Gringo

Probably an old one - courtesy of Comedy Central :- An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Casino went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that." "It's worse than that, father. She started to repay me with sexual favors." The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question ." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?"

I have to agree with CDN Girl on her selection of the Cottage Tandoori. Mrs G and me go there almost every time we visit the fair city. We have also tried the Shapla and Rhaja which did not disappoint in any way with the food - we always favour the smaller, more friendly, atmosphere of the cottage. I've not tried any of the Chineese venues but I do recall having an excellent Sweet and Sour chicken in Dickens Restaurant on Church Street once.

Always sad to hear these horror stories of injury but, I suppose, it comes with the teritory. A footballers career is very short at the best of times and for a lad like this to suffer this and such a low wage is tragic. I wish the lad all the very best and hope the op' is a success and he can continue to earn a few quid on the park.

Bonzo, IHE loves you really - its just his way of letting you know. He's just a ***** cat....so, go chase him around, it'll save him having to go to a gym. :001:

Can't quite remember my first car but, I think, it was a red Tri-Ang thing with two pedals at the front. I don't recall it having any brakes either!!! :004:

Probably more ICT fans in the Midlands than Baggies fans...boing boing! :004:

Fantastic result for Englnad last night - there's no stopping us now. We're gonna win the cup We're gonna win the cup And now yer gotto believe us...... :015: :016: :004: :012:

:021: :021:

I'm up there on 29 July...hint hint... :004: :004: Seems like a nice time of the year to me.

Looking for cheap fuel? Check out this web site (below) - it claims to search for the cheapest fuel in your given area. Could save you a few bob. It seems to work ok for me. Its free to sign up and they'll e-mail you each week with an update. Worth a try eh! http://www.petrolprices.com/

NO - I'm on the night shift... :004: :001:

Ah Haaa!...so that's why your leaving Leicester then??????

Drink lots n lots n lots of water.....then go for a walk to Carrbridge... :004:

Ooooer, such is competition! ....reckon i'll just bring me bucket n spade.... :009: :009:

Good point - we bang on about our famous 1-3 back in Feb 2000 don't we?

Well done Bonzo. :clapping02: :clapping02: :clapping02: :clapping02:

Got to agree with that CD. Although I'd like to see my country do well its the media hype that really gets my goat too. There are times I want my country to screw it up just to see those media types crawl back under their shells.

Oh the sweet memories of Carrbridge Bunkhouse.... :015: :015: :014:

Yes, I know the one, we've used that a few times and has always been good....well, better than the one on the main street anyway.

"I think I need a huuuuug"

According to reports the NHS are to introduce 'on line' eyesight tests for dedicated football fans. They seem to think that many fans strain their eyes during games. A trial verion can be found below. Free eye test trial

I've always found the West End chippy one of the best (never used to be mind) in Inverness. Used the Chip Inn in Nairn a few times too....didn't this place close down last year or was it just a temp' closure?

Well that's ok then.... :004:

A man boarded an aircraft at Heathrow and took his seat. As he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! She took the seat right beside him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or Holiday?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States". He swallowed hard... here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish. Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and quiet..... "I'm sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said... "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

Somebody said the divorce was something to do with cheating at Twister... ..... [attachment deleted by admin]