Smart Erse Awards

Mrs Pauliebee · April 18, 2006

Smart Erse Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check

tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he

opened his trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a

beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Erse Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,

but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a

stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied,

No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Erse Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid

replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop

finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

ticket.

Smart Erse Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up

that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is

right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are

backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and

walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got

stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this

bridge and ran out of gas."

#1 SMART ERSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no

other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete

and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said..............

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"