Getting into the Olympic squad

[Yngwie]

I'm unfit, untalented and lazy.

What event would be the easiest way for me to make it into the next Olympics?

[+Gringo]

Archery or Shooting maybe.

[Yngwie]

Yeah, shooting is the one that sprung to mind - the sort where you are lying down and aiming at fixed targets looks easy.

Stay very still, breathe slowly and steadily, get target in sights, pull trigger, gold medal.

[Guest birdog]

I'm unfit, untalented and lazy.

What event would be the easiest way for me to make it into the next Olympics?

Ask if you can become kit man for the female Brazilian beach voleyball team.

[KingBeastie]

I'm unfit, untalented and lazy.

Has Walter Smith got your phone number?

You weren't in dungdee untied's defence last night were you?

[tm4tj]

in Dundee United defence, he wasnae there last night

[KingBeastie]

hmmmm... I see what you did there!

[Guest Spectre]

Simple.

Grow to about 6'5".

Run like sh*t for 85 metres.

Jog the last 15 metres whilst waving to the crowd.

And break the world record.

[tm4tj]

Got it, the perfect sport for Yngwie..............Yngling, if you know how to yngle you will be a true Olympic champion.

[The Mantis]

Had to laugh today, the Olympics were on TV but I wasn't really paying attention, then I heard somebody say "Andy Baddeley Drawn in lane 1"

[Yngwie]

Yngling, if you know how to yngle you will be a true Olympic champion.

I used to be good at canoodling, is that an Olympic sport yet?

[tm4tj]

:thumb04:

If you are good at canoodling, maybe Ladies Beach Volleyball is for you

Or how about the Madison................I'm sure you could sneak in there amongst the chaos on yer pushbike unnoticed.

Edited August 19, 2008 by themann4thejob

[Yngwie]

You know, I can just imagine an Olympic committee meeting along the lines of "Right, we've built this expensive velodrome for the cyling race, but we've got two weeks events to fill, so let's have a brainstorm to see how many ridiculous cycling events we can come up with to fill the schedule."

Madison, Kierin, Points race, Sprint, Pursuit, team variants etc etc All involve getting on a bike and trying to go faster than your opponent. That's one event. Sorry Chris, I'm taking some of your medals back.

Likewise the swimming - one race, whoever is fastest wins, use whatever stroke you want.

And any event that needs music isn't a sport, it's a dance.

I might make an exception for Synchronised Swimming though, if they amend the rules slightly : every 30 seconds, a shark gets released into the pool, but bonus points can be achieved for maintaining those fixed smiles whilst being dragged under.

[CaleyD]

They've even managed to dull down BMXing.....what's that all about?

[broomie boy]

They've even managed to dull down BMXing.....what's that all about?

bmx'ing and mountain biking at the olympics...aye right

[Guest birdog]

They've even managed to dull down BMXing.....what's that all about?

bmx'ing and mountain biking at the olympics...aye right

Well they have all sorts of games/competitions in the Olympics that I would never regard as a sport and most of the athletics card are nothing more than training for real sports.