Good News Bad News....

[Johnboy]

A guy has an appointment with his doctor after having undergone some medical checks. The doctor says :  "I have good news & some bad news....  I'm afraid you have inoperable cancer & I'm sorry to say you only have a few months to live"....  After recovering from the shock of this dreadful news the guy eventually asks what the good news is."Did you notice the beautiful blonde girl in reception wearing a very low-cut dress?"  "Yes" says the guy, "Well", says the doctor, "I've got a date with her tonight" .......!!!

[Crusher]

[Guest kingkojak]

:006:

[f*ballers wife]

oh my!!!

i go to noo yoik and come back to THIS???

jb, they dont get ANY better eh?  :017: :016:

[Johnboy]

Sorry - FW.... I can't post the type of jokes on here that you appreciate - there's a lot of decent people log on to this site, and they would be highly offended at the the kind of stuff that appeals to you....!!

More good/bad news....

Doctor is doing the rounds at the hospital when he encounters patient Jim..... "Jim", he says "Got some good news & some bad news... The gangrene has got worse and we're going to have to amputate both your feet"

"Oh My God", says Jim, "What's the good news?"

"Well" says the doc, "There's a guy two beds along from you that wants to buy your shoes"....!!!!!

[metalgecko]

Guy goes to the Doctor with an embarasing complaint. "Ok show me" say's Doc but can't believe his eyes when he sees the patients member is bright red with a yellow spot.

"I've never seen the like before " say's Doc and urgently flicks through a medical journal. "I'm sorry to tell you" he says to the patient " "but you've got Chinese VD and it is  incurable" " The only thing we can do is cut it off".  " Sod that" say's the patient and storms out, crying and shaking. "I'm gonna get a second opinion " he say's.

Sitting at home he wonders what to do then thinks " I'll go and see a Chinese Doctor, he's bound to have heard of this and will know what to do"

When he eventually finds the Doctor he shows the problem asking if it does have to be cut off. " Rubbish" laughs the Chinese Doctor " Not true, Western Doctors know nothing, no need to cut it off"

Thank God for that thinks the patient, crying with relief

"Yes" say's the Doctor " You wait one week, it fall off itself " !