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Who would have feckin believed it - Caley v Thistle - live on Sky Sports from the Munlochy Millenium Stadium, in front of a capacity 25,000 crowd. And they have even provided us with a special studio panel. No - its not Jeff Spelling - it is the Sneck equivalent - our very own Deaf and Smelling - Charlie Bannerman - resplendent in his school shorts and reling the glories of Top of the Form. He is accompanied by the one and only Terry Butcher, the 2011 Journalist of the Year Ewan Squirrel Murray and on the video link from Canada - our very own Scarlet Pimple - who makes history as the first person in TV history to reuire a 48 size fonted cue card. Charlie in his Inverness Royal Academy prefect uniform accepting the Top of the Form trophy. And the CTOFA chairman - Sip Bladder - has changed the rules for television viewing and both sides will be able to take on two legends at half time, whilst replicas of the Heathmount and the Muirtown Motel have been erected at either end of the Stadium. And both sides have been allowed to take on Management teams - The Howden Enders will be managed by Willie "Bibble" Fraser and Colin Arnott - two of the original Caley Animals and the Jeggie Bestards have chosen Sandy Rose (was he not a Caley Animal ?) and Duncy Munro, Howden Enders : DJS - Caley100 Mantis IHE - Doresboy - Buckett OldCaleygirl sub: KindofBlue Jeggie Bestards : Kingsmills - King Beastie GovanJaggie Jaggy 666 - Tichy Blacks Back (TBB) Red and Black Comeback (RBC) - Jagster And the venerable ADC Kidd blows his whistle and the clash of the titans begins. As expected the game starts at a furious pace and both DJS and Kingsmills are busy from the off. Both keepers have had a solid tournament and lets hope that DJS' from doesnt crash whereas the jury is out on Kingsmills. And yet more history is made as CaleyOldGirl becomes the first ever wummin to score in an Inverness derby - although both sets of supporters may suggest otherwise. And it is from one of her trademark scissor kicks that the glorious opener is created. But - as in the best of derbies - the Jeggie Bestards reply almost immediately - the newbie Jagster runs through Caley 100's legs and his cross is met by King Beastie and the game is on. Chaos in the Howden End - a double decker bus has parked behind the goals and a "Crout Out" banner has been unfurled by an elegant pensioner in a white suit and a mullet. Charlie Bannerman takes the opportunity to promote his books !! And on the stroke of half time Buckett raises a roar from the Howden End as he outpaces and outmuscles the Jeggie defence like last orders at the Royal Ordnance and the Blue half of Sneck rejoice Half Time : Howden Enders 2 Jeggie Bestards 1 The second half starts with the introduction of two legends for both teams - all appear to be incognito - the Howden Enders have a fit looking fifty year old in a Bob the Builder mask and a man in a muppet outfit. The Jeggie Bestards have two players in fancy dress - one dressed up as the Planet of the Apes and one like Plug from the Beano. But the ever vigilant and knowledgeable Charlie Bannerman notes that the Jeggie legends are not actually wearing fancy dress but are actually Charlie Duncan and Davie Milroy. But is the effervescent Govan Jeggie who honours the Riach name by equalising after a glorious through ball from Mr Duncan. The game is getting heated and IHE and Plug Davie Milroy clash. ADC Kidd produces the yrllow card but IHE goes to the bench, picks up a custard pie and splats it in Mr Kidd's face. ADC Kidd sends off Johndo MacKenzie for the 10th time !! Chaos reigns further as the Northern Constabulary remove IHE and Dewsbury Dude from the stadium on the suspicion that they have both been involved in a betting scam. IHE removed by the police ?!! The Muppet shakes his head and remarks "And he calls me a muppet". And back on the park the action is as frenetic as ever. But Mantis is caught off-guard whilst taking more photties, runs in to Caley100 and RednBlackComeback completes the comeback and puts the Jeggies ahead. ADC Kidd looks at his pocket watch and is about to blow the final whistle when Bob the Builder steams through the Jeggies defence and launches a 30 yard bullet in to the top feckin corner. Bob removes his false head and reveals that the hero of the Howden End is actually Billy Urquhart, Some things never change. Full Time : Howden Enders 3 Jeggie Bestards 3 So even more history as the first ever caley v Thistle clash moves in to Golden Goal Time. It is nip and tuck but the Jeggies break. Govan Jeggie feeds Charlie Duncan who rounds DJS and The feckin floodlights have gone off !! After a 10 minute wait the lights are back on and Willie Fraser proclaims that he had accidentally spilt his beer on the fuse box. Claims and counterclaims abound as Jeggies claim that Duncan netted whilst the Howden Enders claim that Caley100 had reccovered and cleared off the line. Unfortunately we may never know. And then the Howden Enders break and the exhausted CaleyOld girl puts in the muppet and it's the Golden Goal. And of course the only possible muppet could be Grasser Bennett. IHE returns from the Custody Suite to pick up the trophy from Marius Niculae. But as the Howden enders celebrate IHE is apprehended again by the Northern Constabulary for allegedly making a racist remark to Mr Niculae. This is now a very believable tale.

GRANVILLE, TOICH AND WILLIAM BELL PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENT LIVE FROM THE CULLICUDDEN COLISEUM THE CALEYTHISTLEONLINE FESTIVE FIVES 2012 COMING TO A PC SCREEN IN YOUR FECKIN HOUSE ON JANUARY 1ST AND JANUARY 2ND OPENING GAMES : RED DOT ROVERS V ADMIN ASSHOLLES ; HOWDEN ENDERS V ENGLANDSHIRE ; JEGGIE BESTARDS V OWD WUMMIN ; OVERSEAS ORIENT V CENTRAL BELTERS PRESENTED BY THE IMMORTAL ONE

Couldnt believe the ref didnt pick that horrific tackle up at the time. I can only think he thought it was a 50/50 tackle. Ref did not give a red card to O'Hanlon, not even a yellow, nor even a free kick. He didn't even give the free kick our way after seeing the stud marks and blood gushing down his shin. What have we done to the refs this season, no penalties, players wrongly sent off several times, and strangely if you look at the fouls we commit compared to teams against us, why are we the team more often with the more bookings? One thing for sure, Richie Foran is lucky to still be walking. Look at O'Hanlons face and expression when he put his studs right through Richie...... reminds me of an infamous tackle on Ian Durrant a good few years back. A couple of inches higher and it could have been Richie's blog as well as Chris Hoggs. Now correct me if I am wrong, we continually get told that if the ref sees a bad tackle and books the offending player, the SPL can NOT take action, as the ref has been deemed to have punished the player. But when its such a horrendous tackle, Im pretty sure they have reviewed it in the past and banned the player. However because its not an old firm player, and just the highland upstarts, it will never happen. Really urinates me off this stuff, especially when we have missed players for wrong decisions recently

So not much change then in 66 years and one month!

Those days are past now and in the past they must remain but we can still rise now and head up the table again.

But the real message here is that the glory days of the Howden Enders and the Jeggie Bestards will be fondly remembered but are in the past. We are now all united under the banner of Inverness Caledonian Thistle - O2feckinB. Wishing a prosperous and Happy 2012 to Terry and Mo and all associated with ICTFC - even the administrators and the erselickers

SEMI FINAL 2 - Jeggie Bestards v Central Belters Jeggie Bestards : Laurence - King Beastie Govan Jaggie Jaggy 666 - Tichy Blacks Back (TBB) Red and Black Comeback (RBC) sub: Jagster Central Belters : .ICT Chris - Red card Mary Hill - Capital Caley Caley Stan Wanderer Top six - subs: Born Caley ICT Paisley Naelifts Great news fer Belter fans as Capital Caley has returned from his loan spell at Aldershot and takes a strating place. Naelifts is kept on the bench after his strenuous journey. It is believed that Donview has found out that the tournament is live on BBC Alba and the tight Aberdonian **** has decide to stay in the pub and enjoy a barrel of the black and white stuff. Laurence looks like a Moden Day Jimmy Calder as he swings from the crossbar. And he is soon in action as King Beastie aka Keith Moon drums up support, fires in a beauty but Laurence tips it over the bar. And next up is Caley Stan who loops a header just wide and the Cypriot flags are flying. The Jeggies are lining up for shots at goals like cold Burnett pies on the shelf of a red and black hospitality shed. But tragedy has struck. the ball has lodged itself in Lauences mouth and he is being stretchered off. Laurence remarks that the stamdard of football was atrocious but at least he was able to keep a clean sheet. He is replaced in goals by Kingsmills - who has donned a protective finger splint. a wig, a robe and has come off the bench to act on behalf of the defence. But is first touch is to pick the ball out of the net. A superb move from RBC and TBB has ended in TichyBlacksBack opening the scoring. But more drama - a gang of yoofs are throwing coins on to the Jeggies end. And Capital Caley appears to be hurriedly trying to pick them all up whilst ICT Chris comes out of the goals to try and identify the gang colours. Govan Jaggie is on his mobile to the Security but Jagsterteaches them all a feckin lesson and drills home from the half way line. HALF TIME : Jeggie Bestards 2 Central belters 0 And it is like a scene from a 70's column as Naelifts comes on from Wanderer and their hands are both being shaken by Mantis - it is a throw back to the scenery of the Yorkshire Dales. ICT Chris drops a cross and Naelifts shows that he is the man to pick in an emergency and knocks in from close range. Red Card rushes over and dives in to the cameras. ADC Kidd produces a Red Card and Red Card is red carded, Crowd trouble - two yoofs are on the pitch, claiming to be the Outer Hebrides answer to Jedward. One is ejected and the other is allowed to go to the toilet to be sick. Topsixnext year is upended in the box and it is a clear penalty. Mary Hill grabs the ball, places it carefully, discusses the preview for 1000 lines, bores the feckin erse of ICT Chris and Mary Hill nets and puts Graham Alexander to shame. The weegieland crew have feckin equalised. And again as the goalden goal beckons we have a last minute winner from Born Caley. An own feckin goal. FULL TIME : Jeggie Bestards 3 Central belters 2

New rules have been drafted by the CTOFA and the semi finals will comprise of six a side games and the Grand Final will be a seven a side affair. SEMI FINAL 1 : ADMIN ASSSHOLES v HOWDEN ENDERS ADMIN ASSSHOLES - CaleyD - Scotty Dougal Mann4thejob - Alex McLeod RIG sub: Yngwie HOWDEN ENDERS - DJS - Caley100 Mantis IHE - Buckett OldCaleygirl subs: Doresboy KindofBlue ADC Kidd blows his whistle and Day 2 is under way. Intersting to see that both teams have started with their overnight captures. I have to say that the defence of the Asssholes has fairly filled half the feckin pitch. However I am sure that the Howden Enders will be confident that their pacy young forward line will still manage to inflict some damage !! And within the first minute Mann4the job ,who's place looked in jepoardy, has opened the scoring. He has outpaced IHE and chipped DJS. But ADC Kidd is reaching for his yellow card. Mann4thejob has been booked for speeding and he now has more feckin penalty points than Tinkerville. CaleyOldgirl is looking a wee bit under the weather and she has gone down injured - but Dougal refuses to kick the ball out of play, goes on a mazy dribble but is upended in the box by Caley100 who plants Dougal in to the ground with the firmness of putting a "Brewster Out" banner in to a bridge. The game is held up as OldCaleygirl is carried off and laid on the front terraces. The scene is a reminder of the Howden End in the 70's as she lies on the terraces, half unconscious with her skirt tucked in her knickers and swigging out of a half empty bottle of Pomagne. Mantis takes a phottie for the gallery. And meanwhile, after much debate, Scotty has taken on the responsibility of the spot kick. He is moving like the speed of Maple syrup pouring of a late morning McDonalds pancake. But as he runs up Dougal has thrown some green dotted confetti in to the air. It has blurred Scotty's vision and he blasts over the bar. A heated discussion ensues between CaleyD and Dougal and 40% is added to his warn status. HALF TIME: ADMIN ASSSHOLES 1 HOWDEN ENDERS 0 Yngwie and Doresboy enter the fray. Doresboy looks resplendent in his retro Caley T-shirt but Yngwie has lost his feckin shirt already. Some mad woman in a Dumbfarmlife strip has ripped it off his back, kissed it, stuck it down her knickers and is making for the exit, closely followed by some other irate woman in a Dungdee United strip. Rooney Giggs and now feckin Yngwie - this tournament has everything. And the Asssholes are down to 5 men as a claxon sounds from a rig in the Cromarty firth and Alex McLeod is out of the feckin stadium in a flash, donned a vis jacket and safety hat and is rowing towards the rig - and he appears to be shouting "It has'nt been three weeks ya bestards" - but he still manages to pen 26 poems and 14 songs on his voyage. Any way back to the play on the pitch - Buckett has been downed by RIG - and it is another penalty. ADC Kidd shows RIG the red card and the poor lad appears to be more distressed than when he was an unemployed, whingeing feckin student trying to secure a job. KindofBlue comes off the bench. He runs up slowly and staggered - a bit like the way he goes up fer a drink at the Caley Club - but it has worked as he sends CaleyD the wrong way. CaleyD complains - as usual - about the run up and ADC Kidd produces another red card - but not fer foul and abusive language - it is for "overadministrating" and ADC Kidd adds "and you have been doing it fer years. Dougal applauds and gets another 20% warn status. It is really end to end stuff now and it looks like the next goal will be the winner. Doresboy crosses but Dougal is favourite to win the header but it flicks off his heed and.into the empty net. Dougal celebrates with the HowdenEnders and Scotty increases his warn staus and Dougal is off. He can be heard chunnering "Feckin Admin tawts - that was worth 100 feckin Red Dots". Was Dougal an ex Howden Ender ? And the final whistle blows and the 4000 contingent party like it was McDuff after winning the feckin league. Respect to Roger McDonald and Norman Gordon is also forthcoming - Whas like us ? FULL TIME ; Admin Asssholes 1 Howden Enders 2

Flattered as I am to have scored ICT's only penalty of 2011, given my record in the pub it's more likely I'd be caught napping at the back...

GAME 4 : OVERSEAS ORIENT v CENTRAL BELTERS GTWB have made this a late kick off becos of Cullicudden lock ins and to facilitate kick off times around the globe (or I have been on the pishh all ady) Overseas Orient: Scarlet Pimpernel - Gabby Krakatoa - luv gravy ronnyyc sub: ymip Part Timer (guest!!) Central Belters : ICT Chris - Red card Mary Hill - Caley Stan Wanderer Top six - subs: Born Caley ICT Paisley The closing game is going world wide so the sponsors have been changed to Labbatts Blue, Fosters and any other forign feckin beer ya like. Drama - penalty from the kick off - Krakatoa erupts and takes down Caley Stan - who curses in some Greek twang annd curses - Mary Hill steps up and cheekily chips the ball over SP.s bald napper and scores the only penalty fer ICT in 2011 - put that in yer next feckin preview and heed the words of another brick in the wall. And within at minute the same situation happens at the other end - Red Card slices luv gravy in two - Must be a Polish gravy - and Red Card runs to the Sky Cameras (again) to celbrate a red card !! ronnyc steps up and nets - and then shoots off back to Time Square as he is booked to do a Lady Gaga act fer the New Year clebrations. HALF TIME : Overseas Orient 1 Central Belters 1 (Instead of a bigger font can someone send SP a feckin magnifying feckin glass) The Cullicudden Coliseum erupts with the chant of "Northen boys love gravy" and on feckin cue - luvgravy slips in like a "moose in the hoose" and puts the overseas boys ahead, But the weegies HIV capital Highland Exile dwellers fite back and Wandererfinds a chink in the defence and scores (as easliy as IHE in Wang Chai !!) and the Belter fecks the ex Orient. Part Timer comes on in the last minute - just before the last round, the last train and the last plane - and wins the game Own feckin goal !! Overseas Orient 2 Central Belters 3

GAME 3 - JEGGIE BESTARDS v OWD WUMMIN GTWB Productions would wish to apologise (laff) in advance of any ditsress ( :love02:) caused to any individuals in respect of associating with Owd Wummin - lets face it there is little difference between Jeggie Bestards and Owd Wummin anyway - actually sincere apolgies to any ladies associated !! Jeggie Bestards - Kingsmills - King Beastie Govan Jaggie - Tichy Blacks Back (TBB) Red and Black Comeback (RBC) subs: Jaggy666 Jagster Owd Wummin : Lg - Maimie Lizi - Donview OldCaleyGirl subs: davie Doofers Dad In commeration and recognition of the role of Inverness Thistle in respect of the club history the Pyrotechnics Society burnt down a replica of the old Kingsmills Stand, illuminated by red and black fireworks. And in recognition the feckin Jeggies take an early lead when - of all peeple - TBB races down the rite wing and plants the purrfect cross on to the napper of RBC who powers home a header that even Murd Urquhart couldnt stop. But the owd wummin swing their hanbags in response - especially the Guinnness Donview version - and the owd Clacher smashes in an equaliser. But there is even more controversy just before the break as King Beastie beats Lizi at the back post and powers it past the flailing Maimie. But the AndyCam replay suggests that KB had surreptitiously whooped Lizi's tartan rug over her head and Govan Jaggie had asked Lg to phone him a taxi. HALF TIME: Jeggie Bestards 1 Owd Wummin 1 The owd wummin are more like loose wummin after the restart and the wummin appoach is strengthened by the subs of davie and Doofers Dad - or the male equivalents of Denise Welch and Coleen Nolan. davie wafts lyrical and distracts the Jeggies momentarily - and before ya could pop to the Heathmount for a half time pint - Doofers Dad smacks home a beauty - and Doofer applauds. But the Jeggies are a cheatin resolute bunch and are soon back on equal terms. Jaggy 666 comes on and in true Omen tradition spins his feckin head around 360% degrees, scares the shittt out of the wummin - especially Donview - and the game goes to Golden Goal. FULL TIME - Jeggie Bestards 2 Owd Wummin 2 And from the kick off Kingsmills goes over the legalities and rules - summons both teams in to the centre circle to discuss - and samcks the ball off the center cicle into the Owd wummins box and it hits the proverbial hair net - GAME OVER

As Davie said on another thread, the only reason Foran does not have a broken leg is that he was not standing on it at the time. This meant that the power from O'Hanlon's lunge was not resisted and therefore it pushed Foran's leg away rather than breaking it. I have to say that my initial reaction had been that O'Hanlon had been trying to trap the ball but that Foran got there first. A closer look shows that is not the case for 2 reasons. Firstly, had Foran's leg not been in the way, the ball would not have been quite where O'Hanlon was aiming for. Secondly, this was a stamp, as evidenced by the damage to Foran's leg, whereas to control the ball with the sole of the boot requires give in the leg to take the pace off the ball. Regardless of intention, it was clearly a bad foul and warranted a yellow at least even if the referee saw it at the time as a genuine attempt to get the ball. But for me the issue is not the referee's failure to make the correct decision at the time, it is a question of what action the authorities decide to take now. The more I look at it the more it seems as though O'Hanlon is deliberately stamping on Foran. Had Foran beeen standing on the leg it could have been a career ending injury. The fact that it wasn't is down to luck and doesn't change the recklessness or intention of the challenge. All too often people are punished for the outcome of the action rather than for the action itself. There is no doubt that had Foran's leg been broken and the referee sent O'Hanlon off, he would have been given a lengthy ban. But would that outcome mean that O'Hanlon's actions were any more reckless. No. Of course not. O'Hanlon made a reckless challenge that could have ended the career of a fellow professional. The SFA have the evidence and should throw the book at him. Will they take action? Probably not. Instead they will hide behind the ineptness of the referee and do nothing.

not a ceilidh band but excellent cover band called FUBAR check them out on youtube and facebook

Horrific, reckless challenge. I wish the SFA could take retrospective action on this.

Good job guys! We may support a team that occasionally does things in a Highland league manner but we have a fan site that is world class! Thank you all for all your hard work.