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PullMyFinger

The husband shop

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A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going..

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak..

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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Please be aware of a clever 'Eastern European' scam while out shopping. Here's how it works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot.

They both start cleaning your windscreen, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift home.

You agree and they both get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing and both get completely naked.

Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately, and thrusting herself against you. While you are distracted, the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen on December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, and 29th. Also, January 1st, 4th, 6th, 10th twice yesterday and very likely again this coming weekend.

P.S. Tesco's have wallets on sale for 1.99 each but ASDA are 1.75 and look better

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oh my!!!

id say my lift is stuck between floor 4 and 5 so who needs to go further!

ps... i dont do floors, just very cumfy king sized beds!

That's quality... :lol:

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oh my!!!

id say my lift is stuck between floor 4 and 5 so who needs to go further!

ps... i dont do floors, just very cumfy king sized beds!

I see you haven't changed then f*ballers wife! Welcome back!

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