Woof

[+Gringo]

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire

length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well

dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine

asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,

"Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was

under that dog.

"Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little

dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans

often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the

fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the

road.

And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong ***** out the window."

[The Mantis]

I remember standing on North Bridge in Edinburgh one night. A guy at the bus stop was eating a fish supper. A woman with a poodle was standing next to him in the queue, but the poodle wasn't giving him any peace. It kept getting up on its hind legs and clawing at the guy's leg, trying to scrounge some of his fish.

Eventually the guy says 'does your dog like fish?'

'Yes' she says

'Do you mind if I throw it a bit then?'

'Not at all'.

So he picks it up and chucks it over the wall into Waverley Station.