Ex's

[wyness_is_god]

Same problems are gonna eventually resurface  :029:

Head says one thing, Heart says another  :crazy07:

Knowing the ex has been with someone else since splitting up  :029:

Yet the ex has apologised for all wrong doings and suggests it can work and be better than the last time (heard it all before lol)  :012: 

And ya know-reckon (with a bit of arrogance and ego) your upto the challenge the ex has just suggested of trying again  :015:

Deep down though ya just know ya gonna have to risk getting hurt if ya do go back, and then the ex kind of then has an advantage as they've won ya back despite everything.

Thing is, i would usually be shouting NO dont go back at this point (if it was someone else) but really i dont think i've lost all feelings for this woman  :023:

So question i ask you guys,

Is it ever the right thing to do, getting back together with an ex ?  seriously guys..yer advice is needed  :001: 

[CaleyD]

My Advice......A Football forum is the last place to be asking people for guidance  :015:

[Yngwie]

Go through your post, but apply it in the context of ICT getting back together with Brewster, and there's your answer!

[Joonya]

Getting together =  :021:

getting hurt =  :019:

doing the hurting =  :018:

being asked back = :024:

thinking of going back =  :32:

going back = :33:

[wyness_is_god]

:015: :015: :015:

Very true CaleyD, but somebody may have been through the same situation and may have vast knowledge of the goods and bads of it  :001: on the other hand some may just like to laugh at another persons situation  :018: 

Yngwie  :010: ICT getting back together with Brewster  :010: I'd go as far of as the question Sh@g, Marry or Cliff.... They should have cliffed him  :015:

[RiG]

I don't think I have ever gotten back together with an ex after breaking up. I've certainly slept with a few after the split but they were always mistakes and one night stands. I guess a lot would depend on how and why the couple parted in the first place. Any break up could be reconcilable (?) with time but mine never have been though I am friends with most - or at least I think I am!

In a nutshell I don't think it is often a good idea but it can work and is ultimately down to the couple involved.

[Johnboy]

Thing is, i would usually be shouting NO dont go back at this point (if it was someone else) but really i dont think i've lost all feelings for this woman  :023:  

That's the key isn't it... sounds like you're not sure, in which case give it time and don't make any hasty decisions...

If on the other hand you spend all your awake time thinking about her, and all your sleep time dreaming about her...

Tough chit - You'll be going back mate, and will more than likely suffer the consequences.... :rolleyes02:

[tm4tj]

Geezo...........a new job for RIG, resident agony Aunt for the website :029:

[RiG]

Geezo...........a new job for RIG, resident agony Aunt for the website :029:

I'd do a better job than Just Joan in the record anyway.

[wyness_is_god]

I guess a lot would depend on how and why the couple parted in the first place.

Without going too far into it as this is not the jeremy kyle show  :015: lets just say, i was alerted to her cheating on me, but never found the proof, however too many arguments followed it due to a lack of trust, yet the proof could be she was in another relationship within a month of us splitting (maybe just a coincidence) but shes not in that relationship anymore and now she wants me back.

JB its that time that worrys me, if i aint quick enough she might think im not interested and move on again  :crazy07: and although i could string her along till i decide that personally would'nt make me any better than she was.

[KingBeastie]

No.  Don't do it.

Eventually (may be a while!), you'll know it was the right thing to do.

Don't go back - onwards and upwards.

If you really wanted to get back with her you wouldn't even be asking advice.

[Johnboy]

My Advice......A Football forum is the last place to be asking people for guidance  :015:

Just ignore these unhelpful, insensitive types, wyness_is_god...  :rolleyes02:

[dead_ball_specialist]

You know her game now, she will dump you again as soon as she gets a better offer. :33:

Wait and see just how much she wants you back before you make any decisions. Don't let her know you still fancy her.

Treat em mean, keep em keen.

so true.

[RiG]

Without going too far into it as this is not the jeremy kyle show  :015: lets just say, i was alerted to her cheating on me, but never found the proof, however too many arguments followed it due to a lack of trust, yet the proof could be she was in another relationship within a month of us splitting (maybe just a coincidence) but shes not in that relationship anymore and now she wants me back.

Obviously I don't know the exact situation but from hearing that I would say

1) You aren't sure if you can trust her - not a good basis for a relationship or any possible chance of you getting back with her.

2) She only seems interested again now she is single but didn't seem too bothered before.

Indeed some of what you say is strikingly similar to my last girlfriend who cheated on me and I got to find out months later via her pals. That was nice. Even better was that since she started seeing the guy she cheated on me with she has cheated on him with me!  :015:

Would you honestly be able to trust her again and not bring up that she might have cheated on you in the past? If so then, if she makes you happy, go for it. But you need to be sure that her affection is genuine and not simply temporary while also being certain you can trust her not to possibly do the same thing again.

Best of luck  :003:

[Guest couchpotato]

I woudn't want a relationship with the sort of bird who is prepared to sleep with me. 

[wyness_is_god]

RIG - I think, If i did take her back, I would always have that niggling feeling going on where im asking myself , is she cheating again.  :029:

But to answer your question, having always seen the best in people (maybe im very naive) i'd probably not bring it up in conversation with her about cheating but trusting her again would be a long process and she would have to win that trust.

DBS - thats where i would like to think she'l have learnt from her mistake of going to a "better offer"

KB - If i was 100% wanting back with her your right i would'nt be asking advice, i'd be doing it... but heart says one thing, head is being arrogant and sees getting back with her as a challenge.  :029:

Its going to take a lot of weighing up the pros and cons i think , but all advice has been/is much appreciated  :022:

The striking issue i have, is do i want to risk getting hurt again but then thats the same stepping into any relationship, but if i was to be fecked about again would i rather it happend with someone whos done it before or someone i have to completley go through the process of getting together with someone new, make plans with, go through good and bad times with, just to be hit for 6 by the same hurt in somebody else i've put faith in.

[Johnboy]

I woudn't want a relationship with the sort of bird who is prepared to sleep with me. 

Neither would I....  :004:

[wyness_is_god]

I woudn't want a relationship with the sort of bird who is prepared to sleep with me. 

I'd be thinking what's wrong with the frigid b1tch if she did'nt wanna sleep with me  :015:

[SMEE]

WiG....only you know if you wanna take the chance again. My personal feeling is, she is obvioulsy untrustworthy! And that for me would seal her fate.

[tm4tj]

show us the photos and we can then conduct a poll

[wyness_is_god]

show us the photos and we can then conduct a poll

That would be unfair on her  :018: 

It's advice/opinions i was looking for, not a circus event  :029:

A wise bit of advice i got today from a friend was "You deserve better and can do better than her however if you take her back and she does it again you deserve all you get" now that, I did'nt expect and at first i thought was a wee bit harsh.

But it has made me see more sense than i was before in this situation and i'm now thinking a lot more about myself in this than her (as i was admittedly starting to fall into the trap of where i was thinking she must still feel something to have asked me back)

[Kingsmills]

A successful long term relationship has to be based on mutual trust.

It sonds that any trust you had will not be completely rekindled so my opinion, for what it's worth, is that any reconciliation you attempt will not have a long term future.

[Johnboy]

A successful long term relationship has to be based on mutual trust.

It sonds that any trust you had will not be completely rekindled so my opinion, for what it's worth, is that any reconciliation you attempt will not have a long term future.

Is divorce a subject you specialise in, Kingsmills...?  :024:

[Yngwie]

If you got back together you'd have some fun for a while but it's very unlikely to last. It's up to you whether that's worth it.

[wyness_is_god]

Well, firstly I'll just say thankyou to everybody who's had an opinion on this thread, some of it was stating the obvious, some of it was helpfull, but all was much appreciated  :021:

I have come to a decision on whether to take this girl back or not, and after seriously considering all the pros and cons , I've decided its in my best interests if I don't take her back. While yes it would be fun to start with, I think all along i knew the same arguments would crop up again and again, there is a serious lack of trust and while I could go back to being friends with her, its not the base for any hope of a rekindled relationship and it wouldn't be fair on her or myself to try and what would end up forcing the trust back. It's not worth the hurt a 2nd time if she was to cheat again and while it may have been the easy option to go back, I am quite looking forward to moving on and finding someone new i can share experiences with and hopefully maybe one day settle down with and with a bit of luck somebody who would rather go to the football with me on a Saturday and then onto a night out together or night in together with a couple of DVDs rather than spending the weekend doing the total opposite of each other.

And for what its worth, If i had gone back - I personally don't think it would have lasted more than a month :014: