DoofersDad

I had a work colleague in Edinburgh who also had the name Donald Duck. Many years ago he fell foul of the Edinburgh constabulary by (allegedly) jumping a red traffic light. The police pulled him over for questioning, and when he told them his name, they cuffed him, and took him to the nearest police station for further questioning! The Donald in Mallaig was my Aunt's cousin and of course was called Donald long before Disney's cartoon duck was ever on the scene. Being a doctor he got all the jokes about being a quack doctor but he never let any of that ruffle his feathers.

I wonder how long we can keep a thread going on ducks on a football forum? But here's an absolutely true story about ducks - or to be more precise, about Duck and duck. My aunt's maiden name was Duck, She died a couple of years ago and I went down South for the funeral. I was staying with my brother and after we left the crematorium we spent some time with my cousins before driving back to my brother's in time for an evening meal. Without thinking, my sister in law had decided on duck for the meal. Now, she is usually a very good cook, but on this occasion when she brought the dish through she announced, "I'm really sorry folks, but I've cremated the duck!" The look of horror on her face when she realised what an indelicate thing that was to say in the circumstances was a joy to behold. We had a good laugh about it but were thankful our cousins were not there to be offended.

Totally agree. So make use of the site's new functions and give the guy a green + Big up, Harry.

But do you honestly think 20,000 folk would make their way to Inverness for either of those bands? And pay ?60-?100+ per ticket? Performers with that kind of pulling-power are few and far between... No. I was musing.

Dear oh dear! This is turning into an old farts wish list. Give me Muse or Green Day. Mind you, if Lulu was to grace the TCS .....

One of the great things about golf is not just that it can be played well by folk who weigh a tad more than they should, but it can also be played very well by folk who who are even older than Charles and me. Different sports need different aspects to excell at and whilst a level of physical fitness and strength help in golf, the main attributes are the ability to strike a ball, good judgement, fine control in putting etc. It is a complex range of skills and for that reason, for me, is far more compelling to play and watch than sports which rely on one specific attribute such as strength or speed. One of the joys of sport is that different sports require different skills or combinations of skills to excell and whilst we will all have our favourites. People makes sheds loads of money in particular sports due to a combination of 2 factors. Firstly lots of people enjoy watching the sport and secondly, they are very good at what they do. My message to fat b*****rds who win lots of money in their chosen sport is "good on yer!" And as for Monty, I'm with Heilandee. He's a golfer. He plays golf and he plays it (or played it) very well. As long as he abides by the rules and etiquette of the game then I really don't think it matters how objectionable or miserable he may be when he's not on the course. Majors apart, he has a fantastic record and is one of the all time great players. Respect.

Just belatedly seen this. A fantastic effort from the youngsters!

Stratford scored for Hereford in a 4 - 1 defeat by Swindon last night. Scorline suggests Lionel might have been playing as well :)

No.

What! No goals in the 2nd half! Did Andy Barrowman make a guest appearance?

Presumably she doesn't pay the taxes to fund the police to protect decent folk from thugs like Moat

It all sounds good for us but best not put any money on Clach winning the Highland League.

New FIFA rankings today England are up 1 to 7th after their heroic world cup campaign France down to 21st

How long have you got? To cut a long story short. When we moved here we asked BT to transfer our Broadband account. We were informed of a go live date. No Broadband. New neighbours told us this was a Broadband black spot. BT orders told us Broadband was connected and we should speak to their tech people. BT tech people said they couldn't help because orders hadn't processed it yet. Back to orders who said they had. Contacted 3 other service providers who in less than 15 seconds were able to tell me from phone number or postcode that we wouldn't get Broadband. Told BT this who responded to say we could get Broadband because they had connected us. BT said we must have a faulty modem so sent another one. Surprise, surprise, it didn't work. BT then sent an engineer (not a BT employee) to test the line. Engineer said that he didn't know why BT had sent him as you can't get Broadband here. Engineer submitted report electronically to BT from our house. A week later BT informed me that they would not be able to pursue the matter until they had the engineers report. About 2 weeks later BT phoned to tell me the engineers report showed I couldn't get Broadband. They then phoned twice more to tell me - I said I knew that. Meanwhile they had been billing me and making threatening noises about me not paying my bill. I said that I wasn't paying for a service I wasn't getting. BT said I was getting Broadband because they'd connected me. During this period I spent well over 20 hours on the phone mostly waiting in interminable queues, then speaking to someone who had no details of my account and who then tried to tell me I had to phone the tech people or the order people or anybody as long as it wasn't them. I insisted on speaking to supervisors but nobody would take responsibility that they were charging me for a service I had never received and which they were not technically able to provide. Bills continued when we changed the phone service to the excellent Talk Talk. Finally after about 3 months they agreed I had been overcharged. I wrote a letter of complaint which was in bullet points and still ran to about 9 pages. The reply was an acknowledgement and a promise to pass my letter to the sections concerned. No apology. In my experience BT have managed to take organisational incompetence to staggering new lows. The reason we did not have Broadband was that BT could not be a**ed to update an old exchange on the Black Isle even though HIE had offerred to pay the full cost. We now have a wireless link through Avanti which is beamed across from Tulloch Castle and whilst pricey, it is very reliable. BT - Bloody Terrible.

Excuse me if I don't join in the elation. I think Esson did a great job last year and I have no doubt he can perform well in the SPL. Clearly we need cover but it looks as though Max Johnson will provide that very nicely. I accept that in the SPL you probably need a third keeper but probably a young lad learning the trade. Whilst Tuffey knows what he's coming to, I wonder if Esson and Johnson knew what lay ahead when they signed their contracts. Esson will not have signed to be number 2 and Johnson won't have signed to be number 3. I think we will have 1 or maybe 2 very unhappy keepers in the squad. I also don't buy the competition is good line. Remember all the hoo ha about England and the lack of clarity about who the number 1 keeper was? Everyone was saying how this was a confidence thing and the keepers needed to know they were considered as number 1. The thing is that if you feel that any mistake means you're on the bench next week then you lose confidence and are more likely to make that mistake. To be honest, I've not seen enough of Tuffey to make a judgement on whether he should be number 1 or 2 but although clearly he's highly rated I don't think we need him and I don't think Esson and Johnson are going to be too happy tonight. What we need is at least a couple of good signings in the back 4 and presumably the signing of Tuffey limits the available cash for that. I look forward to a keeper being sold in the January transfer window at a sizeable profit. The new season can't be too far away - the moaning has started again!

I think you would find him interesting. He is quite capable of doing a Ronnie Radford but it would be a 50:50 chance of whether it was intended as a shot or a pass back. The lad has obviouosly got a lot of natural ability. It is a question of how capable he is of learning how to use his talents and what guidance he gets on and off the park. With a good leader in the defence to keep him right I think he could do a useful job - as long as you don't mind your heart being in your mouth from time to time.

BBC are reporting that it is "a man resembling Moat" who currently has about 100 guns trained on him. When the forthcoming public spending cuts take effect, the next time there is a simlar incident they may only be able to afford 75 trained marksmen surrounding the guy. I really don't know how I am going to sleep at night with the worry of it.

One can imagine Gazza's opening words. "Hi Raoul, the police have asked me to have a word with you before they use force. So, how about giving this one last shot?"

Put it this way - we get Ryan Esson from you and you get Dan Stratford from us - that's fine by me.

Apparently the shop owner tried to escape out the back door but Moat had the place surrounded.

I was wondering this myself....they have won it something like 3 times previously. Pretty amazing feat! They won it twice but that was when the tourney was just invitation and treated less than seriously. Only in 1966/1970 did it become something of importance. Apart from this year, they've only made it past the first round twice since 1970 and failed to qualify in 5 out of 10 world cups since that date. Better than Wales sure but not 'decent'. Renowned for cheating too. Spitting, injury-attempting tackles, injury-feigning (before the rest of the world caught up), timewasting. It's a pity that's now the norm. I agree they have a less than savoury reputation in the past but I've been impressed by them this year. They have played really well as a team with Foran being outstanding. I've been impressed with their attitude. There has been none of the old Uruguay this time round but I think they have suffered from their reputation and decisions have gone against them. They should have had a penalty against Ghana before all the drama and Van Bommel should have been red carded before the Van Bronkhorst wonder strike. They've reached the semi-finals of the world cup and are ranked 16 in the world. For a country with a population just 60% of that of Scotland, that seems pretty decent to me. For me, they have been one of the plus points of a generally disappointing world cup.

Which bit? The false teeth? Looking good in the video I'll admit but she must be getting on a bit. I saw Curved Air back in 1971 I think it must have been. They were brilliant .

Absolute perfection - but he should never have got the chance. The referee should have blown for a horrendous, potential leg breaking challenge by Van Bommel which could and probably should have seen him red carded. If the Uruguay lad had writhed around like the Dutch do rather than just picking himself up and getting on with it, things may have been different. The more the match went on the more I wanted Uruguay to win.

Looking forward to seeing the Israeli lad Blumenshtein firing a few shots at the Arabs.

I like to think that the numbers 1 to 11 are taken by the players the manager feels are his best starting 11. By the end of the season when there is nobody on the pitch with a number under 12 you can see just how wrong he was.