Yngwie

Verse 2: "You can stick your ******* kelpies up yer arse"

I had yet another ICT dream, even more unlikely than the previous ones. This time, when Saturday came, I had forgotten all about the final and didn't go to Hampden! Only realised it was on at about 4pm when I was flicking through the TV channels. Didn't catch the score though.

ICT tried to book Mar Hall but Falkirk beat us to it, according to Peter Houston. So our boys have to make do with Cumbernauld Travelodge.

This will be our biggest ever support, but still, it is evident that the vast majority of Invernessians are not attending this wonderful and historic event. Seriously, what the **** is wrong with them?!

I quite fancy Young Boys.

Just wondering what everyone is planning on wearing to the Cup Final. The reason I ask is, well, you know how embarrassing it can be - you turn up for an event and somebody else is wearing the same outfit. I'm planning on wearing jeans and an ICT top, accompanied by an ICT scarf. So if everyone else could avoid copying, that would be great, thanks.

Well done RedCard and everybody else involved, that was great to watch. Some of the most random Z-lister endorsements you'll ever see, which just made it better! Really got me in the mood for Saturday, bring it on.

Whilst the away win at Dens secured 3rd place and Europe, we now know with the benefit of hindsight that we had already secured enough points the previous game, the midweek 2-1 home win over Utd.

Giving young keeper Mackay some match experience in case he is called upon next week was absolutely the right decision - but I suspect that for the time being it has made him, statistically, one of the worst keepers ever - never made a save and conceded a goal every 9 minutes!

Definitely ranks as one of the more satisfactory 5-0 defeats we'll ever experience.

Ta for the updates sneckboy. If you get a minute, and I'm sure you will, could you revive that thing you did a while back on how many points are typically needed to achieve each league position, and compare it with how things turned out?

I suppose there is a slim possibility the Compliance Officer could go after Williams for the handball, but I suspect he's learnt his lesson after Meekingsgate and won't bother wasting everyone's time.

I'm glad you're not the manager!

Just as a reminder, this is Celtic's last game of the season. Because they aren't in the Scottish Cup Final.

Don't worry, be happy! The excitement is perhaps starting to get to me - with Eurovision and the cup final within 7 days of each other, I think I'm going to explode.

I had another of my "playing for ICT" dreams last night. This time it was the cup final. An area of the Hampden pitch was cordoned off to let the grass grow and they forgot to remove the cordon before kick-off, so the ref asked the players to keep the ball away from that area as she didn't know what to do if the ball went in. We made a great start, and a Devine header crashed off the bar back onto his head for him to nod in, 1-0. Then a superb break from David Bingham (!) resulted in a shot and save, the ball rolled to me for an easy tap in and my place in history, but Barry Wilson nipped in front of me to slam it home and take the glory. 2-0 after 22 minutes, and then I woke up.

It was a replica. My understanding is that the actual trophy never ever leaves Hampden. So the only way to see it is to go to the final! The original trophy is insured for £2m, and does actually get presented to the winning team but quickly gets switched for a copy after the lap of honour. Any open-top bus parade uses a replica, which is wise after a Spanish club dropped their cup under the bus wheels a few years ago.

I was just wondering, in a presumptuous kind of way, if there is actually enough space on the trophy for our rather lengthy club name to be engraved. If not what do the SFA do - to avoid any such embarrassment, make sure Falkirk win it? Or use a smaller typeface than usual? Or drop one of the words from our name?

Even worse would have been another Meekings "handling" incident!

"Good morning, County fans. Now, this is what a trophy looks like!"

He played against us last time we were at Arbroath. Let's just say i'd love to see him at County!

And it gets a bit awkward when they eventually meet.......

A dream/nightmare I've had several times over the years is that I'm drafted in to play as a striker for ICT at TCS. But the game just seems to take place around me, as if I'm not there. I can't keep up with play and don't get anywhere near the ball, despite trying my best. I'd imagine this is what it was like to be Andrew Barrowman.

We've had a great season against Utd, and are in fact unbeaten versus both teams from Dundee. 3 wins and a draw v Utd, and 2 wins and 2 draws v their rivals.