second bite at the cherry after Ross and Draper played keep ball before the big midfielder swung over a teasing ball. McKay got the rebound back into the box but Vincent could not turn it on target. Richie Foran tried a pot at goal but was wide of the mark as Inverness turned the screw and the Hearts players wilted after the midweek exertions. McKay was next to miss after a great run down the left by Ross, Billy flicking the ball just wide with the keeper scrambling across his line. It was turning into a procession now and Foran fired a chest high ball into the box which McKay controlled brilliantly but his half volley went straight down the throat of a grateful Jamie MacDonald. Unlike the A9 outside the ground, it was all one way traffic now as Inverness turned this into a training routine and shots on goal were the order of the day. Hearts were penned in their own area for most of the half and MacDonald pulled off a TV save from a Foran effort from all of thirty-five yards, the keeper doing well to turn the ball round the post. Doran volleyed over direct from a Raven throw in as he sprinted into the box, but his shot dipped just over the net which rippled as the ball narrowly missed. Hearts misery was compounded as Jamie Hamill was harshly adjudged to have handled the ball as first Foran, then McKay tried to turn the ball goalwards. Hamill went down clutching his head and video evidence backs this up as he fortunately kept the ball out of the net with his eye, but saw red for his troubles, a verdict Hearts should be able to overturn surely. So as well as being sent off, Inverness were awarded a penalty but justice prevailed as McKay failed to convert, his third in a row. A weakish effort low to the keepers right was well saved but not totally unexpected and that decision left Butcher with a slight seethe. Inverness played out the remainder of the game in total control and the only real surprise is that McKay never scored five or six goals himself and the team double figures such was our dominance over the youthful tiring Jambos. Full Time 2-0 tm4tj MotM:- McKay takes the plaudits for scoring the goals, but he missed too many easy chances for me to give him man of the match, so that accolade goes to Nick Ross who has never looked better, aided by some superb performances from namely Doran, Foran, Draper; in fact most of the team were deserving of a mention. Jamie MacDonald in goal saved Hearts from a battering and Jamie Walker was unlucky up front in the first half, but Hearts had nothing to offer in the second forty-five and Inverness were worthy winners. Moan of the Match was the delays on the roads leading to the ground, especially the roundabout which appears to have led to many fans deserting their buses and walking along the dual carriageway and crossing the busy road. Many people missing up to twenty minutes of the game.....sort it! report by tm4tj Date: 31.08.2013 Venue: Caledonian Stadium Attendance: 4034 Referee: John Beaton Inverness CT: 2 Lineup: Brill, Raven, Warren, Meekings, Shinnie, Foran, Draper, Ross, Doran, Vincent (Greenhalgh 90), McKay (Agdestein 89) Subs (not used): Esson, Devine, Tremarco, Williams, Polworth Scorers: McKay (9, 32) Booked: Doran (33) Sent Off: none Hearts: 0 Lineup: MacDonald, Hamill, McGowan, Robinson, Paterson, Walker (Nicholson 74), Holt, Mckay, Smith (B. King 55), Tapping (Oliver 61), McGhee Subs (not used): Ridgers, A. King, Beith, Buchanan Scorers: none Booked: Holt (83) Sent Off: Hamill (82)