IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

Latapy is bound to have been on the pish at this time of year.

Your wish is my command - JOHNBOY - "IT'S BEHIND YOU" :015: :015: :015: :015:

At least I did ma feckin leg at the gym. Here is a piccy of an amputation set to cheer ya up.

Gastrocenimus - Old feckin age ya mean.

You feckin agree :017:

I found this downloadable alternative on Feb 8th's site.

Thanks Fiona - Give ma love to Wayne.

:021: :021: :021: Well as it is an established tradition may I present ma annual Pantomime and this year it is SNECKERELLA. :001: Once upon a time in the fabled land of Sneck lived a noble gentleman called Sandy Cromarty. He had one beautiful daughter called f*ballers wife, born to his late wife Albertine Plough. He had remarried the powerful maimie, chair of the local WRI, who had two precocious daughters of her own - Lg and Loopy. :010: Poor f*tballers wife soon became a mere housekeeper and servant as the wicked maimie and jealous stepsisters became fed up of her ability to attract he-men like Johnboy, Action Man and Airborne Jake. :006: She was subjected to arduous tasks like holding Virgin parties and smearing oils on the likes of Heilandee. :019: Meanwhile Lg sought favours through free taxi rides and Loopy went commando. :010: Then one day the King of Sneck (Caley D :006: - grandiosed post mover) called a Xmas Ball to celebrate the 21st birthday of the handsome prince (IHE) :004: All the lords and ladies of the land were to be invited, plus the Paulie Bees and King Beastie.Lg and Loopy wet themselves, Alex Macleod hurdled a fence and :015: :015: :015: The two step sisters rushed to Nicols to purchase their gowns. Bonzo laughed and mocked - BOOOOOO :001: On the night of the Dillingers Ball f*ballers wife sat sadly in her bedroom. Then suddenly - POOF - no not Feb 8th - twas Fairy Scotty - naked apart from a small maple leaf. :015: :015: "You shall go to the ball" - he declared. He asked f*ballers wife to go to the garden and fetch a pumpkin. She returned with a cucumber but was sent back fer the pumpkin. Scotty wove his stick and the pumpkin was transfomred into a Highland Omnibus. They needed some old fecker to drive it and POOF - up popped Buckett. Gordyfromsneck took over the conducting duties. Six white rats were transformed into footmen - Mann4thejob, Hairy Chibber, RIG, ICT Chris, Kencar and Caley100 - well the former was a six footman. :001: They elegantly provided a guard of honour for the beautiful f*ballers wife who wore a wonderous old pair of Jimmy Calders fitba boots. "And dont forget to leave before 3.00 am" cried the Mountie or the moose or......."Or Brosnon will start posting again!!!" The ball itself was a bit of a shambles and not well thought out. It was being staged by CC Mangement Ltd. And the two bouncers - Dodsy and Granty, were frightening. They didnt just kick ya out - they hoofed ya 100 yards down the feckin street. :015: :015: :015: f*ballers wife was having the time of her life. She fought of the attention of DMacca who thought that she had a lovely pair of Bristols, Gabby who wanted to go down under, Mooncat who wanted to restrain her and the Sponge who serenaded her under the Blue Moon. She also had to run from the Ladies toilet when she was accosted by a small, well known local journalist, dressed in a towel :015: :015: :015: The bells tolled three and she hurriedly fled but one of Jimmy Calders boots flew off. :010: Poor IHE was inconsolable. Even the plight of Tinkerville and the crying Huns could not mend his broken heart. He sought legal advice but could only find a downbeat Jeggie called Kingsmills. He chose him as the only alternative was Red n Black Comeback. The land of Sneck was searched and not a stone was left unturned. Not even the one Paul Le Guen had hidden under. And then the search led to the shack of Sandy Cromarty pitched on Beachcomber Beach in Nairn. Lg and Loopy wet themselves in anticipation but the boot didnt fit. "What about Sneckerella" shouted Sandy. f*ballers wife slipped on the boot which fitted snugly. She was carried back to the Howden Place. f*ballers wife and IHE were married the following day. They had one daughter - Queen Beastie- and 23 sons who won the SPL in 2010. And they all live happily ever after. HAPPY NEW FECKIN YEAR :015: :015: :015:

Lets hope Falkirk are not the Lithium for our mania.

If we avoid losing anyone do we really need to spend? Fraser is a reliable back up and it must be odds on that Brownie wont be here next season. We may need cover fer Dods but that could be a Summertime task. Cowie of the Tinks could be a replacement fer Bazza. Up front could be a case of will Dargo stay or go? For once my moles inform me that there is little behind the scene action going on.

It was nice to see Morgan back in the fray. I wonder if Charlie is actually considering either starting Morgan at left back and moving Hastings forward or starting Morgan in left midfield - and then going back to the Rankin/Black duo in the middle of the park?

Well, if they are all fit, it is a shure bet what the starting X1 is going to be and CC appears to have finally sussed out a system. But there are a few resolutions that some of the players should be considering fer 2008: BROWNIE - Practice penalties - Some of his saving attempts resemble my feckin efforts on Fifa 2007. :015: :015: ROSSCOE - Back on the Brewster diet and training manual - perhaps some professional osteopathy as well. He looks as stiff as a feckin pensioner at times. DODS and MUNRO - Some video watching of Blobby Mann and some cut out figures of Rankin, Black and Wilson 10-20 foot in front of them and directions to find their feckin feet. HASTINGS - To be shown that full backs can actually go past the opposition 18 yard line and that there is another feckin line closer to the feckin corners. BAZZA - Back on the Brewster diet and training manual - A Keep feckin right sign as well. BLACK - A book on how to channel yer adrenaline - or how to kick cnuts professionally and get away with it - written by Darren Dods. A firm role to play deep and playmake. McBAIN - An implant that allows him to look and think first and to follow Hastings to the feckin bye line. RANKIN - A permanent position in a permanent system. A Bazza type role on the left and freedom to smack the fecker at goals at his liberty. DARGO - An injury free run and to adapt a psychie that informs some of the others that he is on the move and in a clear passing position. WYNESS - Some goals to enhance his confidence. BAYNE - To watch the Hun game video and seewhat he can do if he thinks about it. CC - a free telephone connection to maself for advice and direction. MASELF - I am going to stop winding people up. :001:

Would ya all agree that one of the reasons that the Huns performance was so insipid is that Plug has opted to play a European type game and some of his players looked feckin bemused at the pace of the game and the constant harrying. I can understand how that style has taken them through the lower ranks of the UEFA Cup but it may never win them anything on the domestic scene. At least our Foreign **** can run and hoof like a true Scotsman.

I am reliably informed that the tantrum has cost him his place in the starting X1 for Falkirk.

Just wait till 4.45 on Saturday. The Doodah Band will play those negative vibes again.

is an

Lets all sneak into the Copeland Road next game.

How the feck am I supposed to keep a check on ma Manic Depressive Psychosis when all this feckin crap is going on.

Darren Dods :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: If it wasnt fer the feckin net it would have ended up in feckin Munlochy

It could be worse -we could be Ross County. :001:

Great wind up from Bonzo. As I said before if ya cant motivate yerselves for the Old Filth ????? :018: :018: CC played the team and formation that has been totally evident to most of us fer ages. What a stroke of brilliance swapping Bayne for Rory and playing Wyness in the "hole". Then playing Black in a deeper role and giving Rankin more of the ball. This sounds like my post from the Pars debacle. The one shrewd tactical move was bringing on Morgan to counter the threat of Burke. And I paid specific attention to Dods and Munro and the total number of "passes" out of mid defence last night were THREE whereas Hastings and Rosscoe regularly looked to play to feet. All in all a great win BUT the examination will be at Falkirk and v Midden. Watch this space. :001:

Feck me - have they invented education in Nairn or did Tiptoe find a feckin dictionary washed up on the beach.

I have to say that Bonzo's contributions are feckin great - in a Squirrelesque kind of way. Although he is applaudingly winding most people up he has a lot of strong arguments. :011:

I think that roast canary could catch on as a Xmas delicacy - speccially down Tractorboyville. :023: The problem CC really has now is that he is on a hiding to nothing. I expect that we will put on a good show against the Huns as we can play our accustomed hit on the break game as they will have the large majority of the possession. It is the games against the Bairns, Midden and Stirling that will make or break CC. But will he go out and attack cos he simply cannot look at 3 or 4 defeats.

But then I would come on and shore up the gap.