which song describes you best

[broomie boy]

i'll go for DEEPLY DIPPY , my heids up my erse the day

[IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER]

Oldest Swinger In Town :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015:

When you score with a chick in a disco bar

Take her home in your hairy little car

Then you find you went to school with her Ma and Pa

You're the oldest swinger in town

When you won't look in a mirror in the light of day

Swear you dyed it when your hair turns grey

When you zip up your Wranglers and your belly's in the way

You're the oldest swinger in town

Here you come and there you go

Wire wheel-spokes and a stereo

But the engine's clapped, and the driver also

Is the oldest swinger in town

When your barber takes a little less time each week

The kids don't understand a word you speak

When you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat

You're the oldest swinger in town

You prefer a pint of mild to Bacardi and coke

The songs are too loud and there's too much smoke

You'd like another dance but you're scared you'll have a stroke

You're the oldest swinger in town

Here you come with your chest all bare

A little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair

Like the disco king meets Yogi Bear

You're the oldest swinger in town

When you're feeling as stiff as a skinhead's boot

Rub on Vick where you used to splash Brut

And the latest punk fashion is your wedding suit

You're the oldest swinger in town

When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal

Travolta shades and nine-inch heels

You say a man is just as old as the woman he feels

You're the oldest swinger in town

Here you come with your lips closed tight

You never smile, you know it wouldn't look right

'Cause your dentures glow in ultra-violet light

You're the oldest swinger in town

And you look so mean 'cause your pants are too tight

You're the oldest swinger in town

And it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night

You're the oldest swinger in town

(as sung by Fred Wedlock)