IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

What about a slant on the Michael Gerwin Darts song - oh Lonsana Doumbouya ?

SP - Did ya no read about me and Donview scattering the Hsmilton Youth team ?

Sooperb dude BUT don't you EVER have a dig at my immaturity again !!

Aye - feck me - I forgot Naelifts

Deck the goals with shots from Polly. Personally I don't think that you can beat "Blue Christmas"

ACT FOUR – THE FINAL FRONTIER Oddquine had flirted with AndyC and weeman and they had fallen for the trick of opening the lantern door. Oddquine turned into her “angel” persona Maimie and Maimie sped off to alert Richie Pan. Richie was furious. Maimie sprinkled some fairy dust on Scotty, Jock Watt and dougiedanger and all five flew off at high speed to save the others. Meanwhile aboard the Sir C the 3rd the pirates were taunting the Young Team. Northstandfan, een and ildarino were tickling the feet of jagster, Muirtownjaggy and papalazaroo. Then Captain Yogi Hook, roarer and rubberbumper gave Lizi a choice. “Choose the life of a pirate or walk the plank”. Lizi walked towards the plank. The CaleyOne and Ten4 offered to take her place. StandbyDave declined as he wanted to watch the Borough Briggs Scottish Cup tie. “I will walk the plank” cried Lizi. It was akin to the end scene in Braveheart. TotheOtotheM cried openly, Tree barked furiously, Raszak preyed but Lizi tetered on the edge and then ….. fell forwards. WHOOSH – Richie Pan swooped like Billy Urquhart and grabbed Lizi just before she hit the water. Both pirates and the Young Team exploded on board and fighting broke out from the poop deck to the rigging. Ajmack88, CassICT, davie26, ictewd,john h and micaley68 all joined the affray. It was bringing back memories of the Staigo, the Ferry and the Howden End. Even DoresBoy and DJS reappeared. The main battle ensued between Richie Pan and Captain Yogi Hook. It was defence against attack with Yogi Hook moving sideways perpetually like a crab. And then Richie unbalanced him and Yogi hit the water. “Tick tock, tick tock”. Cameron Crocodile opened his jaws as widely as a Heathmount bar bill and swallowed Yogi Hook. The other pirates drew a sigh of belief and immediately lay down arms and vowed to be the new members of the Young Team. Richie Pan would be the new leader forever. And they all lived happily ever after. PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE MISSED ANYBODY OUT

ACT THREE – PARTY TIME AND THE ACT OF BETRAYAL. Richie Pan and Lizi flew into the camp of the Local Natives. Chief SuperFanRig was delighted to see the return of the witness and the Young Team and the Natives went into party mode. It was akin to the Bay City Rollers playing the Caley Ballroom at Crimbo. At least that was TH4TJ’s memory. Darkness fell and the Sponge howled out Blue Moon”, Alterrnative Maryhill won the Hang The Man competition and ICTChris wrote a blog whilst Mantis and Peter Paul took the photties. Davie even had time to interview Richie Pan and Lizi. But that only served to anger Oddquine even more. Even more than a debate with Charlie Bannerman about Scottish independence. Oddquine took off to the pirate ship as she had hatched a plan to get rid of Lizi. But as soon as she got to the pirate ship she was grabbed by FoolPhysio and caged in a lantern, purchased that day at the Nicols Hardware Store. The pirates marched on to deck to witness the betrayal. Fraz with his eye patch, EyeSetee with his parrot, Snorbens caleyman with his false leg and cable guy with a cable. Oddquine revealed where Richie Pan and the Young Team were hiding out. The pirates went to land and got in a fleet of vehicles, all named by IBM. There was a RednBlackComeback model and a reare sighting of a LundravaJag and a Moomkin. Off they sped to the hideout. Richie Pan was asleep (allegedly) under a car outside the night club, guarded by broomie boy, clayjags and bdu98196. The pirates however swooped and captured Lizi, her brothers and all the young Team except Scotty, Jock Watt and dougiedanger. That was going to be a big mistake. TO BE CONTINUED

ACT TWO – THE FABLED LAND OF SNECK And so the group flew around the globe in order to get to the Fabled Land of Sneck. They passed over Gabby’s Billabong, Scarlet Pimples’ log cabin, Gringo’s steam engine, Wanderers Himalayan shack and Caley Stan’s Cypriot hideaway. But as they finally arrived in the fabled land of Sneck they soon became aware of the potential dangers as cannon shots were fired from the pirate ship of Captain Yogi Hook, aptly named “Sir C the 3rd”. It was like going away to Hamilton. The cries of “I will get rid of you Richie Pan” resounded from the strange accent of Captain Yogi Hook. Yogi had lost his hand in a previous duel with Richie Pan and it had been swallowed by Cameron Crocodile. The crocodile had also swallowed the watch of a previous pirate, Long John Terry Butcher, and could be heard ticking as he approached. At this stage CaleyD posted some video update clips and Renegade challenged some of the factual details, quoting Sickepedia. Anyway the boys - Icftsince1974 and DownintheDumps – could not have cared less as they entered the domain of the Young Team. Stirling Observer was the first to greet them and they marched around the camp to the swirl of the pipes. They were then entertained by the wit of Yngwie and the tales of yore from Mantis and Donview. (OK hardly the feckin Young Team but this is a feckin Panto). We may as well add CaleyMadinBerks, Doofers Dad and 12th Man to the Young Team list. Lets just hope that they don’t have to chase anybody. The boys were loving it BUT then they were ambushed by a gang of Sneck Natives who had already made a reservation to be part of the Panto. The tribe thought that their Princess – lilmissictbabe had been captured by the Young Team and were after a hostage swop. The tribe was led by Chief Superfan RIG who had amassed a devoted tribe. His head honcho was TopSix and the other tribesmen included ferben1994, HawkeyetheGnu, ICT Roughi and PerfICT. They were also fervent followers of Sneck but it was a bit of Hilton/Ferry situation. It had evidently come to a stand off and the boys fell asleep in the land of Nod (a bushy area with a stolen Xmas hat as cover). Meanwhile RichiePan had been wooing Lizi and was flying around the Island to show her the sights – like the Jolly Drover and the Hay Loft. Then they spied Captain Yogi in a rowing boat, accompanied by his first mate Spliff Latapy. Tied in the bow was lilmissictbabe. They were heading to Dungwall Rock. Richie saw his chance, hoofed himself at the boat from a long distance (a bit like his tactics nowadays). A fight ensued and Captain Yogi tumbled in to the waters. Richie grabbed lilmissictbabe and headed for shore. “Tick, tock, tick,tock” could be heard as Cameron Crocodile headed for Captain Yogi. Latapy took off in the other direction but a back up vessel manned by Gavroche, Hiro and Doch4 recued Yogi and took him back to Sir C the 3rd. “This is the end” cursed Yogi TO BE CONTINUED

ACT ONE – INTRODUCTIONS On a farm in rural Aberdeenshire dwelt the Darling family. It was a strange family mix. The father – Kingsmills Darling had some of his famed sweetie rustling compatriots living with him and taking turns to post stern reprimands to any unruly yoof on the CTO Channel. It was a frightening site to watch Kingsmills, Bughtmaster, Huisdean and RowS putting the world to rights. Mother (OldCaleyGirl) was loyal if not of the same ilk but had always put her Caley family first. Even when the original family was torn apart as reported by Charlie Bannerman. And then there was LG the Nanny who had also come into dispute with the footballing cartel in the fabled Land of Sneck. And of course the loyal maid RhodaMcBean. But the youngsters were of a different generation and often rebelled against the elders in the household. Lizi (who looked older than her tender years suggested) was the mother figure to her two brothers - Icftsince1974 and DownintheDumps. Both boys dreamed of being part of the Young Team or being able to call everybody “Fanny” like Caley 100 or to go to Away Days with IHE, Red Card and Govan Jaggie. Lizi would often relate stories of yore to the boys to help them get to sleep. Then one night Richie Pan flew through the bedroom window. The boys were beside themselves with excitement. Lizi had long lusted after Richie as well. Richie was distraught as he had just had another tangle with Captain Yogi Hook and was feeling left out of things and unloved. And he had also lost his bushy brown beard in the melee. Lizi promptly gathered up strands of brown hair and glued the new beard back on. And Richie pecked her cheek. Richie then said that he had to leave. The boys pleaded with him to take them with him to the fabled Land of Sneck. Richie summoned Oddquine and asked her to sprinkle her famed Caithness dust over the boys. It was the same dust that had made Mahonio disappear. “Fly with happy thoughts” said Richie and he, Oddquine, Lizi, ictsince1974 and DownintheDumps started the adventure of their lives. And Red Pyro also lit up the Aberdeenshire sky and the word “Fanny” could be heard for miles around. TO BE CONTINUED

Preferably still in costume

Och Aye the Noo

Then it would be a Gudgie Gogh or Caravan Gogh ?

And probably costing as much too

Who the feck made that one up ??!!

Oh NO you didnt

That was the best away day in years. The game was frenetic. It was highly entertaining and surprisingly competitive. I witnessed levels of skill and endeavour that I had never seen in certain individuals before. But then, unfortunately, the Hang The Man competition ended and we had to go to the game. How the feck did Mary Hill get Bahram Fetai !! The game itself was wholly forgettable. Up until the Coulibally goal BOTH teams served up dire stuff. The game only really heated up after they scored. We did show a lot of guts to recover but they went defensive and paid the price. Speaking to Killie fans afterwards they said that they had been doing the same all season. The goal was terrific and I had to celebrate with a piked, double somersault over the seats in front of me - ably abetted (feckin pushed) by King Beastie. And RedCard organised and won the goalscorer award and Warren could have had time to do aturn in the Hang the Man competition whilst he strolled in for the equaliser. The "spirit" certainly was there. Agree with what SuperFan posted earlier. Strange substitution but injuries are taking their toll. Strange to see the Walrus parading around with a huge ice pack on feckin freezing day and blood oozing from the two others. Tremarco was my clear MOM although Meekings was close. And we have no "teeth" up front.

Who leaked the Feckin script ?!!

Could history repeat itself ?

Wonder when FOW will premiere his ICT version ? Welsh international goalkeeper Owain Fon Williams has completed a painting of the Wales team at Euro 2016. Williams, who plays for Scottish Premiership side Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC, was with the team for this summer's tournament in France. His canvas portrays the team's celebrations at winning a historic appearance in the semi finals. Williams' other artwork has been inspired by the landscape and culture of Dyffryn Nantlle, where he grew up. It includes paintings of slate quarries near where he lived in north west Wales. Since moving to Inverness, he has also created paintings of Highland cattle. Williams spent five months planning and painting the Euro 2016 canvas called Together Stronger.

Perhaps the South Wales Argus was warning us ?? STRIKER Scott Boden has turned down a fresh Newport County contract to pen a three-year deal with Inverness Caledonian Thistle. The 26-year-old forward was one of the Exiles to be offered new terms by manager Warren Feeney at the end of the season. However, he has instead opted for a move to the Highlands where he will link up with former County captain Gary Warren. Boden arrived from Halifax Town last summer and was one of the most successful signings made by former manager – and ex-Inverness boss – Terry Butcher. He struck 15 times in all competitions and scored the goal against Barnet that put the Exiles in the third round of the FA Cup for the first time in 30 years. Boden’s form may have dipped along with that of the team towards the end of the campaign but it didn’t stop him from earning a move to the Scottish Premiership. Boden said: “I’m happy to have got everything over the line and I’m now buzzing to get going.” “I’ve had a bit of a look around Inverness and it’s lovely. You only have to speak to a few people as well to realise the people match the place. I look forward to living and playing here.”