IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

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Feck me I know you are wee enuff to get under a turnstile but Under 12 - get tae feck. :015: :015: :015:

So what is the crack about the next game for the Sneck Azzuri CB? Inverness manager Charlie Christie, meanwhile, and his squad were yesterday preparing to conclude a successful Tuscany tour. The Highlanders play the second of two friendlies in Italy today but will put their feet up to watch the World Cup final on Sunday. The players were kept wide awake well into the early hours of Wednesday as Italy's World Cup semi-final triumph was greeted by chaotic scenes of wild celebration. Around their hotel in Montecatini Terme, the locals took to the streets in numbers, honking car horns and riding three to a moped with drinks in hand as they savoured the moment. Having been greeted so warmly in the picturesque spa town in a country where football is worshipped, the Inverness manager and his players have sworn loyalty to the Italian cause. In the countdown to today's clash with an amateur regional side, Christie said: "With everything that has happened for Italy in the World Cup, this has been a very special place to be." Caley Jags won their opening game against local amateurs Montecatini Terme 12-0 but Christie admits he is hoping today's opponents are a much tougher proposition.

INVERNESS ISSUE ULTIMATUM AFTER RANKIN HITCH ANDREW DICKSON 08:50 - 08 July 2006 Caley Thistle have warned John Rankin's agent he must lower his demands in the next 24 hours or they will drop their interest in the player. Despite agreeing a £65,000 fee with Ross County for the midfielder on Wednesday, Rankin's protracted transfer had still not been completed last night. Inverness director of football Graeme Bennett believes that is down to the 23-year-old's representative, Tom Callaghan, rather than the player himself. Callaghan had anticipated a rapid conclusion after Caley Jags made their first bid for his client six months ago but, according to Bennett, he is now responsible for the stand-off that has ensued. Bennett said: "There is no movement and we seem to be in stalemate just now. The agent is not letting things go through because he does not think it is right for the player. "He seems to think the terms we are offering are not good enough but whether John is saying that is another matter. I would suggest that the last section says it all

For the benefit of the overseas contingent here is the Daily Retard report and some IHE conclusions. :003: :003: 7 July 2006 RECORD BREAKERS CALEY SLAUGHTER SORRY PART-TIMERS By Alasdair Fraser Montecatini 0 Inverness CT 12 INVERNESS romped to a club-record victory last night as they tore their Italian hosts to shreds. Montecatini Terme played in strips similar to those worn by Argentina, but their play was anything but silky as they fell behind just seconds after kick-off. Rory McAllister, who set another club record with the fastest goal, put Charlie Christie's side ahead after just 19 seconds. The Inverness youngster and team-mate Craig Dargo netted half their side's dozen with a hat-trick apiece. Caley Thistle may be viewed disparagingly as the honest toilers of the SPL but they produced all the cultured football in a region renowned for opera, olive oil and Renaissance art. The margin of victory surpassed the previous best of 8-1 against Annan Athletic. With their opponents looking more lower Highland League than the tour organisers' Scottish Second Division standard billing, the match quickly turned into a stroll. The heavens opened for a Scottish style downpour just after kick-off in a slightly surreal but spectacular Tuscan setting in the shadows of the hilltown peak of Montecatini Alto. Despite Italy being swept by World Cup fervour ahead of Sunday's Final, there were only eight spectators in evidence at kick-off. McAllister's header from an Alan Morgan cross was quickly followed by a thunderous Barry Wilson volley in two minutes. A brief purple patch from the hosts saw a scorching strike from Leo Cappablanca parried by keeper Mark Brown but Liam Keogh's simple sidefoot in 27 minutes and McAllister's equally easy effort minutes later, after the Italian defence went AWOL, made the friendly look like shooting practice. McAllister completed his first-half treble with a fine strike in 20 minutes. Ian Black's shimmy past two men early in the second half ended with a clinical shot past hapless home keeper Massimo Macchi. Number seven was rocketed home from an angle by substitute Dargo after the hour. There was thunder and lightening in the skies as Russell Duncan hit the eighth with the rarest of headers after 67 minutes. Dargo hit No.2 minutes later and, with a cleverly re-directed finish for his hat-trick, made it 10-0 after 77 minutes. Stuart McCaffrey's closerange finish two minutes later was followed by a Wyness effort, slipped into the net to complete the record haul. INVERNESS - Brown, Parratt, Dods, Munro, Golabek, Wilson, Keogh, McBain, Morgan, McAllister, Wyness. Subs: Fox, Dargo, Bayne, McCaffrey, Fraser, Duncan, Black. Parratt in at right back and Proctor excluded :010: Black and Dargo on the bench but both showed their worth when taken on :010: :010: Dods capitano and an Italian Machine :010: [move]READ BETWEEN THE FECKIN LINES :015: :015: :015:[/move]

[move]READ ALL ABOUT IT IN THE RUMOUR MILL[/move] :011: :011:

What a feckin fantastic quote from the Daily Retard and Alisdair Fraser "Caley Thistle may be viewed disparagingly as the honest toilers of the SPL but they produced all the cultured football in a region renowned for opera, olive oil and Renaissance art." :clapping04: :clapping04: :clapping04:

What about yerself ya stoopid ****.

I am reliably informed, by a Juve penpal, that this game will end 3-2 to ICT with a last minute penalty winner. :015: :015: :015:

WOW. :010: :010: Maybe the rumours were true about Keogh's todger and Rosscoe has got a tiddler. Must contact Squirrel fer an update.

But there is still hope the groin and pelvic flare-up could set Tokely back weeks rather than months.

May I suggest that you do not pick the following team for any knockout games in the future: DAVID JAMES JAMIE CARRACHER GARTEH SOUTHGATE STUART PEARCE DAVID BATTY DAVID BECKHAM STEVEN GERRARD FRANK LAMPARD CHRIS WADDELL PETER CROUCH DARIUS VASSELL [move] :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015:[/move]

Putting my plaster up in the front room pondering on wheteher to wear my Argentina or brazil tops. :001: :001:

Fer fecks sake lets get down to the nitty gritty. Does DS or Lilly Savage now owe me a double voddie and coke? :008: :008:

It could well go that we start of the season with practically the same squad as we had last season. Personally I think the pros outweigh the cons. My only real concern is that we will eventually miss out on much needed spondoolachs if Black and Dargo do not sign up a new contract. Financially it makes a lot of sense, keeps together the team spirit. What do yas fink?

[move]WHAT FECKIN BULLSHIT[/move] TRAINING WITH KIDS WILL BREW YOU GOOD SPL LATEST CRAIG BREWSTER has told his three Dundee United outcasts he is sending them to train with the Tannadice kids for their own good. Jim McIntyre, Paul Ritchie and David Fernandez reported back for pre-season yesterday and were immediately steered away from the first team and told to join in the Under-19s'session. The trio, who were put on the transfer list at the end of last season, have been in severance negotiations with chairman Eddie Thompson for the past three months but are all still some way away from agreeing packages to leave. United boss Brewster said: "Jim, Paul and David will be training with the Under-19s until they find other clubs. "I talked to them about it because this scenario is not ideal for any of us but they are three professionals and I'm sure they will continue to do their best. "I know they are desperate to move on and continue their careers so in order to do that they'll have to be in good shape. "Other managers are looking at the situation so if they kick on and get a good pre-season under their belt they'll get new clubs. "The chairman is out of the country until next week so it's difficult to say when things will be finally resolved. "When he gets back he'll look at the situation because it needs to be dealt with."

FRASER'S LIVI LOAN DEAL HITS SNAG ANDREW DICKSON 08:50 - 28 June 2006 Michael Fraser is likely to remain at Caley Thistle after the SPL ruled out any chance of him being recalled from a loan spell at Livingston in the event of an injury crisis at Inverness. The 22-year-old goalkeeper, a back-up to Mark Brown for four seasons, had been poised to join Livi for the new campaign. His temporary transfer would have been on the condition that he could return north at any point, but top-flight officials have said that cannot happen. That now leaves Caley Jags manager Charlie Christie with a dilemma as he wants his second-choice goalkeeper to gain more experience. Fraser has just three SPL appearances, two of them as a substitute, to his name so far. But with no other senior players in the same position and no plans to recruit anyone else in that department, Christie has no choice but to retain Fraser's services. Christie said: "We wouldn't be able to just recall Michael from Livingston. Things are, sadly, a bit more complicated than that. The move is not completely dead yet, but it looks unlikely. "I spoke to someone at the SPL about the situation and they have a problem with that fact we don't feel our under-19 goalkeeper Jonathan Smith is ready to step up and play every week. "I am a fan of Michael Fraser, as a lot of people at the club are, and he is definitely my number two goalkeeper, but I feel he needs to get a bit more experience. "Going to Livingston would have been ideal for him, but it seems he will stay here and compete with Mark now as the gap between them has definitely lessened in the last 18 months."

Don't like the feckin sound of that :010: :010: Meanwhile, Hibernian face an eight-hour journey to eastern Europe in the InterToto Cup next month after learning they will face Latvians Dinaburg in the second round. Dinaburg were surprisingly held to a 1-1 draw at home by HB Torshavn last weekend but they saw off their Faroe Islands opponents 2-1 on aggregate – courtesy of a 48th minute own goal from Vagnur Mohr Mortensen on Saturday. Tony Mowbray's side will now take on the Latvians on Sunday in Edinburgh but face a four-hour flight and four-hour bus journey for the second leg a week later.

What seasons is that based on Don? I can feel a P&B thread coming on!! :003: :005:

[move]He's fat, he's round, he's worth a million pounds..JOHNDO :016:[/move]

But I feckin told ya what was going to happen last month. :017: :017:

Just look at the Tinks!! :015: :015: :015: Airdrie - AWAY Liviscum - HOME Gretna - AWAY St Johnstone - AWAY

Have you got a fecked up leg as well TM4TJ?? :015: :015: :015: [move]Try these fer feckin size then[/move] From the 1998 World Cup - Who is the odd one out and why? - Zidane, Beckham, Kluivert and Del Piero Which team entered the pitch described as "a herd of elephants" in 1994? Who decked the English pitch invader in 1966? Which Scottish referee was "perfect" in 1954? Who is the only woman, on record, to have refereed at the World Cup Finals?

Feckin good festive period!! Pars AWAY on 23/12 HUNS at HOME on 27/12 BAIRNS AWAY on 30/12 MIDDEN at HOME on New years day :clapping04: :clapping04: :clapping04:

AND ABOUT FECKIN TIME TOO 22 June 2006 CHRISTIE'S AT DODS OVER UNITED BIDS By Euan Mcarthur CHARLIE CHRISTIE last night threatened to take action against Dundee United if they make any illegal moves to land Inverness' top stars. The Caley Thistle manager issued the threat amid renewed speculation defender Darren Dods has knocked back a new deal to stay at Caledonian Stadium. United boss Craig Brewster has made no secret of the fact he'd like his former Inverness trio of Dodds, David Proctor and Ian Black to join up with him again at Tannadice. But Christie's patience finally snapped as the Highlanders reported back for pre-season training yesterday. He said: "I'm disappointed with some of the comments coming from Dundee United. "I don't know how true they are but if I find out they're speaking to any of our under - contract players we'll be taking it further." Christie's comments follow a recent outburst by club chairman David Sutherland who accused United of making similar approaches back in April. Meanwhile, Black is set to hold crunch talks with the club tomorrow to discuss his immediate future. The highly-rated former Blackburn trainee was the subject of a failed bid by United earlier this summer. Inverness told United the 21-year-old is not for sale but the player wants to sit down with club officials and agent Gary Mackay after learning of the Tayside outfit's interest in him. Black, who is contracted to Inverness for next term, said: "I'm going to sit down with my agent and speak to the club about things on Friday. I'm happy up here but I'll have to see what the club has to offer. "I thought I did quite well last season for Inverness and I want to progress just as much again this season."