World Cup...Beckham Jokes

[Mrs Pauliebee]

Let's have them......

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no

previous experience he skilfully mounts the Horse and appears in

complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a

steady pace.

Victoria admiringly watches her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to

lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the

neck shouting for it to stop.

Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her

husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is

only Saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip

on the horse's neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse,

but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse

Gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is

slipping into unconsciousness.

Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!!

Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the

store and unplugs the horse.

[+The Fly]

Had to laugh at the programme on ITV last night about him. He was asked the question "What's the most stupid thing that's been written about you?", Beckham "Dunno, so many stupid things!", Interviewer "OK, for instance, how about the story that you only wear your trainers once?", Beckham (after sheepish pause) "Er, that's just about true..."

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[Interthenet Jnr]

Any more anti Englishness in threads approaching the world cup will be met with this response:

Jealously is a terrible thing :014:

[KingBeastie]

You will NEVER meet a Scot who is jealous of the english. It doesn't happen. In fact it is not possible. There is nothing to be jealous of.

[Interthenet Jnr]

One down 700 odd other registered users to go :014:

[Mrs Pauliebee]

Don't quite understand what you think there is to be jealous off Jnr?

Scotland is a tenth of the size of england - but has ten times more passion, pride and dignity!

It's Gods Country!

Which is why we are moving back, and others, including yer own family, have exiled in the first place!

[Interthenet Jnr]

Don't you worry about my family, i'll be balancing that one out when i'm old enough. I fancy Manchester myself :006: . Was i right in thinking my dad tried to get my mum to have me born in England :021: , she wasn't having any of it though :020: .

[Mrs Pauliebee]

Poor Paul was born on the wrong side of the border too! He's be making up for that shortly though! :021:

[Interthenet Jnr]

I envy him so much :004:

[Mrs Pauliebee]

I take it you'll never be wearing a kilt then!

[Interthenet Jnr]

I take it you'll never be wearing a kilt then!

I'd rather wear a skirt :006:

[+CaleyD]

I take it you'll never be wearing a kilt then!

I'd rather where a skirt :006:

Make a huge fuss about being English and you can't even speak the language :016:

[Interthenet Jnr]

I take it you'll never be wearing a kilt then!

I'd rather where a skirt :006:

Make a huge fuss about being English and you can't even speak the language :016:

Bollox to slow :006:

[KingBeastie]

that should be too slow! :016:

[Interthenet Jnr]

bollox to the lot of you :007: :009:

[Guest Sam]

The best small country in the world ....

[KingBeastie]

no - that should be b-o-l-l-o-c-k-s! :001:

[Interthenet Jnr]

no - that should be b-o-l-l-o-c-k-s! :001:

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[Mrs Pauliebee]

Cosgrove says it all.........

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/opinion/colum...osgrove/#story1

[+Gringo]

Although some Scottish football fans want England to do well in the World Cup....

Really??? Were they pished at the time???? We should be told.... :004:

[+dumpmaster]

Back to Beckham jokes.

Whats in common with David Beckham and a Rolex watch ?

They both come in a posh box !!!!!

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[metalgecko]

After a hard England training session Beckham was feeling thirsty and headed off to the drinks machine to get a drink.

In went the first 50p and out came the Lucozade. David decided to put in another 50p and out came another bottle. For a third time he put in 50p and again another drink came out.

By this time there was a queue behind Beckham with Neville and Lampard getting more frustated calling out " Come on Becks we're dying back here how many do you want" ?

"Just a minute Lads" say's David "I'm winning big time here "!

[Heilandee]

David was asked by a reporter if he was "Volatile" he replied " yes , I can play on the right wing,the left wing , and midfield so i think i,m fairly volatile"

[+Gringo]

Sven said "If Rooney plays he may get a cortisone injection", Beckham heard this and said "If Wayne's aving a new car then I feckin want one".

[KingBeastie]

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