IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

One really has to understand the mentality of Pie and Bovril. My post was a pure wind up and was'nt even intended to drag up the Kerr situation. Most of the posts are feckin wind ups with a few serious biters along the way. The craic with Buddies like St Sid and Captain Sensible used to be ace in the old SFL forum. We will still have a feckin good drink with them but look out fer a few more IHE wind ups with ma Ross "Cafu" Tokely avatar...and the ICT digs are coming fast and furious already. Pie and Bovril is going to be great fun next season. I reckon we could replace the Bairns as the Buddie baiters. :021: :021:

EWAN MURRAY

You know. Cyril the squirrel, the infamous reporter poster. Is he still writing in the Herald? Is he still ogling todgers in the Corriegarth? I'll post a picture later. :014:

BEST GOAL Brewster at Tannadice (1-1) BEST SAVE Brownie x 2 at Easter Road (2-0) BEST TEAM PERFORMANCE Tynecastle (0-0) BEST PLAYER PERFORMANCE Hart at tannadice (4-2) MOST CHANTED FER PLAYER Rosscoe "Cafu" Tokely. BEST AWAY SUPPORT Tannadice (4-2) OR Hibees (2-0) BEST NEW DITTY "Oh Inverness is Wonderful" OR "Dodsy runs on Diesel" or " MACHINE" BEST AWAY CHANT "One Charlie Christie" at Tannadice or the Dodododo Denis Wyness at Easter Road CHANT FER THE FUTURE "D.A.R.G.O." PLAYER OF THE YEAR Machine.

2003 - 2004 - Had its ups and feckin downs but what a feckin ending!! 2004-2005 - Everybody had us as faves to go down, the trips to Aberdeen but survival. 2005-2006 - best Away season in years but blew two cups. What was your best season? I am going fer 2003-2004.

Played 20 Won 10 Drawn 7 Lost 3 For 30 Against 17 Points 37 :015: :015: :015: The home form improved at the end of the season: P 18 W 5 D 6 L 7 For 21 Against 21 Points 21. 58 Feckin points - 51 Feckin goals - 15 feckin wins and 13 feckin draws :021: and (9) clean sheets. And lets look at the stats: ( Away in bold ) Aberdire 0-0 (1/3) Aberdire 1-2 (1/6) Cellic 2-4 (0/6) Cellic 1-1 (1/3) Arabs 5-3 (4/6) Arabs 2-1 (4/6) Pars 4-2 (7/9) Pars 2-1 (3/3) Bairns 6-2 (6/6) Bairns 2-3 (3/6) Jam Tarts 0-0 (1/3) Jam Tarts 0-1 (1/6) Hibees 4-1 (6/6) Hibees 2-0 (3/3) Killie 2-2 (1/3) Killie 5-5 (2/6) Liviscum 3-3 (4/9) Liviscum 3-0 (3/3) Well 3-0 (6/6) Well 1-3 (0/6) Huns 1-1 (1/3) Huns 2-4 (0/6) And Thanks fer the points to: PARS - 10 HIBEES - 9 BAIRNS - 9 ARABS - 8 LIVI - 7 WELL - 6 KILLIE - 3 ABERDIRE - 2 JAM TARTS - 2 HUNS - 1 CELLIC - 1

Geographically the two towns of Inversneckie and Dungwall are a short distance apart. For many years the distances between their supports and footballing capabilities have had similiar closeness but the gap appears to be progressively widening. ICT have a new stadium, an ever growing support, ever increasing attendances, financial stability and consolidation in the SPL. The Tinks are well lagging behind in most aspects. Lets even have a look (or a feckin laff :015: :015: ) at the comparable tables. ICT Played 38 Won 15 Drawn 13 Lost 10 For 51 Against 38 Goals Diff +13 Points 58 Dungwall Played 36 Won 14 Drawn 14 Lost 8 For 47 Against 40 Goals Diff + 7 Points 56. Comments? I will put it on Over the Bridge for a comparison. :015: :015: :015:

Apparently Scotland "may" be getting two Intertoto places.

I take it that as this is an independent site the Spock lookalike, todger spotting reporter cannot threaten to sue me any more?? So whats the latest info on the Squirrell, and no replies from his agent CaleyFish. :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015:

Saw CC's comments in the Sunday Mail. So whats the craic?

I have just ironed the white Oxford bags, shined up the DM's and got the Leeds Utd scarf out of storage to wrap around ma wrist. Bring the Staigo on. :021: :021: :021:

:015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: One of ma better wind ups I would say.

Monsters of Rock has moved to Milton Keynes and headliners are oldies Alice Cooper, Deep Purple and Thunder supported by Queensryche, Journey and Nugent. But the Monster of Jock is heading with his tent, his kilt, his carry out and head banging mates to the beloved Donnington fer the weekend after to savour the delights of Guns and Roses, Mettalica, Prodigy, Killing Joke, Alice in Chains and the excellent Tool. I got six stitches in ma chin last time when I fell aff the top of a human pyramid. I fink it may have been summat to do wiv the home made Mushroom soup, The oldest swinger in town is getting feckin smashed.

Where are ya going and how are ya limbering up fer the new season. I am back in Gran Canaria on my Brewster regime. Daily Bar crawl down the promenade, titty watching stroll down the long beach, over the dunes, sitting by the pool supping Sangria and on the pish at nite. I will be fair feckin gagging to get going.

May I suggest that we bring back Brewster for the months of June and July and allow him to spearhead pre-season training. Ya can all say what ya like about him but we fair sprinted out of the blocks last season and we looked far fitter than the rest of the bunch early doors. Who is being charged with the pre season torture this year? They really should follow the training regimes, discipline and diets.

Have to disagree. Rankin is just a yoof, player of the year, Under 21 international and Future Squad player. He has mega potential but needs to move on to a bigger stage with better players and SPL training will build him up as well.

I am reliably informed that Sven Goran Eriksson and the English FA have turned to the makers of Bratz dolls in an attempt to curb the spate of metatarsal injuries. They are most impressed that Bratz dolls have interchangeable feet and they are lookinig to turn Shrek Rooney into the first footballer with such feet.

I am reliably informed that McKinlay has signed a two year deal as he does not want to face the prospect of being a squad player as he probably would be. he is almost a cert now to start fer the Tinks. The Rankin deal is done but Cowie would undoubtedly face the squad player dilemna as well. As fer yon Zebidee ****.

What the feck. When i say it I am ridiculed and scoffed at BUT then this comes on and we have some feckin discussion.

Gough, Hendry and JJB were obvious wind ups but the rest will come true one day as will the truth about the Aquifer. Rankin shook hands in January. Just wait and see. 8)

As always I will have the last laff.

I am reliably informed that Brewster has made an official approach to ICT and has laid now the ammount of money he is currently been backed with by the Grocer. At the present time and I cannot see it changing, Black and Proctor will be at Tannadice next season. Brew cannot afford Dargo or Machine and we have already put in another bid fer Rankin. Rankin fer Black makes good business sense to me.

CONCLUSION He is either a very nice young man or a feckin lyin *******. :D