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From Mondays Scotsman LOVE IN AT NEW LOVE STREET - Ewan MacMurray Group 4 Security have announced plans to make amends with travelling fans of Inverness Caledonian Thistle, following widespread condemnation of their brusque approach and draconian "policing" tactics at the recent Hibernian v ICT match played at Easter Road. Group 4 Security spokesperson, Adolf Mussolini, apologised profusely stating "We would wish to unequivocally apologise to all Inverness Supporters who attended the match at Esater Road. Our stormtroopers were overexcited by the aggressive match plan laid out by the new Stadium Manager, Vladimir Romanov, and they took their adrenaline out on the ICT contingent. We unfortunately did not hold back on men,women,children of all ages and apparently even through out a Highalnd papparazi - although he gave a false name of a pope. Group 4 Security have held preparatory talks with Strathclyde Police and the Stain Midden management. They aim to provide pre match entertainment at the slacious Alamo Bar on the aptly named Love Street. Cocktails and a buffet will be available and personal invitations are being sent out to members of the SESH and MOB fan factions. It would appear that members of those groups may have been singled out. Adolf added "Fortunately we have maintained a list of names of all those ejected and we look forward to make amends to the likes of Donald Duck, Elvis Presley, Ronald Reagan, Peter Paul XV1, William Wallace and the grey haired Marius Niculae". On arrival at the grounds all Inverness fans will receive a complementary packet of Lovehearts and will be encouraged to share the sweeties and enact the mottos with the stewards. Inverness fans will be provided with free flowery seat cushions and they will be permitted to stand whilst singing. A suggestion was for a chorus backed by flares but Health and Safety has limited this but ICT fans will be allowed to wave orchid scented joss sticks as they sing "Wise men say". Half time will herald a rendition of "All you need is love" by the Group 4 choir. Stewards will mingle with the ICT support and hope to encourage a flurry of group hugs, whilst doves will be released an rose petals will be scattered like confetti. Inverness fans, Mann4thejob and Johnboy expressed their support "This is an admirable gesture and brings back sweet memories of Woodstock and love ins. It will be just like the Aviva advert." So Paisley will be the place to be on Saturday 25th September if your goal is world peace and it will be pleasing to see the yellow jacketed barstewards being amenable for once. MOB spokesman IHE concluded " We all thought that there was a human being inside that cold, gruff exterior. It will be nice to watch ninety minutes of football again. I just hope unruly influences like the Highland Exile wont spoil it for us.

No, it is not necessary, but just like folk eating popcorn at the cinema, it has become part of the culture of the occasion. Personally I have no wish to eat pies at a footy match or eat popcorn but if it is part of the ritual for others then they should be able to do so without being ripped off and missing half the match. Perhaps we can kill 2 birds with one stone here and have the pies sold by the stewards. They could walk up and down the stairs with trays of pies for sale. This would mean no queues and the stewards would develop a better rapport with the fans. Particularly troublesome fans could be squirted with ketchup to identify them to the police for eviction.

Just reading through yesterday program n noticed TB offering his congratulations to Chris and Lara and thought we should too so "Nice one big yin n Lara.xxx

He's been waxing lyrical on P&B too, which probably won't help.... Posted Today, 14:10 I always look forward to going to Paisley as it is very like the Highlands of olde. Inverness has become too cosmopolitan and city dwellers are turning the place in to a venerable "oasis" of culture, attracting top businesses, tourism booms and a feeling of wealth and inevitable opulence. It will not be long before the place becomes the Abu Dhabi of Scotland. I will be travelling in the horse and cart with three of ma muckers. The trap has been banned from Inverness abut nobody bats an eyelid in Paisley. I can park it up in any street and let the neddies **** all over the place - it is pleasingly acceptive to the local folk. And the abundance of troughs on street corners is applauded as well. The other plus is that we will be able to get the old shell suits out of the cupboard. The dress code in the city has also debarred us from the comfort of the apparel but in Paisley, it is a bit like Eastern europe of olde as everybody is in shell suits and ya just blend in. Inverness has become too strict on substance misuse but Methadone and other street drugs are freely available and I am impressed that outlets such as Burger vans and Ice Cream vendors all appear to have a veritable menu available. It is also great to see Syringes back on the shelves of the local shops. I expect Inverness to have at least double figures at the game and that should be enough to promote a heady atmosphere in the hollow Lego environment and the home support will be heavily influenced by the Sponsored silence day promoted by the local Gay and Lesbian Society. And as a Seer I have a recurring dream where the glorious vision of Ross "Cafu" Tokely punching the polluted air as he cracks in a wonder winner in the SPL against his biggest detractors. So please back off the criticisms of Paisley. It is a wonderful reminder of how Inverness used to be.

Id better change my user name to wonderwoman then Johnboy! but will give it a try.had high hopes for St Mirren but it was pointed out by others on another thread that the stewards are the same ones as Morton use.

To add to their woes, Jocky's Scott's legal case against Dundee starts this week. Someone was telling me BTW that Jocky now works as a delivery man for a florist. If I can find out which one it is, I might arrange for them (ie Jocky) to deliver a wreath to Dens with the message "Wha's in charge?!"

Its worth noting that St Johnstone in their first season back in the SPL last year took 7 matches before they got their first win. It came on the 3rd of October. They managed to finish 8th and IMO had a very successful season. We've already took a massive scalp off Utd at tannadice and if we can match that with a win in Paisley we'll be in a good place to build on. Also Hearts who finished 6th last season lost more than they won. We can't except to win more games than we lose its just not realistic. If we can manage to get the main wins against teams like St. Mirren, Killie, St Johnstone and Hamilton (from now on) and focus on draws away from home against the rest we'll finish in a good position.

Don't think we can afford to play 2 wide midfield players like Ross and Hayes at Parkhead. Personally, I would give Nick Ross a wee rest and play Hayes as I still think he needs games to make up for the pre season he missed. I would also play Sanchez, if fit behind Rooney as we need players who can hold the ball and not give it away. For that reason, for me, McBain has to play as well so..... Esson Proctor Tokely Munro Golabek Hayes Duff McBain Sanchez Rooney Foran Appreciate it's hard to drop certain players but it's horses for courses at the moment. This is a nice to win game but overall, nor as important as Saturday's game

Scarlet.... I do have to admit that there are times when I genuinely worry that you may have been reading too much Coleridge!

Esson Proctor Duff - Tokely - Munro - Shinnie Ross - Cox - Duncan - Foran Rooney Normally Tuffy but not against Celtic. Time to try out the sweeper system. Foran to get some match fitness and possibly a goal. No real chance of him lasting, so Hayes on the bench, ready to come on for him when legs are tiring. I think that will make him more effective than Ross there. All hands at the back. Sneaking a goal our only chance.

Read your history Laurence my old son.

Do we try and "experiment" a little in view of the Midden game as we really dont have nothing to lose. I would go fer: Tuffey Cox Tokely Munro McBain Ross Duncan Duff Hayes Rooney Sutherland

My View this year is that a cup run is a bonus league comes first so lets rest a few players for the game to save 2 away days in 4 days (I know its part of there job but still) and also try a few new things out to see if we can find solutions to our injury problems by maybe shifting people about Tuffey Duff Tokely Munro Shinnie Duncan Morrison McBain Blumenshtein Sanchez Sutherland Subs (Only 5 being a cup game) Johnson, Proctor, Ross, Foran, Rooney

I would prefer the original poster to state his point when he posts drivel such as that was. I too can have a laugh at my accent but the original post was inflammatory and not celebratory as suggested by the OP.