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I like this idea. Doran, Foran, Shinnie, Shinnie, Tade, Nade and Cox: the ICT equivalent of the firemen from Trumpton*. *Those under about 35 will probably have to look this up, depressingly enough.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um..equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted.

Don't know if it would make it worth resigning him, but Robert Eagle bore an uncanny similarity to Windy... Around the same vintage as Noddy, but different shows. Noddy came from Toyland, in an unspecified county of England, and was the invention of Enid Blyton, presumably under the influence of some sort of mushroom... Trumpton was one of three shows set in different communities in the county of Trumptonshire - the others were Camberwick Green and Chigley. Trumpton was a handsome, substantial market town and civic centre - similar to Inverness, perhaps. Camberwick Green was set in an insular landward village and involved all manner of questionable goings-on inside a giant musical box - clearly the Dingwall of the trio. Chigley was coarser and more industrialised, containing a factory and a railway line - think Invergordon or Alness...

Highlights of yesterday's game are available here... http://www.elgincity.co.uk/

My views at 4am Esson didnt have anything to do that i can remember but I've absolutely no worries about the GK department. Proctor I thought he was alright.. He did get beaten for pace by Jason Crooks/Craig Gunn a few times (as did the whole midfield and defence) which is a bit of a worry. But his versatility makes him an important squad player. Aldred looked solid and has given me a wee bit more faith in our defence going into the new season but we are still really lacking in numbers in defence. Rosscoe gave his usual solid as a rock performance.. We could do with another one or two of him. Gillet again no better than alright from me.. Looked better going forward than defending, sold himself a few times. Ross another fine performance from nick and I'm looking forward to seeing him in his second year in the spl. I'd like to see him chip in with a few goals this year. Tansey much improved performance from Greg compared with the Forres game(in part down to elgins midfield being poorer and less up and at um than forres'). Always offering himself as an option and looking to get the ball. He likes a long ball..I'd just like to see more of them arrive into feet. But his shooting left a lot to be desired today. Morrisson I thought had a really good game. Dictated a lot of the play taking hold of the middle of the park. From the two games I've seen so far I'd be picking gav over tansey assuming coxy is first choice in central midfield, Greig It was good to see Andrew get a lot of game time (just a shame it came at the cost of an injury to Graeme..hope it's not s bad one, I did notice he was hobbling around ICTs dugout) Thought he had a decent game. He's va tricky wee player but at times he's got all the stepovers etc but is going nowhere. It'll be interesting to see if Terry gives him a shot in the spl.. He's the kinda guy I'd like to see running at tiring defences. A. Shinnie is not a forward so I dont understand Terry playing him there in the two games I've seen. He's alright but IMO no better than those that were released (dani/Eric) Richie was my mom today not just for his three goals but because without him I don't know what we'd do. IMO he was in a league of his own. Totally committed and winning everything. But if he's going to be deployed as a striker he's going to need someone to play alongside him.. Someone to win the second balls and latch on to the flick ons. Subs Tuffey had one good double save but looked a wee bit shaky from some crosses but like I said no worries regarding GK. Jack Sutherland looked a good prospect. Nice attacking full back but don't see him getting much action in the spl. Polworth showed why he's held in such high regard, always desperate to get on the ball with an eye for a pass. Cooper/G. Shinnie didn't have enough time to do right or wrong, My analysis.. In an ideal world We need another one or two centre halves still and a right back (K gilbert perhaps? Not seen him) and being really greedy I'd like another utility defender to cover a few positions. I'm not too worried about midfield at the moment. Another winger perhaps but Ross and Hayes I'd imagine would be first picks there. I'd be happy to see Stuart Duff back also. We need an out n out striker or two.. Someone we can rely on m to get at least double figures goals a season. In general in still very worried about how small our squad is.. We are going to have little to no depth.

We have to look at putting together a squad which is not decimated when we lose 2 or 3 of the first choice players - it seems to me that Terry and Mo - quite rightly in my view are taking on a bunch of promising youngsters who have undoubtedly been told that they are at ICT to prove that they can do their stuff on the field of play as well as having the potential on the trsining ground. In that sense peeple either improve - at differing rates - or fail. In our position that is always worth taking a chance on.

If you are genuinely interested in a pub crawl from the Lion Brewery to Aldershot stadium, I can give you a list of venues (Standard of England, Ash United FC clubhouse, Greyhound, etc). Up to 1/2 mile between some of the pubs and you could get through roughly 7 or 8 boozers before stumbling up to the ground. However, if there are a few of you, I would suggest trying to arrange a 'guided tour' of the Hogs Back Brewery (www.hogsback.co.uk). This is a real brewery and well worth doing the tour. Last time I went on it, it was 8 quid a head and I'm sure I had at least 8 quids worth of beer on the way round - they dont scrimp on the ale sampling!!! The place is in Tongham and a short ride from the lion brewery (maybve 1.5 miles). Down the road from there as well is a decent boozer called the White Hart which itself does an excellent range of beers! The White hart has live music on as regular basis and also has regular beer festivals which are well worth a visit! Around the football ground, your pub options would include the Crimea pub just over the road from the home end of the ground. Probably the busiest pub pre-match if that is what you are looking for. Large beer garden out the front. Under the railway bridge about 100m further along the High Street is a pub called The Beehive. This place has a bit of a reputation for aggro although I doubt many of the wee forehead Burberry capped lot will be looking for trouble on a friendly match day. If you go up Redan Hill (turn left up the hill immediately after the railway bridge), you will find the "La Fontaine" pub at the top of the hill on the roundabout. That is pretty much right where the (quite well hidden) away fans entrance is found. However, I have always found this pub to be pretty dreary and serving poor quality beers by utterly disinterested staff! One street down from there however (on Staff Road), you will find the Royal Staff pub which is unlikely to be hugely busy but does serve probably the best ales in town and is away fan friendly and also has a good beer garden out the back. Hope that helps. Scott

Don't know, the defence looks potentially a bit flimsy as Proctor ain't much good and Aldred is as of yet an unknown package. The midfield is far too lightweight and Tade up front could be great or could be rubbish (or both!). This is one of the most important periods in Butcher's time as boss I reckon. It's a risk - if he gets it right, he and the club could have a good season - if he gets it wrong then it'll be bye bye Butcher and maybe even to the SPL.