Ryanair flight in difficulties.

[Charles Bannerman]

Aw begorra, bejabers, bejasus... dis is yer Roianair Poilot on de intercom. We've only gone an' roon outa fuel at tirty tree tousand feet so de cabin's gonna decompress in tree minutes. Oxygen masks will drop down from de panel above yer heads.... if you put a two euro coin in de slot on yer armrest.

Den we're gonna ditch in de Oirish Sea. If yez are wantin a loifejacket, please ask our cabin crew who will give you woon fer a ten euro non refundable deposit.

Glockamorra everyone... glockamorra....