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Laurence

Dumb Detective story

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There was once a sleuth who went by the name Barton to his friends Dumb Barton ( , Dumbarton )   had two  sidekicks  for want of a better expression, called Peter Head  and his brother Richard , known as Dick.

One day following information received from a man named Ross , who told them there was a County wide rumour that someone was plotting to Kill Marnock  who was a notorious  gangster believed  to have stolen   a Saxon hoard of Sterling ( Stirling ) silver.  Dumbarton and his colleagues , put on their trusty  (G) Aberdeen's and set off to Investigate  . Having  finding his mother well  he marched on through the realms on Perfidious Albion to have a pint at the Rovers before leaving on the long journey to the south where it was though that an old ship named the Queen might be the hiding place for the silver t  -  The main clue was that the horde was to be taken away, and to Bury ( I had to get that in )  the silver beneath a Celtic cross, of course the problem  was to avoid the  Forest Rangers who patrolled the area . The problem was also that the Ayr ( air) above 3000 feet was very cold and wet . Before they could get to their destination  a voice called our -" Alloa - Alloa  - what's going on ear  then ? ",  It was the local constable on patrol , having just taken forfar  ( four for ) at the police annual cricket match  on Gretna  village Green .  Barton showed his licence  card to Investigate ,  No problem said the  Police Officer as it was ascertained the Maroch was in fact in Police custard, ( Marock spilled the desert whilst being questioned over  a matter of a stolen rifle from  the 3rd Lanark  regiment ( That's one for the historians )" With their Hearts in their mouths , having had a lucky escape,  They trudged through the thistles of Caledonia to find their way home.

  • Facepalm 1

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