CELTIC1CALEY3

Last year Denzil and Dargo went on a goal spree. This year we lack regular goal scorers. Teams who fail to convert chances fail to win games. We can but be gloomy about our next game against the potential European Champions,.

We could play Ian Stewart as a triallist and tell him to goal hang. He would be bound to score at least one goal.

He's asked for Thai food so the Stadium need to make a special effort in the Referees fridge and kitchen before the game, again at half time and possibly at full time. Whatever we do don't criticeise him. Referees need support and encouragement. After the Juanjo incident and the Killie farce he owes us a special performance so here's hoping McManus is off early on. We do not want the Thai going to a replay. Glasgow would be in a far better position to oblige.

I think it should be Ken Dodd because Strachan and Celtic think we are a diddy team.

Black has almost certainly got to play because we need to get him fit for the Celtic game. Marcus is cup tied. Roy will be suspended after the Celtic game. We probably need to give McSwegan a start to give us options for Celtic aklthough Rory played exceptionally well against them in the League.

Will you be flying up from the Diddy Dundee Airport now under the control of Inverness International Airport?

After the emotions of last weekend we now face the daunting prospect of going to Tynecastle. Earlier in the season they game us a good beating in the last 20 minutes. Kidology was that we outplayed them but lost 4-1. With the split looming we have to pick up points against desperate teams at all angles and we are desperate to overhaul Falkirk and maybe Kilmarnock. Relatively speaking given the size of our club and the size of Hearts - Kaunas of Mid Europe this game is in reality bigger than Celtic's game against AC Milan. Lose and we are off the pace for a top six finish given all the other assassins ready to shoot us down. I have faith that the lads will lift themselves for what could be the biggest game in our history.

RiG - Robson is Gurning Curiously he thinks we have not forgiven him for leaving us for mega spondoolahs - in reality we are winding him up and it works quite often. He normally gets booked against us and occasionally gets sent off. Robson is Gingerwhinga This is the alternative. Despite signing a mega bucks deal prior to the game he still entered into significant whinging. Right intelligent Guy This not a reference to Inverurie's finest intellectual captaining the really big team at Tannadice but to the owner of the handle.

It will be very embarrassing to live with our neighbours over the Bridge - they beat Gretna at home en route to the Challenge Cup.

One person who deserves recognition from yesterday is Gary McSwegan. He was widely ridiculed for his time at County but subsequently found to have an injury requiring correction. On the face of it that has been rectified and Gary now has nothing to lose in the latter stages of his career. Fighting back from adversity I have to say he worked his socks off yesterday chasing lost causes and even countering dangerous situations near our box. This club is based on graft and I think the supporters should recognise how he attempted to get in and about Dundee United yesterday. I think he might play a critical role at some stage this season.

Thank goodness we avoided Hibs away, St Johnstone away, QOS away, Dunfermline anywhere, Partick at home and Motherwell at home where they always win.

Russell never seems to give up despite criticism and we are very lucky we have such a guy who is 120% committed to the jersey and club. This goal was a great response for being substituted against Celtic when he did n't deserve to be hooked. Winding up the United supporters from a safe distance was skilful in its own right.

Mark is not on the bench because he is cup tied. He played against Stirling Albion.

'The 25-year-old yearns for another chance to get his hands on the trophy and believes that, with Rangers already out of the competition, there is an opportunity for United to shine again this season.' Time to make a noise and put them to the sword.

I am sure County's new recruits will be impressed as they fly into Inverness International Airport and then head pasta the Caledonian Stadium en route to Dingwall. Anyway, a good pizza business for Leitch.

Hastings only scores great goals i.e. Champions League, Gold Cup Final Golden Goal.

2-1 - Dods scores an own goal, but Procter scores two own goals in a desperate attempt to get Dundee to tear up his contract. Robson sent off for acting as the peace maker between the clubs. Attendance 2,200 (all Dundee United fans because ICT boycott United's greed at forcing families and others to pay extortionate prices) but this is revised to 2,201 after Levein subtitutes Procter to stop him getting a hat trick of own goals. Levein is sent to the stand after Levein over reacts to alleged gesticulations from Donald Park.

One of the interesting posts was 'I wonder how many players we have sold to Caley over the years?' Presumably the answer is 'Nil' because they leave of their own accord.

Ross County seem to have a very tall player according to their website who would be tall enough for the SPL - Andy Dowie Position: Defender Date of Birth: 25/03/1983 Height: 6’11” Previous Clubs: Rangers, Partick Thistle, Stranraer

.....get well soon. Your contribution this season has once again been much appreciated and we want to see you fit and well at the earliest opportunity.

Levein was present in the stand on Sunday. However a captain only has one loyalty and that is to his current paymasters. Darren will want to help win the cup tie to edge closer to a Semi Final place. Like all players at his age he will probably not expect too many such opportunities to come round again regardless of where he plays his football. Let's hope our players remain focussed and very hungry for success. They deserve it.

Just our luck when we need a top Centre Half and a good reserve goalie that Ross County's role as our feeder club is lacking.

Smithy was definitely on the bench but didn't seem to warm up.

Rossco is a frustrated number 9. He'd be great with Denzil along side him. Both are highly skilled forwards as we saw against Hibs. With this being his 300th game expect a special goal from him Sunday to claim his place up front next season. If Brewster can play until he is 40 let Rossco go forward and torment St Mirren from the front. That would create the space for Procter and a new Partner for Grant.

With Ronaldo joining AC Milan, Celtic will have no fear at the Caledonian Stadium but for Graham Bain this is a chance to hit the world stage again. In the absence of support for the said song for the huddle, is it fair to say Mark Brown will get a tremendous round of applause?