Gringo

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say,"Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!" She did this faithfully for several months! She grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked "Excuse me, are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?" "Yes I am... How did you know?" He, winked and whispered, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;"Hickory dickory dock".....

I better not even attempt to work it out :015: If I add travel and B&B costs to following ICT I could have bought a new motorbike! A round trip to Inverness for me would be around the 300 quid mark as I (we) make a weekend of it. Actuall spend on the club would be well over the 450 mark. Scary stuff.

by professional

toe nails

CRAIG!...St Mirren??.... FFS....have you gone completely mad....... Dargs to Saints I took this picture just around the corner from Love Street at the last match of the season.....

Smiffy, Smiffy, give us wave, Smiffy, give us wave... Boooooo, You're sh1t aaaaahhhhhh. :001: :001:

It's Heads.

FOR SALE: One very little used TV. Comes complete with free licence (expires Oct 07) and an assortment of ornaments and nic-nacs. Buyer collects! :001: :017:

longer than

Oh boy, the TCS stewards are going to be busy chucking folk out for shouting Fanni... :015:

porno' movies

was arrested

Fight Fight Fight..... :crazy07:

Got to be tough all that travelling as it's not just games they have to attend, there's all the training and PR bits that players need to be in Inverness for. Unfortunately our wage structure will not lure quality players north and we'll continue to resurrect careers of players only to see them bog off back down the road again when they've 'got their name back in the window'. Maybe we should pool our efforts into producing home ground talent but will they be up to SPL standard? It's a tough un.

Piggin' 'ell! :33:

Always sad to see a club bite the dust. Game over!

A farmer's young son comes into the kitchen ready for his breakfast. His mother asks if he has done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until his chores are done. Feeling a little annoyed, he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? & why haven't I got milk in my cereals? "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk for a week." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!" "But I always buy it here," says the blonde "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant" Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container......... >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

I think this has been around for a while but it's still good.... B & Q JOB APPLICATION This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells. They hired him because he was so funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way(Grumpy Bestard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I? DESIRED SALARY: £150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It was a crap job. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? : I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamaswith a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE?: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Oh here we feckin' go...and the season ain't even started yet.... :015: Feck Setanta.... :001: :001: :016: :016: And here's me thinking most of the cnuts were in Inverness anyway...... :015:

...and while your at it get them to give me a ring so I can give them a round of F's...on all my free weekends until Xmas they've arranged for ICT to be playing away. :33: :moon2:

:rotflmao: There are some good one's on the Beeb web site... 2012 Logo's I liked this one....

a~money fetish

masturbating wildly

I've done it again....we're up there with Henley U9's now................wahoooooooooo