IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

P W L D F A P/D PTS HMS CELLIC 18 14 2 2 50 20 33 44 HMS SNECK 19 9 7 3 29 17 12 34 HMS JAM TART 17 7 6 4 27 18 9 27 HMS HUN 18 7 6 5 27 25 2 27 HMS MUVVERSMELL 19 6 5 8 20 30 -10 23 HMS HIBEE 18 6 4 8 21 29 -8 22 HMS SEAGULL 17 5 6 6 16 22 -6 21 PWWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Orgasm Time. I hope I havent bitten off more than i can chew.

Move over Caley Fifer. I snapped this all action shot of Ross Tokely at Almondvale yesterday.

Very different body languages at Livingston. Dargo looked extremely miffed at being hooked and he was the one player who looked like producing anything up front. Wyness should have been hooked at half time. Blackie sat comfortably with the supporters throughout and responded to my "Are you off then" question with a smile and a whispered "I aint going nowhere". The other talked about departure, the Machine, is THE player we have to nail down.

I would jump at signing him. He is afr too good fer Livi and the SFL. he may only last a season if he starts playing as well as he did before but feckin go fer it I say. Whats the craic with his contract al Livi?

It did feel like a feckin wake at times but I felt like yon feckin porridge advert. Feckin bored, unstimulated and grey on the outside but a feckin SMUG comfortable glow in the pits of ma guts. The sun shone and the cheats got their comeuppance at long feckin last. It was a pleasure to sit and wonder at the plethora of empty seats, the pished off hordes leaving early, the drums beating their last lament, an ICT away win and a feckin final ersehole display by a large gathering of yellow coated tawts and members of the West Lothian police, fearing an ICT pitch invasion. And the Livi players produced a gutless performance as we cruised throughout. It was like playing a different team to a few weeks ago. Livi showed little fight or passion and no creativity. Hoolahan and Brittain were pathetic whilst Whelan looked punch drunk and even Strong struggled. Healy looks class and worth a gander and Hissy was MOM fer them. I think he appreciated the "Hissy's going to Dungwall chant". :D The day began well. Nowt like sunbathing in a Beer Garden and wallowing in the news of Rooney's stretchering. A hardy bunch of 200-300 Sneckites came to gloat and finally enjoyed a victory at Almondvale this season as the HMS Sneck proved itself to be the Second strongest Away outfit in Scotland. 8) The small crowd were far more subdued than usual but some of the craic with the players was worth it. Even McNamee responded!!!! The game itself was pretty dire. It was only lit up by Bazza's two free kicks. One a peach of a goal and one carbon copy shaving the post. Bazza should have won a penalty in the first half although Munro's hand ball in our area was not spotted either. A magnificent 70 yard run from Keogh did not produce the deserved finished as he sclaffed the final attempt. Underhill's constant feckin whistling was annoying and how he only ended up producing the yellow card once was beyond belief. The performance of the linesman in front of us in the second half was laffable. He pulled us up three times when it looked clearly onside and twice let play go when we were clearly offside. Have to also say the the timing of Dargo and Wyness in their runs was as dire as the game. Still at the end of the day we had three more points on our travels, the third clean sheet in a row and we doomed the Liviscum. I'll feckin drink to that. :D :D SMILEYMOMETER BROWN :D :D :D Never really tested. Marshall may be needed fer Cellics testimonials and I hope Brownie gets a desrved call up. TOKELY :D :D :D :D IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHING CAFU GOLLY More like the Golly we know. Fitter, faster and always looking to go forward. DODS The Machine even showed some silky skills. MUNRO Strolled through the game. BAZZA Not one of his best but dead balls were alwaays the main threat DUNCAN Toiled as ever. KEOGH Non feckin stop fer 90 minutes. he has clearly regained his fitness but he did not create any sparks technically. McBAIN Effort but ineffective. DARGO Suffered from the long ball mentality and got little protection from the officials. Looked very pished off at being taken off. WYNESS Terrible game. BAYNE brought some life and directness to the proceedings. FOX Looks good. Enuff said. reminds me of darren Thompson. McCALLISTER Give him a couple of 45's in the next two games.

I doubt if it will be shown on TV but Bazza ran to the main stand, droppped his shorts, waggled his todger and shouted "Up ya, ya inbred Liviscum bestards".

I've just finished off a huge banner that simply says. Die ya feckin cheatin Liviscum bestards

But its apparently my best phottie angle.

I would plump for any Machine that runs on diesel.

Yon Viagra fecker at the back is and up and coming prospect and could grow up to be as hard as feckin nails.

Who is going to Livi? What about a load of black balloons, white shirts and black ties. :D

Thats not a compliment. Anybody with a three figured IQ would make more sense than a banana. :P

8)

At least Brown will have pretty rankin in front of him next season. :D

feckin potential and at cheap wages.

I think it is called feckin stability, feckin reliability and someone who is unlikely to feck aff. Donald Park's appointment was the main deal.

I am very reliably informed that there are THREE potential targets fer next season.. Rankin, Robb and Morrow. We have also put in interest fer Brighton of Clyde but he may well go fer higher places.

We are actually talking about a player who has very limited SPL experience. We are dwelling on the SFL Caff. I suspect the only club going in fer him is St Midden as he is cheap and potentially available. I suspect that Caff wants to stay around to suss out next seasons squad. He could have left before now.

3 Home 15 on board the HMS Sneck and 2 more to come.

Phew..maybe not. :D

Loopy went to the Longman. Loopy lost her hat. Loopy's mother said to Loopy. "Loopy where's yer hat" Loopy said "It's hanging on a hanger in the hall. Looopy told a horrid lie. It was'nt feckin there at all. I am putting a dubble voddy and coke in the Find loopys hat Fund

Hey Mr Tangerine Man play a song fer me.

The future is bright, the future is CALEY. OK I suppose. Thistle :D

But we could get beat and still be pleasured at the relegation of the cheating scum. Good song Harry. 8)