IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

Aye, it was inevitable that Colin Pish was gonna score against us. Over the last 10 years he has been a thorn in our side for Clyde, Killie, Hibs and now Dundee. The only surprise is that he never scored against us when he was at Hartlepool! I would have been chuffed if we had landed Nish but - despite his goal - he is at the end of his career and he does not fit in to a Dungdee outfit that looks like a team that would have benefitted fro another season in the SFL and went with their yoof. It will be a battle with the Tinks fer 12th place and Colin Nish will be the joker who will take them down

Well that was a another feckin fine away day with Terry and Mo - better than expected following groom Sneck and did we sing and should we be on feckin X Factor ? As fer the game - we basically did to Dungdee what we have allowed the Old Filth to do to us fer years - we blew them away in the first ten minutes - then we were solid an patient - and then we killed them off. Sure the game looked in the balance until the Shinnie penalty but I certainly didn't feel uneasy throughout and I felt that if they equalised we could have raised our game and won anyway. But let's feckin face it - anywhere away in the SPL - when you do not exactly play at your best but you win and score four goals - I would take that any feckin day. My only slight beef initially was that TB didn't try out Shane as an out and out centre forward and even when he took him on he played him wide feckin right. Shure McKay scored two and was really lively but that was against a ragged defence and I still do not feel that he should start up front on his own. TB wasted Rastamouse last nite as well. but hey feckin HO. REGUERO. 7/10. He comes from Sunny Spain - he's never heard of Tain - at the moment his eccentricity and his uniqueness are entertaining but I would like to see Esson back becos I fear that our loveable wee spaniard may be due a Manueline moment - but there again so did a wee man called Calder. RAVEN 8/10. MOM - OK I may be being generous but here is a wee question fer ya - would you prefer to have Tokely or Doeadeer at rite back ? - my answer is NO - poor Raven really has been Proctorised and got some kip ANY time he made the slightest mistake. He will never be a ramshackle attacking force but he has a real "head" for the game and he is feckin SOLID defensively. SHINNIE 6/10 I thought that he struggled last night and he really looks susceptible when he faces an out and out winger with pace. by the way who was the nippy wee **** on the rite ? WARREN 8/10. Hats off to TB and the scout who unearthed this feckin signing. he simply looks better and better every time I see him and he will score in double figures this season - and I don't need any feckin the cups to prophecy that - another question - Warren or Munro ?? MEEKINGS. 6/10. Again I thought that he was a bit dodgy last nite and Warren covered his ass on a few occasions but he is there to stay in central defence. RASTAMOUSE 5/10. Was his talent wasted last nite or wot ? He is not a feckin wide defensive minded individual - the boy is a feckin forward who needs to be played with a foil like Foran or Sutherland. He simply should NOT be played with McKay in a 4-5-1. DRAPER. 6/10. Well not his best nite but he scores again and he is solid enuff to boot - Question - Duncan or Draper ? OTJ 6/10. Sorry but he simply does not float my boat. he looks a wee bit lost when he is in the mis Dudley of a fast flowing battle. He has a great touch and a good pass but he really does move more like a giraffe than the type of animal that ya need in midfield. SHINNIE. 8/10. Very close to MOM and revelled in a free role and extra responsibility which he does not always get when Foraan starts. he could be a real match winner if we play him rite. DORAN 6/10. Is he an annoying inconsistent wee ******* or wot ? Was he Jekyll and Hyde last nite but at least we saw glimpses of class McKay 7/10. Tucked away the goals well and runs his feckin heart out BUT iI still rate him as a real good squad member and I pray that Foran is back for St Jones Town as TB will play him lone up front which - at home - would be a big mistake. SHANE 5/10. He came on and I thought - lets go fer it and stick him rite up front - and then TB sticks him wide feckin rite in the role that killed off Rastamouse - what the feck !!

Why dont we team him up with Zoomer Pepper ?

Sweet

The cheap uncovered areas are often empty becos the match sheet is insufficient to shelter punters from the elements. What we need to fill those sheets would be a water resisitant Inverness Courier.

Dungdee always shocks me.

The Juanjo Away will be imbibing pre match - it is up to the feckin recruits to find us.

Where the feck is Bingham Legend when we need him.

Went back to Fleetwood last weekend - what a feckin set up, especially with their main stand - £2.00 a pint in the TV ridden Bobs Bar (and screens in the toilet so if ya go fer a wee during the game ya can still watch the action !!) - and even a "chippy" inside the ground (£2.50 fer a cheese burger and a pile of chips) - a tannoy system that you could hear clearly and a full screen in the corner - and Scotty Davies was MOM but Fatboy McNulty was injured.

With or without the horses ?

I couldnt give a puck.

Think that should have read Alan Partridge, Sam Dingle and Nigella Lawson.

I merely take solace and inspiration that I am in front of Stuart Pearce in the betting. Let me throw in my suggestion of a management team comprising of Roberto Martinez, Joe Jordan and Kevin McDonald.

Could sort that out but off to Fleetwood v Wycombe this afternoon and fitting feckin carpets tomorrow !!

That is a great deal but what about £19.99 room at the Fairways Travel Lodge - Harry Gow's next door - good craic in the Golf Club Bar - Innes pre match - North Stand - Innes after - into town - pissshhheed

The Travel Lodge is 0.5 miles from the Railway station up the hill and Marketgait. There is a pub rite across from a Tesco Express. I cant remember the name. PM me yer mobiles and I will give you a shout. I will even introduce you to Mrs IHE !!!

The huge bonus is for the further travelled fans - and you can add Alba in to that pot. Away matches are the easiest to travel to and from and unfortunately Sneckie is still a fair hike. But I really appreciate the opportunity to view as many matches in a season as possible. I know that many will say that you get a far better perspective being at the game but I would disagree as you can view from different angles, replays etc on the box. I don't see why TV viewers of a game live are not allowed to vote in the POY awards.

Party in the Holiday Inn

Well lets see what the inbreds are saying when we visit Tinkerville - we could end up demolishing the stand with the feckin resounding vibrations.

They are revolting.

SMUG - FECKIN RITE ENUFF MUN

I am the pervert underneath

Mrs IHE is going shopping to Livi on the Saturday so will be driving up to Dungdee on the Friday and staying in Travel Lodge overnight - it is rite beside the train station so could meet up and have a few swallies to oil the tonsils. Mannie - will try and stay sensible and do the Match Report !!

Can I recommend the Rhine ?

Beds and pillows - what feckin gypo has that kind of luxury.