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dougiedanger

Dingwall joke

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There's a special place in hell for people who take the piss out of Ross County fans.

It's the away end at the Global Energy Stadium.

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County fan works with the forestry. He’s been using an axe and usually manages to fell about 10 decent sized trees a day. He goes to the agricultural show and this chainsaw salesman tells him if he buys this chainsaw he can easily do 50 a day.

A month goes by and the gadgie arranges to meet the salesman, claiming the saw is faulty. It’s only been doing 40 a day. The salesman is puzzled, so he pulls the starter. The gadgie jumps 6 feet back shouting “hells bells, where the feck is that noise coming from!”

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Gudgie coff heads into the big toon of the Sneck, looking for gardening tools.

Losing his bearings, he goes into a swish menswear store, where a trendy Sneck gent in suit and tie greets him.

Gent: ’Good day sir, how may I help you today?’

Gudgie coff: ‘Ah’m lookeen fer a rake.’

Gent: ‘Yes, how may I help you, sir?’

Edited by dougiedanger

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A Sneckite takes a day trip to Dingwall with his pet, a wee stoat-like creature.

The pet is thirsty, so they head into the Mallard, where Gudgie Coff is working at the bar.

Sneckite: ‘Excuse me mate, my pet is thirsty and fancies a beer. Do you serve minks?’

Gudgie Coff: ‘Aye, rakes.’

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Roy MacGregor was on the news a few weeks back saying that Ross County never spends more money than what comes in the front door.

They better hope he doesn't start using the side entrance.

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