Darts.

[Charles Bannerman]

Whilst flicking channels, I note that there seems to have been quite a lot of coverage of the world championship Darts on TV of late. Is there a qualifying standard for this tournament in the form of a minimum Body Mass Index which these men have to achieve?

If so, can we expect a cameo appearance from Colin Montgomerie at some point?

In general I find it all a bit "Sunreaderish" but I have to say that the frequently interviewed bling laden Cockney Geezah is often quite good value!

Edited January 4, 2010 by Charles Bannerman

[Yngwie]

The best thing about darts was Sid Waddell, one of the greatest sports commentators of all time. Here are some of his best lines.

?Jocky Wilson . . . What an athlete.?

?That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!?

?He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed?

?Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a waterbuffalo with a pea-shooter?

?The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them?

?Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy.?

?It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline?

?Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out?

?His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry ch.affinch?

?That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.?

?It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia.?

?His physiognomy is that of a weeping Madonna.?

?He's as cool as a prized marrow!?

?Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.?

?He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.?

?The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome?

?His face is sagging with tension.?

?The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.?

?He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.?

?That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank?

?As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here.?

?He is as slick as minestrone soup?

?There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.?

?The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!?

?This lad has more checkouts than Tescos.?

?John Lowe is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians?

?By the time of the final on Sunday he should be fit to burst!?

?There's only one word for that - magic darts!?

?Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!?

?I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow?

?Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles?

?Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax.?

?If you're round your auntie's tonight, tell her to stop making the cookie's and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other?

?When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow's only 27.?

?Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex.?

?If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home.?

?He's playing out of his pie crust.?

?They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!?

?Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.?

?There's no one quicker than these two tungsten tossers... ?

?Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured, whereas Bobby George is like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.?

?He's playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league?

?Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!?

?The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu.?

?He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory.?

?Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis?

[Charles Bannerman]

The best thing about darts was Sid Waddell, one of the greatest sports commentators of all time. Here are some of his best lines.

?Jocky Wilson . . . What an athlete.?

Which reminds me of the American golf commentator who once came across with the line "Colin Montgomerie is a great athlete!"

Sid Waddell, though. That's the Geordie guy isn't it? Yes, he was highly entertaining and extremely knowledgeable but we don't seem to hear so much of him these days which is a pity. I believe he also had a very good degree from a very good university.

[tm4tj]

Darts is a skill, you don't need to be athletic to play good darts.

You have a go at the darters every season Charlie, live and let live man.

[DALNEIGHCALEY]

Whilst flicking channels, I note that there seems to have been quite a lot of coverage of the world championship Darts on TV of late. Is there a qualifying standard for this tournament in the form of a minimum Body Mass Index which these men have to achieve?

If so, can we expect a cameo appearance from Colin Montgomerie at some point?

In general I find it all a bit "Sunreaderish" but I have to say that the frequently interviewed bling laden Cockney Geezah is often quite good value!

Snobbery is alive and well at CTO .

[Heilandee]

Jocky Wilson was a true athlete,one of the fastest pint drinkers Kirkaldy and indeed Scotland has ever produced.

[Charles Bannerman]

Jocky Wilson was a true athlete,one of the fastest pint drinkers Kirkaldy and indeed Scotland has ever produced.

Aye... pints of vodka and coke wasn't it?

And honestly... Mannie and DC... I'm really not trying to be snobbish at all but there's just a few things about televised darts which I find a little bit surreal and OTT and really quite funny.

[DALNEIGHCALEY]

A bit "Sunreadirish" !! and you reckon you weren't being snobby ? I seem to rememeber you got on your high horse when someone dared have a go at your beloved harriers .

[FortressICT]

The Darts on Sky Sports has been great entertainment over the last few nights on TV compared to other channels which are again very poor over the festive period.

The Power is one of the greatest sportsmen ever.

I've just purchased tickets for the premier league darts round in aberdeen in april. Should be a good night out.

A good quote from this week was, "Darts is the most beautiful sport around"

[tm4tj]

Now then, thats an athlete for you, big John Henderson fae Huntly.

Made his entrance down the arena wearing his Huntly FC scarf, good on ya big boy.

[Heilandee]

Used to love watching the Embassy world darts before the split into 2 bodies spoilt the validity of the world title.Whilst I'd never call darts a "sport" in the real sense of the word (i.e. using the "do you change footwear to do it?" rule to define if it's a sport or not) the skill and nerve required should not be underestimated.I was a no bad pub player in my day but had a window between 2 and 6 pints where if there was a decent crowd watching a couple of pints settled you down but once ya got passed 6 the doubles doubled and finishing became a lottery :)

[buckett]

It's called IRONY.

Some folk just don't get it!

[starchief]

Love darts. Me and Stephen Fry. Must give the Sun a go sometime too. I'm sure Stephen reads it all the time.

Is archery a sport? Don't see too much difference between aiming with a bow and aiming with a hand.

[Alex MacLeod]

A bit "Sunreadirish" !! and you reckon you weren't being snobby ? I seem to rememeber you got on your high horse when someone dared have a go at your beloved harriers .

Never knew Charles was into birds of prey........................he's more the type to prey on birds :)