works memo...

[f*ballers wife]

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Memo: Swearing at work

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals

throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of

normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily

offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do

however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately

express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been

provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue

in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a right f_____g cow.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: Get to f______!.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___g me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

ALTERNATELY: WTF?

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,

Human Resources

[Scarlet Pimple]

FW

What I really like about you is that you are not really very down-to earth are you/

:015:

[f*ballers wife]

oh my!!!

i can be VERY down to earth and practical when the need arises

...

...

...

...

........ like taking smelling salts with me to revive your poor sis when she has to witness the 'erse'!!!

or i could stand between her and 'it' taking the full force with my own eye, id have to keep one closed incase i went blind of course.....  :004:

see.... yet again another display of down~to~earth~iness sweetpeeee!!!

[Scarlet Pimple]

Oh my!

I hope this doesn't get out of hand.

Do you work for Marks & Spencers by any chance lovey? :003:

I think IHE has already been to my sis's place since the parcel man left the parcel  on the doorstep--and fled. Do you think IHE and the Parcel Man arrived at the same time?  :001:

Maybe in the dark he mistook IHE's hairy erse for  a doorstep Christmas tree and the tattoo thereon was the evil eye of the little yellow god (Omar Khayam 1066) :  :015:

FW--how are we doing--what more can we do to get him to respond I wonder

Over to you....

[f*ballers wife]

oh my!!!

i have a couple of things that may temp him COME to answer..... but i canna post them on here!  :33: :33: :33:

[Scarlet Pimple]

Tempt him dearie?---- my goodness you tempt me.... :crazy07:

[Scarlet Pimple]

Of course you could always tempt him to enter the fray by sending him a bottle of Canajin whusky..

Aye! And then he would be COMING through the rye , bejabbers.

Oh , how you flatter to possibly deceive , petal?  But I am sure IHE will be UP to the challenge.

:015:

[KingBeastie]

oh my!